Tag: montreal

Troubled

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In the spring of 2015, my husband began to look for work outside of our home province of Quebec.

Since Montreal is a big city with plenty of opportunities, most of our friends and family established their lives in basically the same parts of the city where they grew up. And we thought we would too!

But sensing God’s call to explore opportunities elsewhere, we polished up the resumés and scoped out the Help Wanted sites for hiring youth pastors across the country.

When we put our house on the market (but not the children)

As a sidebar, I also happened to be giving up the six years of seniority I had accrued with my local school board teaching History and English at the secondary level. I was sure I’d teach with that board until retirement. Unfortunately, I was just 30 years shy of that goal.

Turns out the anticipation of moving was really only exciting to me in theory. When it got down to it, my heart was troubled.

Life, as I knew it was about to change forever. Apart from my little family, the solid pillars of my life – work and community – were crumbling around me faster than I could grasp them and bottle them up.

I want to tell you that it was an exciting time. I want to say that we were super pumped and eager for what would come next. And although there were many days when that was certainly true, it was often scary too. And in quiet moments, I was troubled.

Waiting for our flight to Leamington for a week of candidating

I didn’t actually want things to change. I didn’t want to uproot my family. I didn’t want to meet new people. I didn’t want to find a new church. Or make new friends. Or live in a new house, find a new job, or new community.

As much as I love surprises and adventure and exploring, I didn’t want those things at the expense of giving up the good things I already had: a close knit family that lived nearby, lifelong friends who knew me to my core…

It’s just easier to move on when your current reality sucks. But mine didn’t suck! I was happy. And I was in no rush to change a thing.

That’s why I think it’s possible to hold those things in tension: peace about change, yet heartache over loss too.

Fortunately, God knows better and He was already putting the wheels in motion to make those changes in our lives before we even recognized our need for them.

Our first youth group event: baseball practice!

What to do with a troubled heart

I’m reminded of Jesus’ disciples in John 14. Like me, the disciples were blissfully content with the status quo and had no interest in drastic changes that would alter their lives in any way.

So when Jesus warns His disciples that He would be leaving them soon and that they could not follow after Him, they were clearly troubled by the news. So Jesus tells them:

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe God!

– John 14:1

What strikes me about this is not so much what Jesus says, but what He doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, Do not let your hearts be troubled…

  • Suck it up!
  • You can do it!
  • It’ll be fine!
  • Believe in yourself!
  • You got this!

When our hearts are troubled. When the future is unknown. When the path is confusing. When the plans are unclear.

Believe God!

Not yourself. Not your strengths. Not your gifting, talent, organizational skills, educational background, charisma, charm, or cash.

Just, God. Believe God about what He says about both Himself, and His promises to you.

The only thing we can trust in a changing world of unknowns, is a God who is unchanging, and who makes Himself known.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].

– James 1:17 AMP

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

– Romans 1:20 NLT

As Jesus told His disciples, the only remedy for a troubled heart is to believe God. I had mentioned this in my Easter post, but it bears repeating because I feel it to my core.

Leaning on anything besides Jesus for meaning or purpose will crush under the weight of our expectations for it to sustain us.

Moving was really hard. But it wasn’t impossible! And it didn’t crush me because I believed God for who He is.

  • He is trustworthy and true (Revelation 21:5)
  • He works all things out for my good (Romans 8:28)
  • His works are wonderful, I know this full well (Psalm 139:14)
  • He sets my feet on solid ground (Psalm 40:2)
  • He goes before me (Deuteronomy 31:8)
  • And He sustains me (Psalm 54:4)
Windsor Airport, after our weekend interview when we knew we had found where God was leading us

Core Strength

When Saul was still king of Israel, he felt so threatened by his successor, David, that he made it his mission to destroy him. 1 Samuel 30 describes a time when David and his men discovered that their city was burned and pillaged, and their wives and children were taken captive. It goes on to say that David’s men wept for their families until they had no more strength to weep. And while we’re being honest, I get it! But not David…

David strengthened himself in the Lord.

– I Samuel 30:6

At some point, we all must decide where we’ll turn and what we’ll do when our hearts are troubled. Do we strengthen ourselves like David did, in the Lord, THE Source of strength? Do we believe God for who He is? Do we believe in His promises?

As the disciple Peter told Jesus in John 6:68,

Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life!

Peter recognized that there really is nowhere else to go in hardship but to Jesus. My prayer is that we’ll all get there too!

