Tag: marriage

Celebrating 50 Blog Posts!

Published on by tinavila204 Comments

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FIFTY, Y’ALL.

I can’t even believe that’s real. I’m pretty proud of this milestone, which is why we’re going behind the scenes for a look on how we got here!

This is likely old news, but my background is in education. When I pursued a history teaching degree, I was sure I had found my life’s calling. Minoring in religious education meant all my favourite things were mixed into one undergraduate degree and I was set for life.

I truly loved each of the high schools at which I taught after earning my degree. Every school had its issues, every class had its drama, but I felt so content in my role. So fulfilled in my calling.

Mrs Avila – my first year teaching, 2009

And then, the move.

When we moved away from Montreal, I gave up a lot. My home, my family, my friends – as well as the seniority I was gaining with my school board. Still, I had no regrets.

It’s amazing how God fills you with His peace when you walk in His will.

I acquired my Ontario teaching license and was ready for that new classroom any moment now.

Well, it came as quite a surprise when I was without a teaching opportunity at all. Ontario’s teaching market was even more competitive than Quebec’s. So despite my modest seniority and the teaching experience I brought with me, I just couldn’t get my foot in the door. Nothing. Not a bite.

So I gave it up. That so-called calling was left to die.

I quickly moved on as life got busy settling into our new church, raising kids, and a part-time job I’ve been doing from home ever since.

Until two years ago when I felt a longing for more.

Sure, I missed having students, the structure of teaching, the exchange of ideas, the research and study that went into preparing lessons.

But then I realized, it was more than that! I had a restlessness in my spirit about the trajectory of my life and how I was spending my time. I felt aimless and purposeless and empty.

So when our pastor was putting together a study for his doctorate on discernment and the Holy Spirit, I took it as an opportunity to sort through some of this. I came out of the 8-week study with a clearer understanding of the source of my unrest. But also a clearer picture of what I wanted for the next season of my life.

I finally stopped ignoring my desire to continue my education. And although I’ve put a pin in that for now, one day this aging mama is going to do some graduate work in biblical studies or theology or something equally amazing.

I’ve accepted that the high school classroom isn’t for me…

Rather, I’m eager for opportunities to teach from God’s Word. It’s where my greatest passion and interest lies. I already get to do that with some amazing women at our church in a small group setting. Perhaps one day I’ll have opportunities to teach in a more formal capacity after acquiring some formal training.

Until then, starting this blog was the best thing I could have done to satisfy that desire. I couldn’t have predicted what the last two years were going to look like on a large scale. Although it’s hard for me to believe I’ve maintained consistent content throughout, I also can’t imagine what I would’ve done without this creative outlet in the midst of this pandemic.

The blog’s first year was an exercise in finding my voice. I explored all sorts of topics and some were, admittedly, complete rubbish.

Leading into the second year of the blog, I felt the immense gravity of what I was doing and was compelled to go deeper into faith topics exclusively. No doubt this has lost me readership, but I’m learning to be ok with that.

Online, as in life, I don’t feel I have much to offer if I’m not pointing to Jesus. I don’t do this perfectly by any means, just ask my family! But sharing from God’s Word is still my favourite thing. Anything else feels like a waste of your time. And I’m not about doing that!

I’m no authority on any given topic, but I do recognize where God has gifted me, and this has been my most life-giving venture by far.

First photo taken for the blog 2 years go!

Where do blog ideas come from?

The Bible! Reading the scriptures is my favourite spark of inspiration for topics to explore further. God teaches me a lot through His Word, and the teacher in me is continually compelled to pass along my findings.

My prayer, as Paul says in I Corinthians 11:23: that what I receive from the Lord, I would pass on to you… that what I’ve been learning would show up in my writing!

I’m also inspired by books, articles, podcasts, sermons, and songs. Message me for a list of current favourites!

What does the writing process look like?

I wish I had an ingenious formula to unveil here, but for the most part it’s pretty simple and not glamorous at all.

  • I start with a general thesis and come up with a working title to plug into my calendar. (There’s usually a few of these floating around in my drafts which get bumped up in the queue as they get closer to completion.)
  • I do additional research through online articles or biblical commentaries I borrow from our pastor.
  • As ideas formulate, I simply write and write and write! Sometimes just a little at a time, sometimes the entire post gets banged out in one sitting.

What do I hope to accomplish with the blog?

I’m often asked why I haven’t monetized the blog.

The reason is this: Right now, I write from the overflow of my heart. (Luke 6:45) I can’t say what financial income would do to this process. I want nothing more than to bring God glory with this blog and podcast.

So with no one to answer to, and no expectation to profit from it, I’m free. Plain and simple! No one owns me, and I don’t owe anyone a thing.

God speaks to me so loudly through His Word. He’s provided this space where I get to teach, in an unconventional way, the things that bring me life like nothing else.

Perhaps that’ll change someday. For now, I’m content in this. That you are still here is a blessing not lost on me. I’m so grateful and feel so lucky that despite 3 kids, 2 jobs, 1 Bible study, and all the other hats I wear as wife and homemaker, I get to do this.

I get to talk about Jesus and tell you about how great He is and how much He loves you and what lengths He took to reconcile you to Almighty God.

My screen is blurry with tears as I type this, but thank you for 50 posts. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.

May God bless you and keep you; May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

– Numbers 6:24-26

What’s in the Ears

There’s a zillion songs to choose from, but this one sums up my life pretty well and how I hope it’ll end. This song was also really significant to me as it came out during our first autumn in Leamington 6 years ago. I have the fondest memories of that season and this song. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy!

Thanks again dear reader/listener! I’m curious if any of this was new to you? Drop any questions or comments below or send me a message!

Podcast available through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Anchor!

