Tag: pastor

The Holy Mundane

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*Check out the podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!

This is my life. This is the tension in which I live. The desperate desire to live in what scholars refer to as the sacred.

The spaces and places and moments and actions that we believe are dedicated to God and pleasing to Him as holy.

On my ideal day, this is what sacred or holy looks like:

  • Bible reading
  • blog research
  • blog writing
  • Bible study prep
  • leading Bible studies
  • listening to podcasts or sermons
  • listening to worship music
  • prayer or meditation
  • attending church with my people

Basically, a dream day!

And then, lurking in the corner as a constant pull and vying for my attention is the mundane. Or what scholars refer to as the secular.

The average secular day looks like this:

  • feed kids multiple times in the day
  • errands with kids
  • chauffeuring kids to school, extracurriculars, and various activities
  • make all the meals
  • laundry, laundry, laundry!
  • work calls and emails

Cheers to the secular.

Sacred splash pad

I hope that sharing my own experience, and how I’m learning to manage this tension will be a blessing to you in your own journey.

I recently read The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer, and he says this:

These secular tasks we often do reluctantly and with many misgivings, often apologizing to God for what we consider a waste of time and strength. The upshot of this is that we are uneasy most of the time. We go about our common tasks with a feeling of deep frustration, telling ourselves reflectively that there’s a better day coming when we will shake off this earthly shell and be bothered no more with the affairs of this world.

– A. W. Tozer

Friends, I can’t begin to express how deeply this resonated.

It’s not specifically about apologizing to God for not spending more time in sacred activities.

But I’m sure on a subconscious level, that I believe I’m somehow more pleasing to God, that my time is better spent, that I best fulfill my purpose, or that I am more worthy of His love when I toil away at my sacred passions.

Perhaps you’re like me and you grow resentful of time spent away from the things that make you feel closer to God. When really, He never meant for there to be a difference! On the contrary, He has always intended to meet us everywhere!

Sacred ball park day

As we navigate the tension between sacred and secular, we could not find a better model than Jesus for the best outlook.

By the end of Jesus’ life on earth — when all was said and done, and He ascended to the Father in Heaven, God accepted the offering of His life in its entirety.

Friends, please understand this with me, because it was truly a game-changer in how I view my own mundane, secular life.

God didn’t make a distinction between sacred or secular, between holy and mundane. In fact, in John 8:29, Jesus Himself said, I always do what pleases the Father.

If that was truly the case…

…then there’s no ranking of tasks, nor hierarchy of holiness!

All that Jesus did brought glory to God. And this was made possible because His whole life was dedicated to God’s glory. He didn’t engage in certain sacred activities with the subconscious thought that they were holier than others and therefore distinct in some way. The mundane, secular activities were therefore holy as well. All of it dedicated to God.

The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:31, that whatever you do – even eating and drinking! Do all of it for the glory of God.

Nothing is off limits. It’s all for Him! Every mundane task, even those we don’t like. No, especially those we hate! – They can be sacred acts of worship to God when we do them for His glory.

Sacred ice cream treat

Here’s another way to look at it:

In the Old Testament, the sacred place was the tabernacle, and later the temple, where God would meet with His people. The shekinah glory of God — the physical manifestation of God’s presence on earth, could only be seen and experienced in the sacred space: The Holy of Holies. The centre of the temple, where only the high priest could enter.

Then, John 1:14 says, The Word (Jesus) became flesh and dwelt among us. The original language for dwelt refers to setting up a tabernacle.

Friends, this means that Jesus Himself became the Holy of Holies on earth. His incarnation was the sacred space to meet with God. So when we walk with Jesus, and His Spirit indwells us, our whole lives are that sacred space too!

We no longer need to qualify for the priesthood to enter a sacred temple to meet with God. Even a religious establishment is not seen as more holy than your own kitchen or car.

Let’s go a step further

If the birth of The Church took place in the upper room of a house where Jesus’ followers were huddled together and waiting for what only God knew, then why not your upper room?