Preach to the Choir

One of my favourite Psalms ends with the author literally preaching to himself, and almost nothing could be more relatable. We all do this at some point, don’t we?

Psalm 43:5 NLT says:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again— my Savior and my God!

Other translations use terms like: depressed, downcast, disturbed, overwrought, disquieted, despaired, disheartened, gloomy, dejected, restless, and of course… troubled.

It’s ok to feel these things! God knows all about our brokenness and the broken world that causes pain. He created us. And He created our emotions and feelings too.

But it doesn’t mean He wants us to stay there. Sometimes, we have to do like the psalmist, and preach to ourselves. Put my hope in God! Believe God! Trust God! I will praise Him again… this troubled season won’t last forever.

Exploring the lake the day after after moved

To quote Shakespeare:

All’s Well, That Ends Well

Not to keep anyone guessing, but we did settle nicely into our new life and I wouldn’t change a thing. Not because I haven’t had a troubled heart here too, but because I believe God. And I only want to be where He planned for me. Where else would I go? He has the words of eternal life.

What’s in the Ears

Join the conversation! Comment below, send me a message, and even share this with a friend!

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Celebrating 50 Blog Posts!

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FIFTY, Y’ALL.

I can’t even believe that’s real. I’m pretty proud of this milestone, which is why we’re going behind the scenes for a look on how we got here!

This is likely old news, but my background is in education. When I pursued a history teaching degree, I was sure I had found my life’s calling. Minoring in religious education meant all my favourite things were mixed into one undergraduate degree and I was set for life.

I truly loved each of the high schools at which I taught after earning my degree. Every school had its issues, every class had its drama, but I felt so content in my role. So fulfilled in my calling.

Mrs Avila – my first year teaching, 2009

And then, the move.

When we moved away from Montreal, I gave up a lot. My home, my family, my friends – as well as the seniority I was gaining with my school board. Still, I had no regrets.

It’s amazing how God fills you with His peace when you walk in His will.

I acquired my Ontario teaching license and was ready for that new classroom any moment now.

Well, it came as quite a surprise when I was without a teaching opportunity at all. Ontario’s teaching market was even more competitive than Quebec’s. So despite my modest seniority and the teaching experience I brought with me, I just couldn’t get my foot in the door. Nothing. Not a bite.

So I gave it up. That so-called calling was left to die.

I quickly moved on as life got busy settling into our new church, raising kids, and a part-time job I’ve been doing from home ever since.

Until two years ago when I felt a longing for more.

Sure, I missed having students, the structure of teaching, the exchange of ideas, the research and study that went into preparing lessons.

But then I realized, it was more than that! I had a restlessness in my spirit about the trajectory of my life and how I was spending my time. I felt aimless and purposeless and empty.

So when our pastor was putting together a study for his doctorate on discernment and the Holy Spirit, I took it as an opportunity to sort through some of this. I came out of the 8-week study with a clearer understanding of the source of my unrest. But also a clearer picture of what I wanted for the next season of my life.

I finally stopped ignoring my desire to continue my education. And although I’ve put a pin in that for now, one day this aging mama is going to do some graduate work in biblical studies or theology or something equally amazing.

I’ve accepted that the high school classroom isn’t for me…

Rather, I’m eager for opportunities to teach from God’s Word. It’s where my greatest passion and interest lies. I already get to do that with some amazing women at our church in a small group setting. Perhaps one day I’ll have opportunities to teach in a more formal capacity after acquiring some formal training.

Until then, starting this blog was the best thing I could have done to satisfy that desire. I couldn’t have predicted what the last two years were going to look like on a large scale. Although it’s hard for me to believe I’ve maintained consistent content throughout, I also can’t imagine what I would’ve done without this creative outlet in the midst of this pandemic.

The blog’s first year was an exercise in finding my voice. I explored all sorts of topics and some were, admittedly, complete rubbish.

Leading into the second year of the blog, I felt the immense gravity of what I was doing and was compelled to go deeper into faith topics exclusively. No doubt this has lost me readership, but I’m learning to be ok with that.

Online, as in life, I don’t feel I have much to offer if I’m not pointing to Jesus. I don’t do this perfectly by any means, just ask my family! But sharing from God’s Word is still my favourite thing. Anything else feels like a waste of your time. And I’m not about doing that!

I’m no authority on any given topic, but I do recognize where God has gifted me, and this has been my most life-giving venture by far.