Too Much and Not Enough

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

Confession: I don’t know what it is about 7pm, but once it strikes, I hit a wall and can no longer parent. It’s like I’m a character out of Cinderella who’s out past curfew and turns into a pumpkin.

Being a stay-at-home parent means you’re ON for your kids at all times. And with one kid who isn’t a lover of sleep, it means we sure do see lots of each other during all hours of the day and night.

By the time we’re finished with dinner, I have a hard time even being around my kids. Is that TMI? My tank is empty. I’ve reached my limit and I have nothing left. I just can’t seem to be enough for them.

*Disclaimer, my kids are freakin’ awesome. They may feel like too much, but they’re really not. They’re just regular kids, with regular needs. However, I am a human mama with human limitations. I don’t have boundless energy or infinite patience. Even on my best days, my kids can feel like way too much! And I can often feel like I’m not enough.

Regular kids + mama with limits = high chance of not being enough for them.

**Disclaimer 2: I know I can also be a little much. Being married to an introvert, I’ve learnt that when my husband has had a difficult day, I can be a little overbearing with my questions, requests and anecdotes.

It requires a conscious effort on my part to Tone. It. Down! and not be overbearing, demanding, naggy, clingy, desperado… ya know, all the most sought after qualities every man loves in his lady.

But it doesn’t stop there, folks!

Being too much or not enough is a struggle in many relationships dynamics.

Take friendships: we can all think of that one needy friend – hey, maybe you are that friend!

That one person who never seems to get enough of your time or attention. Who needs more of you than you can give, or are willing to give!

With unhealthy boundaries, we can feel like we’re stretched too thin in meeting the demands of our time and relationships.

We can feel like we’re either too much for some people, or not enough for others. To some, we may feel like a burden or a nuisance. While to others, no matter what we do or how much we give, it’s never enough.

This is the tension we all have to manage as people created with limitations in our time and mental capacity. We simply cannot be all things to all people (Scripture taken out of context, don’t @ me!).

He loves me. Even when I’m annoying and clingy!

To find any success in these areas, I humbly propose the following:

  • Recognize the struggle
  • Put healthy boundaries in place to manage time and responsibilities
  • Ask God for His empowering strength to face each day and its demands
  • And voilà! You win at life!

Ok, ok I’m obviously making ridiculous mom jokes. But the truth is that the heart of this blog post isn’t about boundaries, tips on time management, healthy vs. toxic friendships, or anything else like that.

What I’ve come to realize is this: our culture of unrealistic expectations means that we can so easily feel suffocated by the needs of others. Or on the flip side, we can feel the pressure to shrink ourselves in order to not be so overbearing.

Whichever side you tend to lean on, neither gives us a healthy view of God. That’s what I really want to shed light on here, and that’s the real tragedy of this whole thing.

Allow me to make a few things clear:

  • You will NEVER be too much for God.
  • You will NEVER be not enough for God (excuse the double negative, I’m making a point).
  • You will NEVER be misunderstood by God.
  • You will NEVER be a burden to God.
  • You will NEVER be annoying to God.
  • You will NEVER be insufficient to God.

Why? Because God is not like us! He doesn’t get tired. He doesn’t lose His patience. He doesn’t expect something from us that He knows we were never meant to give.

He doesn’t roll His eyes at our neediness. He doesn’t get exasperated at our worry. He doesn’t get frustrated with how long-winded our ramblings can be.

Yes, He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) and He is angry at our sin (Isaiah 59:2).

But amazingly, God—so full of compassion—still forgives us! He covered over our sins with His love, refusing to destroy us all. Over and over He holds back His anger, restraining wrath to show us mercy.

Psalm 78:38 (narrative edit by me)

Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the people who overwhelm me, I have to consciously remind myself that God doesn’t get overwhelmed by me. He doesn’t need a break from me. He doesn’t get His fill or reach His limit of “Tina time”.

Because the Lord longs to be gracious to me; therefore He will rise up to show me compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!

Isaiah 30:18
Sweet scooter gang

Where do you go to fill up when you’re empty? Who could ever truly be enough for you when you’re just not enough?

1 I look up to the mountains—
    does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble;
    the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, He who watches over Israel
    never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord Himself watches over you!
    The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
    and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
    both now and forever.

– Psalm 121
  • God is always always always available to us. ALWAYS! (Hebrews 4:16)
  • He created us for Himself! For the sole purpose of being in relationship with Him. (Romans 11:36)
  • He is fully aware of all our limitations and toxic traits, and they do not deter him from us. (Hebrews 4:15)
  • He knows every little thing about us, and still loves us completely. (Psalm 139 – all of it! Read it with fresh eyes when you need the reminder that God doesn’t think you’re too much or not enough.)
  • When we put our faith in His Son, Jesus, we are covered by Him, and can have full access to fountain that never runs dry. (John 4:14)

When you’ve been burnt enough times by people who want you to be less of yourself, or demanding more than you have to give, please please please – remember that Jesus is not like that. Yes, He asks us to lay down our lives to follow Him (Luke 9:23), but it’s so He can give us abundant life in return!

I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!

– John 10:10

I’d say that’s a trade in our favour, friends! So when you feel hesitant to go to God with your frustrations, questions, qualms, and needs – don’t! Don’t feel hesitant! He’s not burnt out by you. He has more for you than you could ever need.

What’s in the Ears

This week we’re showcasing not 1, but 2 songs!

The first was an obvious choice and truly ministers to the heart.

This is a perfect song for our topic too! It’s a recent release and the whole album is really powerful.

Talk to me, friend! Do you ever feel like you’re too much or not enough for your people?
Where does this land for you? Do you ever project those feelings onto God? Let me know in the comments or send me a DM!