Youth Ministry, We Bid You Adieu

A pastor wife’s farewell to 13 years of youth ministry

*Click HERE for the podcast on Spotify; or HERE on the Anchor app!

It was the summer of 2008 when my family embarked on our first and only trip to Greece (so far). My husband, Xavier, was still my boyfriend at the time, and leaving him behind for three weeks was the longest we had ever been apart.

I set off for the motherland with my parents, two brothers, and countless calling cards. Travelling internationally in 2008 meant unlikely access to unreliable internet and no smart phones for us to keep in touch.

Me + my two brothers in Athens

So international calling cards, Greek island pay phones, and a 7-hour time difference was the only recipe we had for successful connection during my stay in Greece.

I know what you’re thinking, and yes, we were as cool as we looked.

Greece was, as you’d expect, an absolute dream.

We spent two weeks on the home island of my Destounis family – my dad’s side. We visited the home in which my grandfather grew up in the 1930s during Nazi occupation. His sister still lives there, and was gracious enough to feed us and show us around the olive grove that still surrounds the family home.

From the roof top overlooking the olive grove of my grandfather’s childhood home in Kefalonia. My great-aunt and her husband maintain it now.

We visited cousins in Athens who took us off the beaten path of tourists and travellers to rooftop restaurants overlooking the Parthenon and other ancient landmarks, as you do when in Greece.

Rooftop bar overlooking the Parthenon. “When in Greece…”

Like I said, a freakin’ dream.

Meanwhile, back in Montreal…

My boyfriend (now husband) had been making plans to leave for Nova Scotia to enrol in a flight school there! He saved his money, had a few flying hours logged with an instructor in Montreal, and was excited to embark on this new career path.

He spent the summer as a youth intern at our church. And although he enjoyed the experience, we both felt pretty settled about his new journey to the pilot career he had always dreamt of.

One of our first youth leadership teams! Can you find us in the crowd?

When God has other plans

Between beach hopping and Greek frappé coffees, I would call my now-husband with the calling cards we had purchased for the trip. We missed each other terribly. And I wondered how in the world we’d manage being separated for months at a time when he’d go to flight school on the east coast, and I to McGill University in Montreal to complete my teaching degree.

During one of our long distance calls, Xavier shared some big news: he had been offered the permanent position of youth pastor at our church.

This came as a surprise to both of us! We needed to take some time to pray into God’s will for this ministry opportunity, and I just couldn’t believe that I was halfway across the world when this game-changer was dropped in his lap.

But the space between us was good. The time apart was critical. We were able to bring this pastoring opportunity before the Lord as individuals with clear minds, and come together – over our next long distance, muffled phone call, to discover that God had been gracious to bring us both to the same place, and on the same page… despite the thousands of miles that separated us geographically.

When a surprise open door leads to your calling

Xavier and I both felt so much peace about him accepting this role and changing our plans for the future. We were excited about this new opportunity to minister to the youth of our church. It felt so right, and we were so grateful to God for opening this door.

Xavier started the new position of Youth Pastor in the fall of 2008 and asked me to marry him shortly after. We were married in the summer of 2009, a year after my trip to Greece and the calling card phone calls that changed it all.

We celebrated 12 years of marriage this year! Which means Xavier has been a youth pastor for longer than he’s been my husband.

After 7 years of youth ministry at our home church, we had lived in two homes, had two boys, and lots of teens walk through our doors and into our hearts.

However, God was doing a new thing, and a new opportunity presented itself to our family as we stepped out in faith to a town called Leamington and a church called Meadow Brook.

Our last Sunday at Westview Bible Church in Montreal

Another open door, a new church, a new town, a new place to call “home”

We moved to Leamington six years ago when Xavier accepted a position as the Youth and Worship Pastor at Meadow Brook. There have been many highs, many lows, but God’s steadfast love and faithfulness to us unmistakably through it all.

Walking to our first youth night at MB: Baseball practice for church league baseball!

I think it’s a very good thing that God doesn’t warn us of all our hardships in advance, or we may not step into the spaces He calls us to. For those of you who follow me on social media, you might assume my highlight reel is for a journey from mountaintop to mountaintop. But no one can jump that high. Sometimes you have to go through the valley to get there. And let me tell you, there certainly have been valleys.

I’m not trying to be cryptic or overly dramatic, just honest and candid. Hardship is part of life! We all go through something that shapes us. Hopefully, it’s for the better.

The last six years of youth ministry for Xavier at Meadow Brook have been beautiful to watch.

It’s been a privilege to be in the front row of his growth in leadership and confidence. To pour into teens who are in hard situations… pointing them to Jesus, speaking truth, speaking wisdom, speaking encouragement. He does so much good behind the scenes and under the radar that only God knows. And if you know Xavier, you know that’s exactly how he likes it.

Speaking to the youth with our eldest joining in

So as we turn a corner and close our chapter of youth ministry, I’m finding it to be a bittersweet adieu. Seeing how effortlessly Xavier connects with teens and they with him… it makes my heart ache to wonder how their needs will be met going forward.

Thankfully, God knows. He’s got that covered, and we get to move on to a new thing, knowing He sees them and provides exactly what they need too.

Behind the scenes (our basement office) of recording/producing/streaming our Sundays services during Covid lockdown. He occupied this space for very many long hours over several months.