First photo taken for the blog 2 years go!

Where do blog ideas come from?

The Bible! Reading the scriptures is my favourite spark of inspiration for topics to explore further. God teaches me a lot through His Word, and the teacher in me is continually compelled to pass along my findings.

My prayer, as Paul says in I Corinthians 11:23: that what I receive from the Lord, I would pass on to you… that what I’ve been learning would show up in my writing!

I’m also inspired by books, articles, podcasts, sermons, and songs. Message me for a list of current favourites!

What does the writing process look like?

I wish I had an ingenious formula to unveil here, but for the most part it’s pretty simple and not glamorous at all.

  • I start with a general thesis and come up with a working title to plug into my calendar. (There’s usually a few of these floating around in my drafts which get bumped up in the queue as they get closer to completion.)
  • I do additional research through online articles or biblical commentaries I borrow from our pastor.
  • As ideas formulate, I simply write and write and write! Sometimes just a little at a time, sometimes the entire post gets banged out in one sitting.

What do I hope to accomplish with the blog?

I’m often asked why I haven’t monetized the blog.

The reason is this: Right now, I write from the overflow of my heart. (Luke 6:45) I can’t say what financial income would do to this process. I want nothing more than to bring God glory with this blog and podcast.

So with no one to answer to, and no expectation to profit from it, I’m free. Plain and simple! No one owns me, and I don’t owe anyone a thing.

God speaks to me so loudly through His Word. He’s provided this space where I get to teach, in an unconventional way, the things that bring me life like nothing else.

Perhaps that’ll change someday. For now, I’m content in this. That you are still here is a blessing not lost on me. I’m so grateful and feel so lucky that despite 3 kids, 2 jobs, 1 Bible study, and all the other hats I wear as wife and homemaker, I get to do this.

I get to talk about Jesus and tell you about how great He is and how much He loves you and what lengths He took to reconcile you to Almighty God.

My screen is blurry with tears as I type this, but thank you for 50 posts. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.

May God bless you and keep you; May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

– Numbers 6:24-26

What’s in the Ears

There’s a zillion songs to choose from, but this one sums up my life pretty well and how I hope it’ll end. This song was also really significant to me as it came out during our first autumn in Leamington 6 years ago. I have the fondest memories of that season and this song. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy!

Thanks again dear reader/listener! I’m curious if any of this was new to you? Drop any questions or comments below or send me a message!

Podcast available through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Anchor!

But I Failed, Again

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Before Twitter and Instagram were born, and when Facebook was still in its infancy, I embarked on my first semester at McGill University.

I was a fresh young thing, with a spring in my step and a dream in my heart. And, like most sheltered young adult Type A personalities – I was determined, ambitious, and painfully naive.

Y’all, this was snapped with an actual camera because our phones were used for only phone calls back then. Still paid for text messages by the letter, and no smart phones in sight. Hair was permed. Life. Was. Good.

After getting excellent grades in my high school and CEGEP (in Quebec, similar to a junior college) history courses, I was certain I’d experience the same level of academic success at McGill.

I enrolled in a Bachelor of Secondary Education, majoring in history and minoring in religious education. It felt like a program tailored specifically for me, as it combined all my favourite things:

  • a study of the past
  • a study of faith
  • all wrapped up in program that equips you to teach them!

Wow, was I in for a rude awakening.

I failed.

I did the one thing you’re not supposed to do if you’re studying to be a history teacher in Canada: I failed my Canadian history course. Just straight bombed it. It was ugly. It was embarrassing, humiliating, confusing, you name it – I felt it.

Spoiler: I did graduate.

Have you ever hit roadblocks whilst travelling on the road of life to your destiny, that caused you to question reality and everything that matters? I sure did!

I was very disillusioned with what I thought was my purpose, my calling, my destiny, my gifting… The one thing you long to discover you were born to do. That contribution only you can make to this world in your own unique way… Failure was devastating. Failure felt like the end of my road.

Some good news!

Don’t worry, Tina! They offer a supplemental exam, so credits could be made up by just retaking the exam!

Well, that’s what I did. I studied my ass off, and wrote my brains out on that supplemental. I was back in the game!

Except I really, really wasn’t. To my shock and horror…

I failed, again.

I bombed the supplemental. Which, by the way, was supposed to be even easier than the final for the original class.

