The Art of Waiting Well

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

This is could easily be the extended version of my last blog post, Count the Fruit. There was just too much to say about the fruit of the Spirit that I couldn’t help but keep writing this week. So if you haven’t checked that out, please do!

A little behind the scenes of my writing will tell you that I read Bible passages in almost every English-language translation, and try hitting the original Greek text too, in order to get the most out of what the authors are saying.

Well, this was no different. And I was particularly struck by the Amplified Bible translation of the fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

– Galatians 5:22-23

Did you catch what it said about patience? Oh my WORD! That’ll preach.

Patience isn’t just about the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting.

I mean, am I the only one who feels personally attacked with words like that? (I feel like Michael Scott from The Office when he declares that he is the victim of a hate crime!)

The point is that if we are truly surrendered to God, walking with Jesus, and filled with the Spirit, then the result of His presence within us will. be. this. fruit!

It’s literally the cause-and-effect theory in action.

Why does it matter how we wait?

  • If I’m not hurting anyone, why does it matter how I wait?
  • If it doesn’t make the wait any shorter, why does it matter how I wait?
  • If I’m not gaining anything from it, why does it matter how I wait?
  • What difference does it make??

I’m reminded of that line by John Wooden that says:

The true test of a person’s character is what they do when no one is watching.

So maybe it doesn’t change anything in your circumstances to wait well. But something happens inside us when we do.

  1. Perhaps you wait in ANGER
    Your default is irritability and frustration. You have a short fuse and should not be crossed if you don’t receive the answer you’re waiting for in a timely manner.
  2. Perhaps you wait in ANXIETY
    Your default is to be overwhelmed and filled with stressful, anxious thoughts. You can’t get your mind to settle, and you can’t function as what if‘s overtake you.
  3. Perhaps you wait in LISTLESSNESS
    Your default is apathy and disinterest. You lose any kind of ability to function because waiting on that one thing becomes all that matters. And life loses all meaning without that piece of the puzzle in place.

What do all these characteristics have in common?

They are symptoms of distrust in God.

Focusing on our circumstances makes the process of waiting unbearable.

It puts all the responsibility on our circumstances to fulfill us – our needs, wants, expectations, goals, and more. It’s not meant to be this way. We will ALWAYS be disappointed with this approach.

But those who wait for the Lord? Ohhhhh….. they will renew their STRENGTH! They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint.

– Isaiah 40:31

How is this even possible?

How can strength be RENEWED… not just sustained, propped up, extended… but renewed. Only God, y’all. Only God.

Because if His Spirit is filling us, even though we may begin weary and worn out… renewal comes as we focus on Him over our circumstances.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

– 2 Corinthians 4:18

Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end. He did not give up because of the cross! On the contrary, because of the joy that was waiting for Him, He thought nothing of the disgrace of dying on the cross, and He is now seated at the right side of God’s throne.

– Hebrews 12:2

So how do we wait well?

Worship while you wait

Because He is worthy ALWAYS. Even when we’re not getting what we want.

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.

– Psalm 42:5

Bring it to God

Because He alone can sustain and fill us with hope in the waiting.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

– Romans 15:13

These can only happen when we expose TWO LIES, and disarm their power over our thinking patterns.

Culture feeds us the following lies that are masquerading as RESPONSIBILITY and MATURITY.

1. The Responsibility of Being in Control

  • Culture tells us that we’re somehow being responsible when we get busy trying to control every potential outcome of our circumstances. It is the illusion of control, and believing the lie that we can decide when and how things will turn out. Of course, we can control some things. So distinguishing the difference between things we can control, and things we cannot control, is critical.

Listen, those of you who are boasting, “Today or tomorrow we’ll go to another city, spend some time there, go into business and make heaps of profit!” But you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring. For your fleeting life is but a warm breath of air that is visible in the cold only for a moment and then vanishes!

– James 4:13-15

2. The Maturity in Worrying

  • Culture also tells us our worry is a sign of maturity. Because if we dwell on our problems and consider all possible outcomes, then we are morally good for worrying about them. We believe that immature people simply don’t understand what’s at stake, or don’t consider all the factors. When in fact, we’re really just believing the lie that we care more because we worry more.

Does worry add anything to your life? Can it add one more year, or even one day? So if worrying adds nothing, but actually subtracts from your life, why would you worry about God’s care of you?