God filled that room, filled that space, filled their lives with the very sacred and Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead.

It was a mundane, secular upper room. But it became holy ground when God showed up. And those ordinary people became sacred vessels of God’s Spirit. The holy mundane.

Sacred skate park

The Aggressive Faith

For us to realize this truth in our own lives, we have to be INTENTIONAL about how we view our mundane tasks. This calls for what Tozer refers to as aggressive faith:

We must offer all our acts to God and believe that He accepts them. Then hold firmly to that position and keep insisting that every act of every hour of the day and night be included in the transaction. Keep reminding God in our times of private prayer that we mean every act for His glory…. Believe that God is in all our simple deeds and learn to find Him there.

Friends, there’s nothing special about a holy task. Rather it’s that it is done to glorify a Holy God. So even reading the same stupid dinosaur book to my daughter, or playing yet another round of Guess in 10 with my boys can be holy. Because I do it for God’s glory.

  • I wipe noses for God’s glory.
  • I cut up apples for God’s glory.
  • I fold laundry for God’s glory.
  • I’m awoken in the middle of the night for God’s glory.
  • I break up fights for God’s glory.
  • I prepare meals for God’s glory.
  • I write an email for God’s glory.
  • I correct behaviour for God’s glory.

Because whatever I do, whether in word or action, I can do it all for God’s glory.

– Colossians 3:17 (my edits)
Sacred wonderment at God’s creation…
So what’s the difference?

I close with a final punch from Tozer

It is not what you do that determines whether your work is sacred or secular, it is the why you do it.

The motive is everything…. So as you perform your never so simple task, you will hear the voice of angels saying, “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of His glory.”

What’s in the Ears

This is definitely not a worship song, but it’s a favourite. A classic from 1972 and actually quite sad! But it’s got a happy tune with a catchy beat and my family loves dancing to it. So for us, it’s sacred. And I guess that’s the whole point.

Do you view your own mundane, secular life as holy? Do you see it as sacred to God, for His glory? Please share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message.

If this spoke to you, share it!

*Check out the podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!

Youth Ministry, We Bid You Adieu

Published on by tinavila202 Comments

A pastor wife’s farewell to 13 years of youth ministry

*Click HERE for the podcast on Spotify; or HERE on the Anchor app!

It was the summer of 2008 when my family embarked on our first and only trip to Greece (so far). My husband, Xavier, was still my boyfriend at the time, and leaving him behind for three weeks was the longest we had ever been apart.

I set off for the motherland with my parents, two brothers, and countless calling cards. Travelling internationally in 2008 meant unlikely access to unreliable internet and no smart phones for us to keep in touch.

Me + my two brothers in Athens

So international calling cards, Greek island pay phones, and a 7-hour time difference was the only recipe we had for successful connection during my stay in Greece.

I know what you’re thinking, and yes, we were as cool as we looked.

Greece was, as you’d expect, an absolute dream.

We spent two weeks on the home island of my Destounis family – my dad’s side. We visited the home in which my grandfather grew up in the 1930s during Nazi occupation. His sister still lives there, and was gracious enough to feed us and show us around the olive grove that still surrounds the family home.

From the roof top overlooking the olive grove of my grandfather’s childhood home in Kefalonia. My great-aunt and her husband maintain it now.

We visited cousins in Athens who took us off the beaten path of tourists and travellers to rooftop restaurants overlooking the Parthenon and other ancient landmarks, as you do when in Greece.

Rooftop bar overlooking the Parthenon. “When in Greece…”

Like I said, a freakin’ dream.

Meanwhile, back in Montreal…

My boyfriend (now husband) had been making plans to leave for Nova Scotia to enrol in a flight school there! He saved his money, had a few flying hours logged with an instructor in Montreal, and was excited to embark on this new career path.

He spent the summer as a youth intern at our church. And although he enjoyed the experience, we both felt pretty settled about his new journey to the pilot career he had always dreamt of.

One of our first youth leadership teams! Can you find us in the crowd?