As any level-headed person would, I began to question my very existence and purpose in life. My entire future flashed before my eyes as I wondered,

How can I be a history teacher if I can’t even pass a freshman level history course? …multiple times?!

I mean, it was a fair question.

To add insult to injury, I discovered that my initial grade would still appear on my transcript, and both would be calculated into my GPA. Fantastic.

McGill University convocation, May 2009.

Well, third time’s the charm. By the time I graduated from McGill, I had 3 attempts on that blasted Canadian history course and my poor GPA had all the blows to show for it.

Fast forward six years

I had taught at several Montreal schools, gotten hitched, and popped out a couple of kids. I’ll never understand the term popped out when referring to childbirth, as it is anything but!

I digress…

We were making plans to move to Leamington, and that meant transferring my Quebec teaching credentials to Ontario. Easy peasy! I’d be on the road to molding the young minds of Essex County in no time.

Except, nope!

We were married just a few weeks post-graduation!

You guessed it… I failed. Again.

Ok fine, maybe I’m being dramatic. I didn’t actually fail because it’s just a matter of paying to be certified, which I did, and I am. But I just couldn’t land a job!

I wasn’t invited for an interview. Didn’t even get called to fill in for the day.

I was just a resumé sitting in an inbox collecting cyber dust waiting to be noticed. To this day, I haven’t taught even one period of high school history, English, or religion. The trinity of my passions. (Still being dramatic…)

This was snapped shortly after moving to Leamington. Just waiting for callbacks to interview for a teaching gig. Never got one.

When failure is a catalyst

Well you know what? If life had gone according to my plan…

I wouldn’t have acquired the tenacity or determination that can only develop after you’re knocked down and resolve to rise and try again.

  • That I learnt after failing my history course.

I wouldn’t have come to appreciate that the most valuable lessons can’t be learnt by taking shortcuts. That the long way is the only way to learn patience, and strengthen your perseverance.

  • That I learnt after failing my supplemental exam.

I wouldn’t have been home with my kids all these years, with enough time on my hands to eventually step out of my comfort zone and start this blog.

  • That I learnt when the door of traditional teaching closed on me six years ago. But it took me awhile to see that one.

I wouldn’t have recognized that God’s ways are in fact higher and better. The type of “teaching” that I get to do on this blog and through Bible studies, are the very things I couldn’t even let my heart hope for. They seemed unattainable to me. Unrealistic. Beyond my reach.

  • That I learnt by looking past my failures and at God instead.

So turns out that failing over and over at that ONE thing I thought was my destiny, was actually God’s way of doing two things:

  1. Shaping me into the person I am today.
    Obviously this person isn’t perfect. And Lord knows I cringe at many things that make me who I am. BUT… I still like what God’s doing in this sinner. And I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learnt through failure.
  2. Shaping my path to draw me closer to Himself and the purposes He had for me all along.
    Maybe I’ll find myself in a classroom again someday. I’m not above that. But it’s just no longer the desire of my heart. Sometimes God closes doors to open others we thought we’d never be good enough for in the first place.
In my classroom (kitchen table) writing lessons (blog posts) to share with anyone willing to read. It’s truly a privilege. (And slight hair upgrade from first photo.)

Three lessons from this failure:

  • God. Is. For. Your. GOOD. If you’re following Him, you can’t lose! Even when you do. Because He is always working things for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
  • God is not at a loss when you fail. We tend to think that we’re in God’s will when we experience success. But what if our failures are a vital part of what God is working in us? Not just in our accomplishments, but in our hearts. (1 Samuel 16:7)
  • Do the next right thing. Hit a dead end? Feeling confused? Is there a Frozen song being quoted here? Maybe. But it ain’t wrong. We don’t get to see the ending from the middle, but we can do the next right thing. Don’t know what that is? Need wisdom? Ask God! He gives it generously to anyone who asks. (James 1:5)

What’s in the Ears

Regardless of what failure we’ve endured, this song is a beautiful reminder that we can always rest in the palm of God’s hand.

Tell me, have you endured failure that has shaped you? To be honest, it was embarrassing to admit to failure here, but I’m glad I did. If you have your own experience to share, I’d love to hear it! Message me or comment below!

Tree Planting

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My paternal grandfather is 90 years young as I write this. He’s been through a lot, as is expected at that age. But he’s tough as nails, and has hardly slowed down. He and my grandmother live in their 3-bedroom home, and still maintain it impeccably, inside and out.

Taken at my grandparents’ home on last time I saw them, December 2019.