– Luke 12:25-26

It goes on to talk about how if He cares so much about birds and plants, wouldn’t He care for YOU all the more?

Bottom Line

Waiting well matters. Not just for my witness, but for my mental health and the state of my soul! It’s worth reflecting on how we wait, and ask God to help us trust Him with all the unknowns so that the result of His presence within us could be the fruit of His Spirit. And that is the true art of waiting well.

What’s in the Ears

I cannot even deal with how good this song is. Hit it at the 7:00 mark if you feel like a good cry over words to build you up in your season of waiting. You’re welcome.

Have you mastered the art of waiting well? I can assure you, I have not! But I’d love to know if any of this has been helpful to you! You can let me know in the comments or send me a message. And feel free to share this too if it resonates!

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

A Seat at the Table

*Check out the podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!

This phrase is trending hard as social, political, and racial unrest continues to challenge the status quo.

Who deserves a seat at the table? Who doesn’t? Who owns the table? Who decides who gets a seat? Can I just build my own table – with my own set of standards and conditions of merit?

Let’s cool it for a sec, and remember that actually… NO ONE deserves a seat at the table!

No one is right with God. Not. Even. One.

– Romans 3:10

Now, there’s a story in 2 Samuel about a special seat, at a special table that I really think is worth exploring.

It takes place long after David slays Goliath, and after King Saul turns on David and tries to have him killed. Our story begins after David is finally crowned king of Israel himself.

Our new king asks a question. It’s a simple question, and we may not even pay it much heed. But he asks:

“Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show the kindness of God for Jonathan’s sake?”

2 Samuel 9:1

I had to ask myself, why is this on his radar? Why does David feel compelled to show God’s kindness to Saul’s family? And what would that even look like?

Here’s the lowdown:

  • First of all, he wasn’t actually compelled, because…
  • It was not out of guilt or obligation.
  • And it wasn’t even about Saul at all!
  • He was committed to a covenant promise he made to his friend, Jonathan. That’s it.

In 1 Samuel 20:14-15, Jonathan had pleaded with David to promise to show his family kindness even after Jonathan passed.

So now, David’s on a mission. He is determined to keep this covenant promise to his dear friend. And even though Jonathan isn’t around to benefit from it, or even know about it, he will not be swayed.

Finally, David finds Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son. He was crippled after a tragic childhood accident, and could no longer walk. He was in hiding out of fear of what David might do if he was discovered.

Mephibosheth was terrified of David for two reasons:

  • He was the grandson of David’s rival and enemy, King Saul
  • His very existence was a threat to David’s throne and rule

So this is not an unreasonable concern or irrational fear. Because under normal circumstances, a new king would do everything in his power to eliminate any threat to his throne as well as any remnant of a former dynasty.

Mephibosheth was absolutely both of those things.

Instead of focusing on himself and his fear, he should have focused on who David was: the rightful king, fulfilling a covenant promise to his father, Jonathan.

Because David followed God, the kindness of God that David wanted to bestow on Jonathan’s family was a direct outpouring of the kindness that he had received from God first.

So what does David do when he finds Mephibosheth?

He doesn’t kill him or exile him. He doesn’t torture him or punish him.

David responds with compassion:

He tells Mephibosheth to not be afraid.
He restores to Mephibosheth all of the land that belonged to Saul.
He gives Mephibosheth a seat at the king’s table for the rest of his days.

This meant that David didn’t just allow Mephibosheth to inherit what had previously belonged to his family…

But through David’s extravagant generosity, Mephibosheth was invited into the king’s inner circle, and he and his household were provided for, for the rest of their lives!

Let’s consider how we might relate to this story.

Do you want a seat at God’s table? Do you, like Mephibosheth, see yourself as an enemy of God?

Isaiah 30:18 says that, God is full of mercy and rises to show you compassion…. not because of righteous things you’ve done, as we find in Titus 3:5, but because of His great love.

I hate to break it to you, but we don’t deserve that seat. We just don’t.

Because of the inherent sin we possess from birth, we are disqualified from a seat at the table.

Just as Mephibosheth whose grandfather, Saul, tried to have David killed, Romans 5:10 says that we were God’s enemies.