When God has other plans

Between beach hopping and Greek frappé coffees, I would call my now-husband with the calling cards we had purchased for the trip. We missed each other terribly. And I wondered how in the world we’d manage being separated for months at a time when he’d go to flight school on the east coast, and I to McGill University in Montreal to complete my teaching degree.

During one of our long distance calls, Xavier shared some big news: he had been offered the permanent position of youth pastor at our church.

This came as a surprise to both of us! We needed to take some time to pray into God’s will for this ministry opportunity, and I just couldn’t believe that I was halfway across the world when this game-changer was dropped in his lap.

But the space between us was good. The time apart was critical. We were able to bring this pastoring opportunity before the Lord as individuals with clear minds, and come together – over our next long distance, muffled phone call, to discover that God had been gracious to bring us both to the same place, and on the same page… despite the thousands of miles that separated us geographically.

When a surprise open door leads to your calling

Xavier and I both felt so much peace about him accepting this role and changing our plans for the future. We were excited about this new opportunity to minister to the youth of our church. It felt so right, and we were so grateful to God for opening this door.

Xavier started the new position of Youth Pastor in the fall of 2008 and asked me to marry him shortly after. We were married in the summer of 2009, a year after my trip to Greece and the calling card phone calls that changed it all.

We celebrated 12 years of marriage this year! Which means Xavier has been a youth pastor for longer than he’s been my husband.

After 7 years of youth ministry at our home church, we had lived in two homes, had two boys, and lots of teens walk through our doors and into our hearts.

However, God was doing a new thing, and a new opportunity presented itself to our family as we stepped out in faith to a town called Leamington and a church called Meadow Brook.

Our last Sunday at Westview Bible Church in Montreal

Another open door, a new church, a new town, a new place to call “home”

We moved to Leamington six years ago when Xavier accepted a position as the Youth and Worship Pastor at Meadow Brook. There have been many highs, many lows, but God’s steadfast love and faithfulness to us unmistakably through it all.

Walking to our first youth night at MB: Baseball practice for church league baseball!

I think it’s a very good thing that God doesn’t warn us of all our hardships in advance, or we may not step into the spaces He calls us to. For those of you who follow me on social media, you might assume my highlight reel is for a journey from mountaintop to mountaintop. But no one can jump that high. Sometimes you have to go through the valley to get there. And let me tell you, there certainly have been valleys.

I’m not trying to be cryptic or overly dramatic, just honest and candid. Hardship is part of life! We all go through something that shapes us. Hopefully, it’s for the better.

The last six years of youth ministry for Xavier at Meadow Brook have been beautiful to watch.

It’s been a privilege to be in the front row of his growth in leadership and confidence. To pour into teens who are in hard situations… pointing them to Jesus, speaking truth, speaking wisdom, speaking encouragement. He does so much good behind the scenes and under the radar that only God knows. And if you know Xavier, you know that’s exactly how he likes it.

Speaking to the youth with our eldest joining in

So as we turn a corner and close our chapter of youth ministry, I’m finding it to be a bittersweet adieu. Seeing how effortlessly Xavier connects with teens and they with him… it makes my heart ache to wonder how their needs will be met going forward.

Thankfully, God knows. He’s got that covered, and we get to move on to a new thing, knowing He sees them and provides exactly what they need too.

Behind the scenes (our basement office) of recording/producing/streaming our Sundays services during Covid lockdown. He occupied this space for very many long hours over several months.

We’re not leaving ministry, we’re not even leaving our beloved church! But a new role for a man who’s proven faithful with little, and can now be trusted with more. (Luke 16:10)

Who knows, maybe we’ll even take a trip to Greece to commemorate the occasion.

Not in Greece. Still very happy.

What’s in the Ears

*Click HERE for the podcast on Spotify; or HERE on the Anchor App!

Was any part of our journey new to you? Based on what’s been shared, can you relate to anything we’ve been through? Let me know by sending me a message or comment below!

Tree Planting

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My paternal grandfather is 90 years young as I write this. He’s been through a lot, as is expected at that age. But he’s tough as nails, and has hardly slowed down. He and my grandmother live in their 3-bedroom home, and still maintain it impeccably, inside and out.