From the generation that lived through World War II, followed by mass emigration from Europe to North America, my grandparents faced all the ups and downs that come with post-war immigrant life.

The pair only met on this side of the pond as fate would have it (or God’s will?), when they found employment at the same little bakery in downtown Montreal’s Park Extension.

Engagement photo, 1957

They fell in love, got married, had a couple of kids, started a couple of businesses, and unfortunately lived through more tragedy than any parent should when their second son took his life as a teenager, leaving my own dad as an only child.

The years that followed were met with their own type of adversity since Greek-speaking grief counselling services weren’t exactly in abundant supply in Montreal in the 1970s.

Fast forward 40+ years…

…and my grandfather is in the twilight of his life. Because of Covid and a 10-hour drive between us, I haven’t seen him as often as I would like in recent years. But I’m told he’s in a very reflective state as of late.

He’s pondering life’s deep questions… Tying up loose ends of material possessions and family heirlooms… I guess you’d call that getting his affairs in order.

So what does all this have to do with our post titled, Tree Planting?

Me with my brother, grandfather, and a zucchini so big it’d probably win a prize at a country fair.

Well for as long as I can remember, my grandfather’s garden has been his pride and joy. In the spring, summer, and autumn months, he spends his days outdoors cultivating, pruning, tilling, grafting, nurturing, and harvesting a wide variety of produce.

Besides the more common cukes and tomatoes that are grown in this corner of the world, my grandfather – having the greenest of green thumbs – has successfully grown produce thought to be too exotic to survive Montreal’s climate.

Just a couple of Greek kids and a child-size zucchini .

Growing up, my family was always the happy recipient of the fruit of my grandfather’s labour.

Literal fruit, like cherries from his cherry tree, peaches from his peach tree, as well as lemons and limes, plums and apricots, which my own children have also enjoyed.

His secret? The man starts planting indoors where the temperature can be regulated and the roots strengthened. Once the tree is strong enough to be transplanted outdoors, he attentively waters and prunes it during the warm months.

When the temperatures start to drop, he literally digs up half of the tree and buries it into the ground as a way to hibernate through the subzero temperatures of Montreal’s harsh winters.

I personally find this to be absolutely WILD. Even before the days of Google, he was never much of a reader. He never finished elementary school (no thanks to the Nazi invasion of his Greek island home, Kefalonia), so I really can’t imagine any scenario where he would have researched this!

So if you’re looking for the secret to tropical fruit growth – look no further!

My boys and their great-grandparents with the dining room lemon tree.

To Never Enjoy the Fruit of Your Labour

As I mentioned, I haven’t seen my grandparents since before Covid. But even through all the hardship that this past year (and now over a year!) has delivered at his age, my grandfather has this crazy notion that he’s going to plant yet another fruit tree.

  • At 90 years old
  • Whilst juggling several health problems and complications
  • Limited mobility
  • Chronic pain
  • Harsh climate
  • Did I mention 90 years old?

The man has decided to plant another fruit tree.

Folks, I tell you this because it was the life lesson that felt like the ultimately wake up call to me. If we were sitting (masked)face to (masked)face at a safe 6 ft apart just visiting and sharing life, I’d be waving my arms around like the dramatic Greek I am and shouting this next part…

All CAPS will have to do:

HE WILL NEVER EAT FRUIT FROM THIS TREE.
HE WILL NEVER SIT UNDER ITS BRANCHES, NOR WILL HE ENJOY THE SHADE OF ITS LEAVES.

He’s planting this tree for whoever will live in his home next. For the future owners of his home. For the next generation. Without any payback, reward, or personal gain.

I didn’t know this when I first started working on this post, but there’s actually an old Greek proverb that says:

This post isn’t overly spiritual or biblical, but I think there’s a lot to be learnt from regular life and experiences too.

What if we all approached life this way? What if we made life decisions that didn’t necessarily have a direct positive impact on our own wellbeing? What if we just did something for someone else without expecting something in return?

To be clear, I’m very much NOT good at this. Look at this post as a way to keep me accountable since I’m putting it out there and you’re actually reading it now and there’s no turning back.

We’re just not naturally inclined to do something for others that doesn’t benefit us in return.

In the wise words of Joey Tribbiani:

When I reach the twilight of my own life, I want to be known for that too! For the selfless good deeds. For inexplicable kindness. For generosity that defies logic. For planting trees I’ll never get to rest under.

What about you?