But as David made a covenant to Jonathan, which had absolutely nothing to do with the evil in Saul’s heart… so too did God make a covenant to His people that overrides the sin in our hearts.

In addition, David’s covenant did not hinge on the actions of Jonathan’s descendants: namely, Mephibosheth who was hiding out of fear of David and his own personal shame.

So in the same way, any ongoing shortcomings we may continue to raise as a barrier between us and God, do not affect the extravagant generosity of God’s covenant and the offer of a seat at His table.

Like Mephibosheth, we need our King to rescue us. We are poor, lame, weak, and fearful. We cannot save ourselves. We desperately need the kindness of God extended to us through His hand of restoration, redemption, and forgiveness.

But let’s not settle too comfortably into the seat of the helpless victim.

For we are not just Mephibosheth in this story – an enemy of the king. If you’re like me, and you’ve recognized your own poverty and need of a Saviour, then we can’t stop the story there.

Friend, you and I are also King David in this story! And he was known as a man after God’s own heart.

David’s actions here are like the ultimate pro tip on kindness.

How can we, like David, use our influence to fulfill the covenant promise we make as believers? How can we show God’s kindness to others, inviting them to sit at His table?

Here’s a page out of David’s book:

  • Seek out those in need of God’s kindness
    This required work on David’s part! Mephibosheth didn’t run to David for saving. David sought him out, not the other way around. Let’s not assume that because there’s no one in need at our door step, that there’s no one in need at all.

The Son of Man has come to seek out and to give life to those who are lost.”

– Luke 19:10

As followers of Jesus, we’re invited to be part of that mission and do the same! Because the fields are ripe for harvest, but the workers are few. (Matthew 9:37)

  • Bless those who don’t deserve it. Even our enemies.
    Ok, enemies is a strong word, and maybe you look around and don’t notice any. But surely you know people who rub you the wrong way… with whom you strongly disagree… whose lifestyle or life choices is perplexing to you at best.

    Mephibosheth was an enemy and a threat to David’s throne, but David’s relationship with Mephibosheth’s father, Jonathan meant more to David than that. And the covenant they shared was more important than any threat to David himself.

    Are we similarly committed to our own role in the covenant promises of God to show kindness to a world that needs it?

I close the best way I know how. By quoting a different Saul – who turned Paul, from Romans 12:9-21:

What’s in the Ears

In reflection… do you feel yourself unworthy of a seat at the King’s table? Mephibosheth certainly did! In fact, in verse 8 he asked David why he’d concern himself with a dead dog such has himself? Those are strong words!

Although we are undeserving, God has sought us out and offers us a seat at His table through His Son, Jesus. In gratitude of the kindness God has shown us, let’s consider how we may show the kindness of God to others in turn.

Have you got any thoughts on this you’d like to share? Send me a message or comment below!

*Check out the podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!

Character over Comfort

Alright, I didn’t want to get into it. But sometimes God allows me to go through stuff that freakin’ sucks and then prompts my heart to write about it. So here we are. This is truly, from the overflow.

A few months ago, I shared about how my daughter doesn’t sleep and how it’s costing my very sanity. You can check it out here. Unfortunately, no change to report on that front. But it’s a tiny example of what many are dealing with in this season.

Our problems just won’t go away!

Maybe yours is related to…

  • the pandemic
  • polarized political views
  • relationship challenges (spouse, child, relative, friend?)
  • work struggles
  • physical health issues
  • strained mental health

…and all the ramifications thereof?

So let me ask you this:

Hearing that for the first time felt like a bucket of water dumped over my head; but like the coziest hug too… somehow all at the same time.

Some follow up questions:

What am I really after in this life? What do I really want?? Is it comfort? Is it ease? Is it a pain-free, smooth ride?

Umm, yes. That’s literally what I want. And all I want.

  • I don’t want things to be difficult.
  • I don’t want an uphill battle.
  • I don’t want to be pushed out of my comfort zone.
  • I don’t want to struggle.
  • I don’t want my people to struggle.
  • I don’t want to be uncomfortable
  • And I don’t want to grow. I DON’T!

This past year has been difficult on a lot of people, but not all for the same reasons. No matter your experience, I think we can all admit that it’s pretty much been THE WORST. We just can’t seem to agree on why.

