Tag: podcast

Troubled

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!

In the spring of 2015, my husband began to look for work outside of our home province of Quebec.

Since Montreal is a big city with plenty of opportunities, most of our friends and family established their lives in basically the same parts of the city where they grew up. And we thought we would too!

But sensing God’s call to explore opportunities elsewhere, we polished up the resumés and scoped out the Help Wanted sites for hiring youth pastors across the country.

When we put our house on the market (but not the children)

As a sidebar, I also happened to be giving up the six years of seniority I had accrued with my local school board teaching History and English at the secondary level. I was sure I’d teach with that board until retirement. Unfortunately, I was just 30 years shy of that goal.

Turns out the anticipation of moving was really only exciting to me in theory. When it got down to it, my heart was troubled.

Life, as I knew it was about to change forever. Apart from my little family, the solid pillars of my life – work and community – were crumbling around me faster than I could grasp them and bottle them up.

I want to tell you that it was an exciting time. I want to say that we were super pumped and eager for what would come next. And although there were many days when that was certainly true, it was often scary too. And in quiet moments, I was troubled.

Waiting for our flight to Leamington for a week of candidating

I didn’t actually want things to change. I didn’t want to uproot my family. I didn’t want to meet new people. I didn’t want to find a new church. Or make new friends. Or live in a new house, find a new job, or new community.

As much as I love surprises and adventure and exploring, I didn’t want those things at the expense of giving up the good things I already had: a close knit family that lived nearby, lifelong friends who knew me to my core…

It’s just easier to move on when your current reality sucks. But mine didn’t suck! I was happy. And I was in no rush to change a thing.

That’s why I think it’s possible to hold those things in tension: peace about change, yet heartache over loss too.

Fortunately, God knows better and He was already putting the wheels in motion to make those changes in our lives before we even recognized our need for them.

Our first youth group event: baseball practice!

What to do with a troubled heart

I’m reminded of Jesus’ disciples in John 14. Like me, the disciples were blissfully content with the status quo and had no interest in drastic changes that would alter their lives in any way.

So when Jesus warns His disciples that He would be leaving them soon and that they could not follow after Him, they were clearly troubled by the news. So Jesus tells them:

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe God!

– John 14:1

What strikes me about this is not so much what Jesus says, but what He doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, Do not let your hearts be troubled…

  • Suck it up!
  • You can do it!
  • It’ll be fine!
  • Believe in yourself!
  • You got this!

When our hearts are troubled. When the future is unknown. When the path is confusing. When the plans are unclear.

Believe God!

Not yourself. Not your strengths. Not your gifting, talent, organizational skills, educational background, charisma, charm, or cash.

Just, God. Believe God about what He says about both Himself, and His promises to you.

The only thing we can trust in a changing world of unknowns, is a God who is unchanging, and who makes Himself known.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].

– James 1:17 AMP

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

– Romans 1:20 NLT

As Jesus told His disciples, the only remedy for a troubled heart is to believe God. I had mentioned this in my Easter post, but it bears repeating because I feel it to my core.

Leaning on anything besides Jesus for meaning or purpose will crush under the weight of our expectations for it to sustain us.

Moving was really hard. But it wasn’t impossible! And it didn’t crush me because I believed God for who He is.

  • He is trustworthy and true (Revelation 21:5)
  • He works all things out for my good (Romans 8:28)
  • His works are wonderful, I know this full well (Psalm 139:14)
  • He sets my feet on solid ground (Psalm 40:2)
  • He goes before me (Deuteronomy 31:8)
  • And He sustains me (Psalm 54:4)
Windsor Airport, after our weekend interview when we knew we had found where God was leading us

Core Strength

When Saul was still king of Israel, he felt so threatened by his successor, David, that he made it his mission to destroy him. 1 Samuel 30 describes a time when David and his men discovered that their city was burned and pillaged, and their wives and children were taken captive. It goes on to say that David’s men wept for their families until they had no more strength to weep. And while we’re being honest, I get it! But not David…

David strengthened himself in the Lord.

– I Samuel 30:6

At some point, we all must decide where we’ll turn and what we’ll do when our hearts are troubled. Do we strengthen ourselves like David did, in the Lord, THE Source of strength? Do we believe God for who He is? Do we believe in His promises?

As the disciple Peter told Jesus in John 6:68,

Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life!

Peter recognized that there really is nowhere else to go in hardship but to Jesus. My prayer is that we’ll all get there too!

Preach to the Choir

One of my favourite Psalms ends with the author literally preaching to himself, and almost nothing could be more relatable. We all do this at some point, don’t we?

Psalm 43:5 NLT says:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again— my Savior and my God!

Other translations use terms like: depressed, downcast, disturbed, overwrought, disquieted, despaired, disheartened, gloomy, dejected, restless, and of course… troubled.

It’s ok to feel these things! God knows all about our brokenness and the broken world that causes pain. He created us. And He created our emotions and feelings too.

But it doesn’t mean He wants us to stay there. Sometimes, we have to do like the psalmist, and preach to ourselves. Put my hope in God! Believe God! Trust God! I will praise Him again… this troubled season won’t last forever.

Exploring the lake the day after after moved

To quote Shakespeare:

All’s Well, That Ends Well

Not to keep anyone guessing, but we did settle nicely into our new life and I wouldn’t change a thing. Not because I haven’t had a troubled heart here too, but because I believe God. And I only want to be where He planned for me. Where else would I go? He has the words of eternal life.

What’s in the Ears

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Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!

Celebrating 50 Blog Posts!

Published on by tinavila204 Comments

Podcast available through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Anchor!