There’s lots to work on, and I have a ways to go. But let’s not stay in the condemnation of all the things we’re not getting right, or the goals we fall short of.

As a final thought:

(because I love my Bible)

The Apostle Paul shared some inspiring closing remarks to his young protégé, Timothy, a young up-and-comer in faith and church leadership.

In this letter, Paul encourages Timothy to continue in what he had learnt from his mother and grandmother (since family legacy is important!). He then ends with a reminder that the wisdom of his matriarchs is based on the Word of God!

Because…

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

– II Timothy 3:16-17

The balance of this important reminder really resonated with me. We can be inspired by those around us doing a good work…

Example: don’t even get me started on my grandmother! She’s the most selfless, servant-hearted person I’ve ever met.

But we anchor it ALL to the inspiring words of scripture that God uses to prepare and equip His people to actually DO the good!

One last photo because look how happy they are! (Taken 2 years ago – one of my last Montreal visits, May 2019.)

What’s in the Ears

This song is about prayer, but it’s also about the legacy of faith we inherit from loved ones, and pass on to others. It always moves me to tears. Here are the lyrics!

Thanks for reading along today! Writing about my grandfather was emotional but special too. So I’d love to hear your own inspiring or special family stories! Send me a message or comment below!

No Parking Zone

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It was a quiet evening in June. I was cleaning up after dinner and my husband was getting our baby boy ready for bed. Life. Was. Goooooood. Though if I’m being honest, I’m sure I didn’t necessarily think so since I’ve been known to over-dramatizing things (not that my husband would EVER confirm this preposterous notion).

I digress…

While cleaning, I felt what can only be described as an earthquake. The entire house shook and rattled. My husband ran into the kitchen holding our son, and we met each other with matching looks of horror and perplexity.

Turns out a car drove full speed into our house. Of course…?

We stepped outside and sure enough, there it was. Half a car out on our lawn, the other half suspended in mid-air through a car-shaped hole in our basement.

So here’s what happened:

  • The car hanging out of our house actually belonged to our neighbour from across the street
  • This neighbour was completely sober
  • She meant to back into her own driveway
  • She realized she was going forward and meant to slam the breaks
  • She slammed the gas pedal even harder instead
  • She had recently lost a dear friend to cancer; her mind was preoccupied
  • Thankfully, she walked away without a scratch
Just your average car-in-a-house scenario.

We had not been living in our home for even a full year when this freak accident took place.

As the damage was assessed and we took inventory of our home, one thing was clear: our lives were spared that day.

For awhile, I was in a state of shock. The thought of what could have been… all the what if’s that run through your head rent-free in the aftermath of any accident… it was scary to think about!

So this is where my head went: Had the accident taken place just a few minutes later, my husband and I would have been sitting on the couch in our usual cozy spots, probably watching the Habs game or a new episode of The Office.

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious…

– M.G.S.

The car rammed through the outer wall of our basement family room punching a 100 lbs window through the other side. That window then flew across the room, landing on a couch where we usually sit. It’s likely that we would have absorbed the force of that window.

Not to overdramatize (because, y’all know that’s not my vibe), but we truly were minutes away from that reality. Thank God that wasn’t the case.

The entire basement had to be renovated, and the exterior of our house refinished as well due to car-sized damage to brick and siding.

Thank you Lord for home insurance.

We used an old door to board up the hole until it could be repaired.

We had only JUST moved into our home less than a year before. We were finally out of boxes and had arranged everything exactly how we wanted it to be. So this surprise reno definitely was not what we wanted, not what we’d planned. It wasn’t well timed, nor did it make sense!

A few months later, it really did turn out lovely and we were so happy with the finished work. The insurance was fair in their appraisals, which made our newly-renovated home a true gift.

First Easy Takeaway: there are a lot of places one could park their vehicle. A neighbour’s basement is most certainly not on one of them.

So what’s the point of all this besides a bit of blockbuster entertainment with a side of shock value?

For awhile, I asked God that very questions. What was the point of that?! Sometimes things in life just happen. I don’t believe God is the cause of all of it, but anything we experience is allowed by God. So why did God allow that?

Well, it took a few more years to see the big picture.

In my last blog post, I shared about a big opportunity my husband had to start a new job, in a new town. So when he was offered a pastoring position at Meadow Brook Church, we knew we had to sell our house because we weren’t about to add a 10-hour commute to our daily lives.

And there it was. Our big picture.