Taken at my grandparents’ home on last time I saw them, December 2019.

From the generation that lived through World War II, followed by mass emigration from Europe to North America, my grandparents faced all the ups and downs that come with post-war immigrant life.

The pair only met on this side of the pond as fate would have it (or God’s will?), when they found employment at the same little bakery in downtown Montreal’s Park Extension.

Engagement photo, 1957

They fell in love, got married, had a couple of kids, started a couple of businesses, and unfortunately lived through more tragedy than any parent should when their second son took his life as a teenager, leaving my own dad as an only child.

The years that followed were met with their own type of adversity since Greek-speaking grief counselling services weren’t exactly in abundant supply in Montreal in the 1970s.

Fast forward 40+ years…

…and my grandfather is in the twilight of his life. Because of Covid and a 10-hour drive between us, I haven’t seen him as often as I would like in recent years. But I’m told he’s in a very reflective state as of late.

He’s pondering life’s deep questions… Tying up loose ends of material possessions and family heirlooms… I guess you’d call that getting his affairs in order.

So what does all this have to do with our post titled, Tree Planting?

Me with my brother, grandfather, and a zucchini so big it’d probably win a prize at a country fair.

Well for as long as I can remember, my grandfather’s garden has been his pride and joy. In the spring, summer, and autumn months, he spends his days outdoors cultivating, pruning, tilling, grafting, nurturing, and harvesting a wide variety of produce.

Besides the more common cukes and tomatoes that are grown in this corner of the world, my grandfather – having the greenest of green thumbs – has successfully grown produce thought to be too exotic to survive Montreal’s climate.

Just a couple of Greek kids and a child-size zucchini .

Growing up, my family was always the happy recipient of the fruit of my grandfather’s labour.

Literal fruit, like cherries from his cherry tree, peaches from his peach tree, as well as lemons and limes, plums and apricots, which my own children have also enjoyed.

His secret? The man starts planting indoors where the temperature can be regulated and the roots strengthened. Once the tree is strong enough to be transplanted outdoors, he attentively waters and prunes it during the warm months.

When the temperatures start to drop, he literally digs up half of the tree and buries it into the ground as a way to hibernate through the subzero temperatures of Montreal’s harsh winters.

I personally find this to be absolutely WILD. Even before the days of Google, he was never much of a reader. He never finished elementary school (no thanks to the Nazi invasion of his Greek island home, Kefalonia), so I really can’t imagine any scenario where he would have researched this!

So if you’re looking for the secret to tropical fruit growth – look no further!

My boys and their great-grandparents with the dining room lemon tree.

To Never Enjoy the Fruit of Your Labour

As I mentioned, I haven’t seen my grandparents since before Covid. But even through all the hardship that this past year (and now over a year!) has delivered at his age, my grandfather has this crazy notion that he’s going to plant yet another fruit tree.

  • At 90 years old
  • Whilst juggling several health problems and complications
  • Limited mobility
  • Chronic pain
  • Harsh climate
  • Did I mention 90 years old?

The man has decided to plant another fruit tree.

Folks, I tell you this because it was the life lesson that felt like the ultimately wake up call to me. If we were sitting (masked)face to (masked)face at a safe 6 ft apart just visiting and sharing life, I’d be waving my arms around like the dramatic Greek I am and shouting this next part…

All CAPS will have to do:

HE WILL NEVER EAT FRUIT FROM THIS TREE.
HE WILL NEVER SIT UNDER ITS BRANCHES, NOR WILL HE ENJOY THE SHADE OF ITS LEAVES.

He’s planting this tree for whoever will live in his home next. For the future owners of his home. For the next generation. Without any payback, reward, or personal gain.

I didn’t know this when I first started working on this post, but there’s actually an old Greek proverb that says:

This post isn’t overly spiritual or biblical, but I think there’s a lot to be learnt from regular life and experiences too.