Whether you fear the virus, the government, or what another minute stuck in your house will do to your mental health… we all have a choice in how we’ll deal with what we’re facing.

I confess, this year of survival mode for me has been with a lot of numbing. Numbing with Netflix, comfort foods, mindless scrolling, etc.

But is that the ultimate goal? I’ve really got to ask myself: is this all I want?? To be numbed out of feeling any kind of pain that forces me to deal with hard things?

And what then? Say I choose to deal with those things. Once that’s done and I’ve put on my big girl pants, maybe even matured a little… What do I do with it all?

It’s meaningless if God’s Kingdom mission does not become my own life mission.

Let me say that again...

If my life doesn’t become about God’s kingdom mission, it’s all meaningless.

At some point we must ask ourselves:

Do we actually want to be used by God in drawing people to Him?
And if following Jesus is so important to us, why are we not talking about it more?

These are just questions I’m personally wrestling with. I’m sorry if they ruffle feathers. But also, not sorry…?

Because honestly, I’m just nearing the end of myself with this extreme desperation for comfort over character. After all, comfort does not build character. As much as I wish it would. And the longer I sit in the presence of Jesus, the less I care about how cushy my sweet little life really is.

If you’re looking for validation in your quest for comfort, then good news is that you can absolutely settle for simply eternal salvation with a comfortable life!

That’s because God’s love for us doesn’t change. BUT! …our effectiveness does.

If you’re like me and the latter doesn’t sit well with you, then read on, friend! There’s work to be done if we’re willing!

Here’s what I propose regarding character > comfort:

Let’s get back to the basics!

  • LOVE GOD. LOVE PEOPLE. (Mark 12:30-31)
  • LOVE YOUR ENEMIES (Luke 6:27-36)
  • TAKE GREATER INTEREST IN OTHERS – less navel-gazing? (Philippians 2:1-11)
  • PRAY FOR THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU – or even just disagree with you! (Matthew 5:44)
  • BE HUMBLE (Ephesians 4:2)
  • HUNGER AND THIRST FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS – desperate desire to be right with God! (Matthew 5:6)
  • SHOW MERCY (James 2:12-13)
  • HAVE A PURE HEART – integrity! (Philippians 1:9-11)
  • WORK FOR PEACE (Romans 14:19)
  • WATCH YOUR ANGER (Matthew 5:21-22)
  • BE GENEROUS (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)
  • BE PERFECT – ok, ouch (Matthew 5:48)

We could go on, of course. But a common thread is that these can be super hard to do!

In general, we’re just not naturally inclined to do anything that might compromise our comfort. It goes against our survival instincts!

It requires intentional work and sacrifice. But these are the very things that will build REAL character in our lives.

It’s truly a matter of priorities. What matters more to me? Obedience to God, His will, His purpose for my life? Or my own plans and agenda?

Perhaps you can relate to this, but I have a tendency to manipulate my own interpretations of scripture or understanding of God’s character to suit my needs and desires.

Yes, God is for us. (Romans 8:31)
Yes, He fights our battles. (Exodus 14:14)
Yes, He works for our favour… etc etc etc. (Psalm 84:11)

These things are true AND biblical! But how they manifest may look very different from God’s perspective and our expectations.

My tattoo says: “YET HE IS STILL GOOD”. A reminder that even when things don’t go the way I want, God is still good. I am stubborn, forgetful, and lazy. So I needed this permanently etched on my skin as a reminder of God’s forever goodness. For a post I wrote about it, click here!

Let’s recall our original question, is He still good if He only sustains me through the very thing I’m asking Him to save me from?

Can I come to terms with that, and still trust Him?

Can I still believe that the comfort I’m giving up to follow Him will be worth the character He is building in me?

Worth the intimacy He offers in His presence? Is it worth it? Is He worth it?

Because it’s got to be a daily sacrifice of comfort.

Even more than that, it’s also a sacrifice of control. Or actually, the illusion of control.

I think this past year taught me that more than any other time in my life. I don’t actually control my life like I thought I did! The question is, will I trust God with all that this implies, or claw my way back to the driver’s seat of a car I’m lousy at driving anyway?

I’m almost positive that this blog post has got more questions than any other I’ve written. Probably because I’m still working through all this.