FIFTY, Y’ALL.

I can’t even believe that’s real. I’m pretty proud of this milestone, which is why we’re going behind the scenes for a look on how we got here!

This is likely old news, but my background is in education. When I pursued a history teaching degree, I was sure I had found my life’s calling. Minoring in religious education meant all my favourite things were mixed into one undergraduate degree and I was set for life.

I truly loved each of the high schools at which I taught after earning my degree. Every school had its issues, every class had its drama, but I felt so content in my role. So fulfilled in my calling.

Mrs Avila – my first year teaching, 2009

And then, the move.

When we moved away from Montreal, I gave up a lot. My home, my family, my friends – as well as the seniority I was gaining with my school board. Still, I had no regrets.

It’s amazing how God fills you with His peace when you walk in His will.

I acquired my Ontario teaching license and was ready for that new classroom any moment now.

Well, it came as quite a surprise when I was without a teaching opportunity at all. Ontario’s teaching market was even more competitive than Quebec’s. So despite my modest seniority and the teaching experience I brought with me, I just couldn’t get my foot in the door. Nothing. Not a bite.

So I gave it up. That so-called calling was left to die.

I quickly moved on as life got busy settling into our new church, raising kids, and a part-time job I’ve been doing from home ever since.

Until two years ago when I felt a longing for more.

Sure, I missed having students, the structure of teaching, the exchange of ideas, the research and study that went into preparing lessons.

But then I realized, it was more than that! I had a restlessness in my spirit about the trajectory of my life and how I was spending my time. I felt aimless and purposeless and empty.

So when our pastor was putting together a study for his doctorate on discernment and the Holy Spirit, I took it as an opportunity to sort through some of this. I came out of the 8-week study with a clearer understanding of the source of my unrest. But also a clearer picture of what I wanted for the next season of my life.

I finally stopped ignoring my desire to continue my education. And although I’ve put a pin in that for now, one day this aging mama is going to do some graduate work in biblical studies or theology or something equally amazing.

I’ve accepted that the high school classroom isn’t for me…

Rather, I’m eager for opportunities to teach from God’s Word. It’s where my greatest passion and interest lies. I already get to do that with some amazing women at our church in a small group setting. Perhaps one day I’ll have opportunities to teach in a more formal capacity after acquiring some formal training.

Until then, starting this blog was the best thing I could have done to satisfy that desire. I couldn’t have predicted what the last two years were going to look like on a large scale. Although it’s hard for me to believe I’ve maintained consistent content throughout, I also can’t imagine what I would’ve done without this creative outlet in the midst of this pandemic.

The blog’s first year was an exercise in finding my voice. I explored all sorts of topics and some were, admittedly, complete rubbish.

Leading into the second year of the blog, I felt the immense gravity of what I was doing and was compelled to go deeper into faith topics exclusively. No doubt this has lost me readership, but I’m learning to be ok with that.

Online, as in life, I don’t feel I have much to offer if I’m not pointing to Jesus. I don’t do this perfectly by any means, just ask my family! But sharing from God’s Word is still my favourite thing. Anything else feels like a waste of your time. And I’m not about doing that!

I’m no authority on any given topic, but I do recognize where God has gifted me, and this has been my most life-giving venture by far.

First photo taken for the blog 2 years go!

Where do blog ideas come from?

The Bible! Reading the scriptures is my favourite spark of inspiration for topics to explore further. God teaches me a lot through His Word, and the teacher in me is continually compelled to pass along my findings.

My prayer, as Paul says in I Corinthians 11:23: that what I receive from the Lord, I would pass on to you… that what I’ve been learning would show up in my writing!

I’m also inspired by books, articles, podcasts, sermons, and songs. Message me for a list of current favourites!

What does the writing process look like?

I wish I had an ingenious formula to unveil here, but for the most part it’s pretty simple and not glamorous at all.

  • I start with a general thesis and come up with a working title to plug into my calendar. (There’s usually a few of these floating around in my drafts which get bumped up in the queue as they get closer to completion.)
  • I do additional research through online articles or biblical commentaries I borrow from our pastor.
  • As ideas formulate, I simply write and write and write! Sometimes just a little at a time, sometimes the entire post gets banged out in one sitting.

What do I hope to accomplish with the blog?

I’m often asked why I haven’t monetized the blog.

The reason is this: Right now, I write from the overflow of my heart. (Luke 6:45) I can’t say what financial income would do to this process. I want nothing more than to bring God glory with this blog and podcast.

So with no one to answer to, and no expectation to profit from it, I’m free. Plain and simple! No one owns me, and I don’t owe anyone a thing.

God speaks to me so loudly through His Word. He’s provided this space where I get to teach, in an unconventional way, the things that bring me life like nothing else.

Perhaps that’ll change someday. For now, I’m content in this. That you are still here is a blessing not lost on me. I’m so grateful and feel so lucky that despite 3 kids, 2 jobs, 1 Bible study, and all the other hats I wear as wife and homemaker, I get to do this.

I get to talk about Jesus and tell you about how great He is and how much He loves you and what lengths He took to reconcile you to Almighty God.

My screen is blurry with tears as I type this, but thank you for 50 posts. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.

May God bless you and keep you; May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

– Numbers 6:24-26

What’s in the Ears

There’s a zillion songs to choose from, but this one sums up my life pretty well and how I hope it’ll end. This song was also really significant to me as it came out during our first autumn in Leamington 6 years ago. I have the fondest memories of that season and this song. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy!

Thanks again dear reader/listener! I’m curious if any of this was new to you? Drop any questions or comments below or send me a message!

Podcast available through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Anchor!