What if we all approached life this way? What if we made life decisions that didn’t necessarily have a direct positive impact on our own wellbeing? What if we just did something for someone else without expecting something in return?

To be clear, I’m very much NOT good at this. Look at this post as a way to keep me accountable since I’m putting it out there and you’re actually reading it now and there’s no turning back.

We’re just not naturally inclined to do something for others that doesn’t benefit us in return.

In the wise words of Joey Tribbiani:

When I reach the twilight of my own life, I want to be known for that too! For the selfless good deeds. For inexplicable kindness. For generosity that defies logic. For planting trees I’ll never get to rest under.

What about you?

There’s lots to work on, and I have a ways to go. But let’s not stay in the condemnation of all the things we’re not getting right, or the goals we fall short of.

As a final thought:

(because I love my Bible)

The Apostle Paul shared some inspiring closing remarks to his young protégé, Timothy, a young up-and-comer in faith and church leadership.

In this letter, Paul encourages Timothy to continue in what he had learnt from his mother and grandmother (since family legacy is important!). He then ends with a reminder that the wisdom of his matriarchs is based on the Word of God!

Because…

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

– II Timothy 3:16-17

The balance of this important reminder really resonated with me. We can be inspired by those around us doing a good work…

Example: don’t even get me started on my grandmother! She’s the most selfless, servant-hearted person I’ve ever met.

But we anchor it ALL to the inspiring words of scripture that God uses to prepare and equip His people to actually DO the good!

One last photo because look how happy they are! (Taken 2 years ago – one of my last Montreal visits, May 2019.)

What’s in the Ears

This song is about prayer, but it’s also about the legacy of faith we inherit from loved ones, and pass on to others. It always moves me to tears. Here are the lyrics!

Thanks for reading along today! Writing about my grandfather was emotional but special too. So I’d love to hear your own inspiring or special family stories! Send me a message or comment below!

First Impressions

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They can be a lot of pressure! What comes to mind, is an opportunity my husband and I had six years ago to make a good first impression with potentially life-changing results.

We had been interviewing at various churches across North America in search of a new ministry opportunity. When one church in Southern Ontario invited us for a two-day visit including a formal interview and to meet some church leaders and the staff.

Quaint Windsor airport. Heading back to Montreal after our interview!

I remember the anticipation leading up to the interview as we took time to prepare, dream, pray, and freak out! Ok fine, I probably did the freaking out. My husband was calm, cool, and ready. Which is a good thing too, because he was doing 99% of the interview.

Besides the anticipated interview questions, I couldn’t help but consider how I might be perceived.

I knew all about that stereotype of a pastor wife vibe. I also knew I didn’t check all the boxes.

  • Love Jesus ✔️ (but I’m not great at trusting and obeying Him)
  • Love others ✔️ (but reeeeeeeally not as well I should)
  • Read my Bible ✔️ (but I find parts of it boring… yes, even me, the one obsessed with the Scriptures)
  • Pray everyday ✔️ (do drowsy bedtime prayers count?)
  • Listen exclusively to worship music (yeah, no… please don’t ask for my Spotify history)
  • Never cuss (define never…. damn it! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?)
  • Passion for children and youth (umm sorry husband, you might not get the job and it’s all my fault)

It was so stressful to think about what kind of first impression I’d be giving during those first encounters.

Well, spoiler alert: I didn’t blow it. My husband landed the gig! And it was 6 years ago this past week, since that whirlwind weekend of first impressions.

Why are first impressions such a big deal? What is it about being asked to describe ourselves that makes us want to run for the hills instead?

Whether it’s:

  • a blind date
  • job interview
  • first day of school
  • first day on the job
  • meeting the in laws
  • or a small group Bible study…

The intense pressure we feel to project the best possible version of ourselves is truly palpable.

Hi, I’m God.

I’m willing to bet He did not feel the pressure, but in the book of Exodus, we find one of the very first times God describes Himself in Scripture. How cool is that?!

Let’s check it out!