  • I haven’t arrived.
  • I’m not yet where I want to be.
  • I’m still selfish and moody.
  • Still fail constantly at all the basics I previously mentioned.
  • Still revert to numbing pain.
  • Still prioritize my own comfort over submitting to the character-building I know God wants for me.
  • Still learning to bring that mess of crap to Jesus.
  • Still learning to trust Him to sustain me.

My dearly loved readers….

I pray with great faith for you, because I’m fully convinced that the One who began this good work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ!

– Philippians 1:6

What’s in the Ears

Couldn’t bear the thought of slappin a self-promoting song onto this blog post. It’s always all about Jesus. This song is a great one for that. Check lyrics here!

The struggle is so real. The tension between comfort and character is palpable. But there’s goodness in it!
Do you feel yourself fighting against it? Or is your heart shouting, yes! To be honest, I’m a bit of both. So if that’s you too, you’re not alone, friend. Let me know your thoughts on this! Send me a message or comment below!

Too Much and Not Enough

Confession: I don’t know what it is about 7pm, but once it strikes, I hit a wall and can no longer parent. It’s like I’m a character out of Cinderella who’s out past curfew and turns into a pumpkin.

Being a stay-at-home parent means you’re ON for your kids at all times. And with one kid who isn’t a lover of sleep, it means we sure do see lots of each other during all hours of the day and night.

By the time we’re finished with dinner, I have a hard time even being around my kids. Is that TMI? My tank is empty. I’ve reached my limit and I have nothing left. I just can’t seem to be enough for them.

*Disclaimer, my kids are freakin’ awesome. They may feel like too much, but they’re really not. They’re just regular kids, with regular needs. However, I am a human mama with human limitations. I don’t have boundless energy or infinite patience. Even on my best days, my kids can feel like way too much! And I can often feel like I’m not enough.

Regular kids + mama with limits = high chance of not being enough for them.

**Disclaimer 2: I know I can also be a little much. Being married to an introvert, I’ve learnt that when my husband has had a difficult day, I can be a little overbearing with my questions, requests and anecdotes.

It requires a conscious effort on my part to Tone. It. Down! and not be overbearing, demanding, naggy, clingy, desperado… ya know, all the most sought after qualities every man loves in his lady.

But it doesn’t stop there, folks!

Being too much or not enough is a struggle in many relationships dynamics.

Take friendships: we can all think of that one needy friend – hey, maybe you are that friend!

That one person who never seems to get enough of your time or attention. Who needs more of you than you can give, or are willing to give!

With unhealthy boundaries, we can feel like we’re stretched too thin in meeting the demands of our time and relationships.

We can feel like we’re either too much for some people, or not enough for others. To some, we may feel like a burden or a nuisance. While to others, no matter what we do or how much we give, it’s never enough.

This is the tension we all have to manage as people created with limitations in our time and mental capacity. We simply cannot be all things to all people (Scripture taken out of context, don’t @ me!).

He loves me. Even when I’m annoying and clingy!

To find any success in these areas, I humbly propose the following:

  • Recognize the struggle
  • Put healthy boundaries in place to manage time and responsibilities
  • Ask God for His empowering strength to face each day and its demands
  • And voilà! You win at life!

Ok, ok I’m obviously making ridiculous mom jokes. But the truth is that the heart of this blog post isn’t about boundaries, tips on time management, healthy vs. toxic friendships, or anything else like that.

What I’ve come to realize is this: our culture of unrealistic expectations means that we can so easily feel suffocated by the needs of others. Or on the flip side, we can feel the pressure to shrink ourselves in order to not be so overbearing.

Whichever side you tend to lean on, neither gives us a healthy view of God. That’s what I really want to shed light on here, and that’s the real tragedy of this whole thing.

Allow me to make a few things clear:

  • You will NEVER be too much for God.
  • You will NEVER be not enough for God (excuse the double negative, I’m making a point).
  • You will NEVER be misunderstood by God.
  • You will NEVER be a burden to God.
  • You will NEVER be annoying to God.
  • You will NEVER be insufficient to God.

Why? Because God is not like us! He doesn’t get tired. He doesn’t lose His patience. He doesn’t expect something from us that He knows we were never meant to give.

He doesn’t roll His eyes at our neediness. He doesn’t get exasperated at our worry. He doesn’t get frustrated with how long-winded our ramblings can be.