Second Easy Takeaway: If you know anything about real estate (of which I possess nearly zero knowledge), you know that unless there are extreme fluctuations in the market, it’s wise to sit on a piece of real estate for awhile before selling for profit. Unless you’re flipping a fixer-upper, it’s not likely that you’ll turn a huge profit if you try selling within only a few years of buying.

God’s Providence

I find this to be increasingly true:

Those who leave everything in God’s hands, will eventually see God’s hand in everything.

I derive a lot, and I mean SO MUCH comfort in seeing God working in the tiny details of my life. In those little things that seem inconsequential… I KNOW He is doing a work for my good, and His glory.

Our finished home for sale before moving to Leamington!

Our freak accident ended up increasing the value of our home significantly. Less than two years later, we made the life-changing decision to move our family 10 hours away for a new ministry opportunity.

We only lived in our first home for three years when all was said and done. But the ripple effects of that woman driving into our house are still felt every single day of my life.

You see, when we finally decided to move to a new town, we couldn’t have known what a sizeable downpayment would mean to us. Compared to Montreal’s market, the market in our town was laughable six years ago (in case you’re unaware, it’s terrifying today).

Because the house we bought cost significantly less than what we sold for, we were able to drop an entire income (I was teaching then) and take on a mortgage that could be supported by one salary.

It was a big priority for us to have a parent home while our children are young, but making that happen in Montreal felt like an impossibility. I love of all these tiny, but wild details God orchestrated to make this dream come true. I’ve been home with our babes ever since!

Ok yes, so I do complain about #momlife a fair bit, but that’s not the point here! Don’t @ me!

Friend, please hear my heart in this: Sometimes it feels like you’re living under a storm cloud. Like you can’t catch a break. You keep facing set backs, breakdowns, meltdowns, and attacks from the devil that just don’t make sense. Like a car driving into your house?

Sometimes God delivers us from our troubles on our timeline. But sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes He works things out in ways we couldn’t have imagined. Because His ways are not our ways! And as high as the heavens are above the earth, so are His ways higher than ours. (Isaiah 55:9)

What’s really really really cool, is CHOOSING to leave those things in His hands, and then seeing His hand work out all the details… in His time. FOR. HIS. GLORY!

So rather than staring at half a car hanging out your basement and thinking, am I cursed?

Ask instead, God, what are you working out in all this?! He will NOT disappoint. He is faithful and true and He’s always for your good.

What’s in the Ears

This song is too good, and I didn’t mean for this to be so perfectly suited to the topic, but it is. Enjoy!

Have some questions or thoughts to share on any of this? Send me a message or comment below!!

First Impressions

Published on by tinavila201 Comment

They can be a lot of pressure! What comes to mind, is an opportunity my husband and I had six years ago to make a good first impression with potentially life-changing results.

We had been interviewing at various churches across North America in search of a new ministry opportunity. When one church in Southern Ontario invited us for a two-day visit including a formal interview and to meet some church leaders and the staff.

Quaint Windsor airport. Heading back to Montreal after our interview!

I remember the anticipation leading up to the interview as we took time to prepare, dream, pray, and freak out! Ok fine, I probably did the freaking out. My husband was calm, cool, and ready. Which is a good thing too, because he was doing 99% of the interview.

Besides the anticipated interview questions, I couldn’t help but consider how I might be perceived.

I knew all about that stereotype of a pastor wife vibe. I also knew I didn’t check all the boxes.

  • Love Jesus ✔️ (but I’m not great at trusting and obeying Him)
  • Love others ✔️ (but reeeeeeeally not as well I should)
  • Read my Bible ✔️ (but I find parts of it boring… yes, even me, the one obsessed with the Scriptures)
  • Pray everyday ✔️ (do drowsy bedtime prayers count?)
  • Listen exclusively to worship music (yeah, no… please don’t ask for my Spotify history)
  • Never cuss (define never…. damn it! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?)
  • Passion for children and youth (umm sorry husband, you might not get the job and it’s all my fault)

It was so stressful to think about what kind of first impression I’d be giving during those first encounters.

Well, spoiler alert: I didn’t blow it. My husband landed the gig! And it was 6 years ago this past week, since that whirlwind weekend of first impressions.

Why are first impressions such a big deal? What is it about being asked to describe ourselves that makes us want to run for the hills instead?