5 Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him [Moses]; and He called out His own name, Yahweh. 6 “Yahweh! The LORD!
    The God of grace and mercy!
I am slow to anger
    and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
7 I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.
    I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.
But I do not excuse the guilty.
    I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;
the entire family is affected—
    even children in the third and fourth generations.”

– Exodus 34:5-7

Honestly, it gives me chills just thinking about it. After an already wild start for humanity, God’s like: “Ok, this is it y’all. Here’s a little about me and what I’m all about.”

It’s been said, if you want to know what God’s like, just look at Jesus. But I would argue that God had been revealing Himself to His people, and trying to make Himself known and understood long before Christ walked the earth.

So I say, if you want to know what God is like, Exodus 34:5-7 is a great place to start!

Naturally, God starts with His name – actually, names!

Yahweh: The earliest recorded name of God, spelled YHWH in Hebrew. The name in itself is considered so sacred and holy it couldn’t even be uttered! Yahweh means “He who brings whatever exists into being”.

The LORD: When in all uppercase, it is another name for God. And there is none like Him!

God goes on to describe His character by painting a picture of who He specifically is in relation to His people.

Every facet of God’s character contains these attributes in their fullness. He isn’t one more than another. As James 1:17 puts it, “there is no variation or shadow of turning – nothing deceitful, nothing two-faced or fickle.”

Even though God is fully and completely all these characteristics, I love that He starts with grace. It’s a lesson in my own life to extend it for others and to receive it for myself.

Grace is receiving goodness from God, which we do not deserve and could do nothing to earn. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Mercy is God withholding punishment we deserve and extending pardon and forgiveness instead. (Deuteronomy 4:31)

Being slow to anger has to do with God’s patience and delay in displaying His wrath against sin. Also related to His long-suffering and how He patiently endures our offences and rebellion against Him. (Psalm 103:8)

Unfailing love is SO hard for us to get our minds around because we cannot produce a love that is so unconditional or steadfast, but God’s love really is! (Romans 5:8)

Faithfulness: This scripture says it best, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

How are these characteristics manifested? FORGIVENESS!

God forgives iniquity, rebellion, and sin… to a thousand generations! (Deuteronomy 7:9)

That’s really good news!

But we can’t fully appreciate how good that news really is unless we read the whole of verse 7. Sorry y’all.

We’d rather ignore the reality of 7b, and live on the good graces of a God who extends unfailing love to a thousand generations.

But friends,

…what would have been the point of Jesus’ death, then?

We cheapen His sacrifice when we downplay our sin and its consequences!

The following paints a sobering picture:

“We’re not really surprised that God has redeemed us. Somewhere deep inside, in the secret chambers of our hearts we harbour the notion that God owes us His mercy. Heaven would not be quite the same if we were excluded from it. We know that we are sinners, but we’re surely not as bad as we could be. There are enough redeeming features to our personalities that if God is really just, He will include us in salvation. What amazes us is justice, not grace.”

– R. C. Sproul

Justice has to be served. We’d expect that from an earthly court with a human judge! So of course a God of justice has to punish the guilty, or else He wouldn’t be true to Himself.

However, and this is a big HOWEVER! If that’s where we stop, then there’s not much good about the Good News, is there?

It’s only in understanding that Jesus took on God’s wrath against our own sin, in our place, that we find the very best ending to ANY story.

Faith in Jesus means that we are always under the banner of mercy, not judgement. And God’s default for us is mercy every time to a thousand generations.

I’m reminded that mercy TRIUMPHS or REJOICES over judgement (James 2:13). Knowing God errs on the side of mercy means the Good News isn’t just good, it’s life-changing!

So whether it’s an opportunity to make a good first impression, as in our experience; or a chance to get to know the unfailing love of God – those initial interactions truly matter because they have a lasting impact on how any relationship will unfold.

What’s in the Ears

Y’all this song! A reminder that it’s His kindness that leads us to change (repent). He’s so good.

I felt so compelled to share about the richness of this passage, but they don’t call them hard truths for nothing! Can you share your own thoughts on it with me? Send me a message or comment below!