Yes, He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) and He is angry at our sin (Isaiah 59:2).

But amazingly, God—so full of compassion—still forgives us! He covered over our sins with His love, refusing to destroy us all. Over and over He holds back His anger, restraining wrath to show us mercy.

Psalm 78:38 (narrative edit by me)

Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the people who overwhelm me, I have to consciously remind myself that God doesn’t get overwhelmed by me. He doesn’t need a break from me. He doesn’t get His fill or reach His limit of “Tina time”.

Because the Lord longs to be gracious to me; therefore He will rise up to show me compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!

Isaiah 30:18
Sweet scooter gang

Where do you go to fill up when you’re empty? Who could ever truly be enough for you when you’re just not enough?

I look up to the mountains—
    does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth!
He will not let you stumble;
    the one who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, He who watches over Israel
    never slumbers or sleeps.

The Lord Himself watches over you!
    The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon at night.
The Lord keeps you from all harm
    and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
    both now and forever.

– Psalm 121
  • God is always always always available to us. ALWAYS! (Hebrews 4:16)
  • He created us for Himself! For the sole purpose of being in relationship with Him. (Romans 11:36)
  • He is fully aware of all our limitations and toxic traits, and they do not deter him from us. (Hebrews 4:15)
  • He knows every little thing about us, and still loves us completely. (Psalm 139 – all of it! Read it with fresh eyes when you need the reminder that God doesn’t think you’re too much or not enough.)
  • When we put our faith in His Son, Jesus, we are covered by Him, and can have full access to fountain that never runs dry. (John 4:14)

When you’ve been burnt enough times by people who want you to be less of yourself, or demanding more than you have to give, please please please – remember that Jesus is not like that. Yes, He asks us to lay down our lives to follow Him (Luke 9:23), but it’s so He can give us abundant life in return!

I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!

– John 10:10

I’d say that’s a trade in our favour, friends! So when you feel hesitant to go to God with your frustrations, questions, qualms, and needs – don’t! Don’t feel hesitant! He’s not burnt out by you. He has more for you than you could ever need.

What’s in the Ears

This week we’re showcasing not 1, but 2 songs!

The first was an obvious choice and truly ministers to the heart.

This is a perfect song for our topic too! It’s a recent release and the whole album is really powerful.

Talk to me, friend! Do you ever feel like you’re too much or not enough for your people?
Where does this land for you? Do you ever project those feelings onto God? Let me know in the comments or send me a DM!

First Impressions

They can be a lot of pressure! What comes to mind, is an opportunity my husband and I had six years ago to make a good first impression with potentially life-changing results.

We had been interviewing at various churches across North America in search of a new ministry opportunity. When one church in Southern Ontario invited us for a two-day visit including a formal interview and to meet some church leaders and the staff.

Quaint Windsor airport. Heading back to Montreal after our interview!

I remember the anticipation leading up to the interview as we took time to prepare, dream, pray, and freak out! Ok fine, I probably did the freaking out. My husband was calm, cool, and ready. Which is a good thing too, because he was doing 99% of the interview.

Besides the anticipated interview questions, I couldn’t help but consider how I might be perceived.

I knew all about that stereotype of a pastor wife vibe. I also knew I didn’t check all the boxes.

  • Love Jesus ✔️ (but I’m not great at trusting and obeying Him)
  • Love others ✔️ (but reeeeeeeally not as well I should)
  • Read my Bible ✔️ (but I find parts of it boring… yes, even me, the one obsessed with the Scriptures)
  • Pray everyday ✔️ (do drowsy bedtime prayers count?)
  • Listen exclusively to worship music (yeah, no… please don’t ask for my Spotify history)
  • Never cuss (define never…. damn it! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?)
  • Passion for children and youth (umm sorry husband, you might not get the job and it’s all my fault)

It was so stressful to think about what kind of first impression I’d be giving during those first encounters.

Well, spoiler alert: I didn’t blow it. My husband landed the gig! And it was 6 years ago this past week, since that whirlwind weekend of first impressions.

Why are first impressions such a big deal? What is it about being asked to describe ourselves that makes us want to run for the hills instead?

Whether it’s:

  • a blind date
  • job interview
  • first day of school
  • first day on the job
  • meeting the in laws
  • or a small group Bible study…

The intense pressure we feel to project the best possible version of ourselves is truly palpable.