Whether it’s:

  • a blind date
  • job interview
  • first day of school
  • first day on the job
  • meeting the in laws
  • or a small group Bible study…

The intense pressure we feel to project the best possible version of ourselves is truly palpable.

Hi, I’m God.

I’m willing to bet He did not feel the pressure, but in the book of Exodus, we find one of the very first times God describes Himself in Scripture. How cool is that?!

Let’s check it out!

5 Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him [Moses]; and He called out His own name, Yahweh. 6 “Yahweh! The LORD!
    The God of grace and mercy!
I am slow to anger
    and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
7 I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.
    I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.
But I do not excuse the guilty.
    I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;
the entire family is affected—
    even children in the third and fourth generations.”

– Exodus 34:5-7

Honestly, it gives me chills just thinking about it. After an already wild start for humanity, God’s like: “Ok, this is it y’all. Here’s a little about me and what I’m all about.”

It’s been said, if you want to know what God’s like, just look at Jesus. But I would argue that God had been revealing Himself to His people, and trying to make Himself known and understood long before Christ walked the earth.

So I say, if you want to know what God is like, Exodus 34:5-7 is a great place to start!

Naturally, God starts with His name – actually, names!

Yahweh: The earliest recorded name of God, spelled YHWH in Hebrew. The name in itself is considered so sacred and holy it couldn’t even be uttered! Yahweh means “He who brings whatever exists into being”.

The LORD: When in all uppercase, it is another name for God. And there is none like Him!

God goes on to describe His character by painting a picture of who He specifically is in relation to His people.

Every facet of God’s character contains these attributes in their fullness. He isn’t one more than another. As James 1:17 puts it, “there is no variation or shadow of turning – nothing deceitful, nothing two-faced or fickle.”

Even though God is fully and completely all these characteristics, I love that He starts with grace. It’s a lesson in my own life to extend it for others and to receive it for myself.

Grace is receiving goodness from God, which we do not deserve and could do nothing to earn. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Mercy is God withholding punishment we deserve and extending pardon and forgiveness instead. (Deuteronomy 4:31)

Being slow to anger has to do with God’s patience and delay in displaying His wrath against sin. Also related to His long-suffering and how He patiently endures our offences and rebellion against Him. (Psalm 103:8)

Unfailing love is SO hard for us to get our minds around because we cannot produce a love that is so unconditional or steadfast, but God’s love really is! (Romans 5:8)

Faithfulness: This scripture says it best, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

How are these characteristics manifested? FORGIVENESS!

God forgives iniquity, rebellion, and sin… to a thousand generations! (Deuteronomy 7:9)

That’s really good news!

But we can’t fully appreciate how good that news really is unless we read the whole of verse 7. Sorry y’all.

We’d rather ignore the reality of 7b, and live on the good graces of a God who extends unfailing love to a thousand generations.

But friends,

…what would have been the point of Jesus’ death, then?

We cheapen His sacrifice when we downplay our sin and its consequences!

The following paints a sobering picture:

“We’re not really surprised that God has redeemed us. Somewhere deep inside, in the secret chambers of our hearts we harbour the notion that God owes us His mercy. Heaven would not be quite the same if we were excluded from it. We know that we are sinners, but we’re surely not as bad as we could be. There are enough redeeming features to our personalities that if God is really just, He will include us in salvation. What amazes us is justice, not grace.”

– R. C. Sproul

Justice has to be served. We’d expect that from an earthly court with a human judge! So of course a God of justice has to punish the guilty, or else He wouldn’t be true to Himself.

However, and this is a big HOWEVER! If that’s where we stop, then there’s not much good about the Good News, is there?

It’s only in understanding that Jesus took on God’s wrath against our own sin, in our place, that we find the very best ending to ANY story.

Faith in Jesus means that we are always under the banner of mercy, not judgement. And God’s default for us is mercy every time to a thousand generations.

I’m reminded that mercy TRIUMPHS or REJOICES over judgement (James 2:13). Knowing God errs on the side of mercy means the Good News isn’t just good, it’s life-changing!

So whether it’s an opportunity to make a good first impression, as in our experience; or a chance to get to know the unfailing love of God – those initial interactions truly matter because they have a lasting impact on how any relationship will unfold.

What’s in the Ears

Y’all this song! A reminder that it’s His kindness that leads us to change (repent). He’s so good.

I felt so compelled to share about the richness of this passage, but they don’t call them hard truths for nothing! Can you share your own thoughts on it with me? Send me a message or comment below!