Hi, I’m God.

I’m willing to bet He did not feel the pressure, but in the book of Exodus, we find one of the very first times God describes Himself in Scripture. How cool is that?!

Let’s check it out!

Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him [Moses]; and He called out His own name, Yahweh. “Yahweh! The LORD!
    The God of grace and mercy!
I am slow to anger
    and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.
    I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.
But I do not excuse the guilty.
    I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;
the entire family is affected—
    even children in the third and fourth generations.”

– Exodus 34:5-7

Honestly, it gives me chills just thinking about it. After an already wild start for humanity, God’s like: “Ok, this is it y’all. Here’s a little about me and what I’m all about.

It’s been said, if you want to know what God’s like, just look at Jesus. But I would argue that God had been revealing Himself to His people, and trying to make Himself known and understood long before Christ walked the earth.

So I say, if you want to know what God is like, Exodus 34:5-7 is a great place to start!

Naturally, God starts with His name – actually, names!

Yahweh: The earliest recorded name of God, spelled YHWH in Hebrew. The name in itself is considered so sacred and holy it couldn’t even be uttered! Yahweh means “He who brings whatever exists into being”.

The LORD: When in all uppercase, it is another name for God. And there is none like Him!

God goes on to describe His character by painting a picture of who He specifically is in relation to His people.

Every facet of God’s character contains these attributes in their fullness. He isn’t one more than another. As James 1:17 puts it, “there is no variation or shadow of turning – nothing deceitful, nothing two-faced or fickle.”

Even though God is fully and completely all these characteristics, I love that He starts with grace. It’s a lesson in my own life to extend it for others and to receive it for myself.

Grace is receiving goodness from God, which we do not deserve and could do nothing to earn. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Mercy is God withholding punishment we deserve and extending pardon and forgiveness instead. (Deuteronomy 4:31)

Being slow to anger has to do with God’s patience and delay in displaying His wrath against sin. Also related to His long-suffering and how He patiently endures our offences and rebellion against Him. (Psalm 103:8)

Unfailing love is SO hard for us to get our minds around because we cannot produce a love that is so unconditional or steadfast, but God’s love really is! (Romans 5:8)

Faithfulness: This scripture says it best, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

How are these characteristics manifested? FORGIVENESS!

God forgives iniquity, rebellion, and sin… to a thousand generations! (Deuteronomy 7:9)

That’s really good news!

But we can’t fully appreciate how good that news really is unless we read the whole of verse 7. Sorry y’all.

We’d rather ignore the reality of 7b, and live on the good graces of a God who extends unfailing love to a thousand generations.

But friends,

…what would have been the point of Jesus’ death, then?

We cheapen His sacrifice when we downplay our sin and its consequences!

The following paints a sobering picture:

“We’re not really surprised that God has redeemed us. Somewhere deep inside, in the secret chambers of our hearts we harbour the notion that God owes us His mercy. Heaven would not be quite the same if we were excluded from it. We know that we are sinners, but we’re surely not as bad as we could be. There are enough redeeming features to our personalities that if God is really just, He will include us in salvation. What amazes us is justice, not grace.”

– R. C. Sproul

Justice has to be served. We’d expect that from an earthly court with a human judge! So of course a God of justice has to punish the guilty, or else He wouldn’t be true to Himself.

However, and this is a big HOWEVER! If that’s where we stop, then there’s not much good about the Good News, is there?

It’s only in understanding that Jesus took on God’s wrath against our own sin, in our place, that we find the very best ending to ANY story.

Faith in Jesus means that we are always under the banner of mercy, not judgement. And God’s default for us is mercy every time to a thousand generations.

I’m reminded that mercy TRIUMPHS or REJOICES over judgement (James 2:13). Knowing God errs on the side of mercy means the Good News isn’t just good, it’s life-changing!

So whether it’s an opportunity to make a good first impression, as in our experience; or a chance to get to know the unfailing love of God – those initial interactions truly matter because they have a lasting impact on how any relationship will unfold.

What’s in the Ears

Y’all this song! A reminder that it’s His kindness that leads us to change (repent). He’s so good.

I felt so compelled to share about the richness of this passage, but they don’t call them hard truths for nothing! Can you share your own thoughts on it with me? Send me a message or comment below!