We’re not leaving ministry, we’re not even leaving our beloved church! But a new role for a man who’s proven faithful with little, and can now be trusted with more. (Luke 16:10)

Who knows, maybe we’ll even take a trip to Greece to commemorate the occasion.

Not in Greece. Still very happy.

What’s in the Ears

*Click HERE for the podcast on Spotify; or HERE on the Anchor App!

Was any part of our journey new to you? Based on what’s been shared, can you relate to anything we’ve been through? Let me know by sending me a message or comment below!

Tree Planting

My paternal grandfather is 90 years young as I write this. He’s been through a lot, as is expected at that age. But he’s tough as nails, and has hardly slowed down. He and my grandmother live in their 3-bedroom home, and still maintain it impeccably, inside and out.

Taken at my grandparents’ home on last time I saw them, December 2019.

From the generation that lived through World War II, followed by mass emigration from Europe to North America, my grandparents faced all the ups and downs that come with post-war immigrant life.

The pair only met on this side of the pond as fate would have it (or God’s will?), when they found employment at the same little bakery in downtown Montreal’s Park Extension.

Engagement photo, 1957

They fell in love, got married, had a couple of kids, started a couple of businesses, and unfortunately lived through more tragedy than any parent should when their second son took his life as a teenager, leaving my own dad as an only child.

The years that followed were met with their own type of adversity since Greek-speaking grief counselling services weren’t exactly in abundant supply in Montreal in the 1970s.

Fast forward 40+ years…

…and my grandfather is in the twilight of his life. Because of Covid and a 10-hour drive between us, I haven’t seen him as often as I would like in recent years. But I’m told he’s in a very reflective state as of late.

He’s pondering life’s deep questions… Tying up loose ends of material possessions and family heirlooms… I guess you’d call that getting his affairs in order.

So what does all this have to do with our post titled, Tree Planting?

Me with my brother, grandfather, and a zucchini so big it’d probably win a prize at a country fair.

Well for as long as I can remember, my grandfather’s garden has been his pride and joy. In the spring, summer, and autumn months, he spends his days outdoors cultivating, pruning, tilling, grafting, nurturing, and harvesting a wide variety of produce.

Besides the more common cukes and tomatoes that are grown in this corner of the world, my grandfather – having the greenest of green thumbs – has successfully grown produce thought to be too exotic to survive Montreal’s climate.

Just a couple of Greek kids and a child-size zucchini .

Growing up, my family was always the happy recipient of the fruit of my grandfather’s labour.

Literal fruit, like cherries from his cherry tree, peaches from his peach tree, as well as lemons and limes, plums and apricots, which my own children have also enjoyed.

His secret? The man starts planting indoors where the temperature can be regulated and the roots strengthened. Once the tree is strong enough to be transplanted outdoors, he attentively waters and prunes it during the warm months.

When the temperatures start to drop, he literally digs up half of the tree and buries it into the ground as a way to hibernate through the subzero temperatures of Montreal’s harsh winters.

I personally find this to be absolutely WILD. Even before the days of Google, he was never much of a reader. He never finished elementary school (no thanks to the Nazi invasion of his Greek island home, Kefalonia), so I really can’t imagine any scenario where he would have researched this!

So if you’re looking for the secret to tropical fruit growth – look no further!

My boys and their great-grandparents with the dining room lemon tree.

To Never Enjoy the Fruit of Your Labour

As I mentioned, I haven’t seen my grandparents since before Covid. But even through all the hardship that this past year (and now over a year!) has delivered at his age, my grandfather has this crazy notion that he’s going to plant yet another fruit tree.

  • At 90 years old
  • Whilst juggling several health problems and complications
  • Limited mobility
  • Chronic pain
  • Harsh climate
  • Did I mention 90 years old?

The man has decided to plant another fruit tree.

Folks, I tell you this because it was the life lesson that felt like the ultimately wake up call to me. If we were sitting (masked)face to (masked)face at a safe 6 ft apart just visiting and sharing life, I’d be waving my arms around like the dramatic Greek I am and shouting this next part…

All CAPS will have to do:

HE WILL NEVER EAT FRUIT FROM THIS TREE.
HE WILL NEVER SIT UNDER ITS BRANCHES, NOR WILL HE ENJOY THE SHADE OF ITS LEAVES.

He’s planting this tree for whoever will live in his home next. For the future owners of his home. For the next generation. Without any payback, reward, or personal gain.

I didn’t know this when I first started working on this post, but there’s actually an old Greek proverb that says:

This post isn’t overly spiritual or biblical, but I think there’s a lot to be learnt from regular life and experiences too.

What if we all approached life this way? What if we made life decisions that didn’t necessarily have a direct positive impact on our own wellbeing? What if we just did something for someone else without expecting something in return?

To be clear, I’m very much NOT good at this. Look at this post as a way to keep me accountable since I’m putting it out there and you’re actually reading it now and there’s no turning back.

We’re just not naturally inclined to do something for others that doesn’t benefit us in return.

In the wise words of Joey Tribbiani:

When I reach the twilight of my own life, I want to be known for that too! For the selfless good deeds. For inexplicable kindness. For generosity that defies logic. For planting trees I’ll never get to rest under.

What about you?

There’s lots to work on, and I have a ways to go. But let’s not stay in the condemnation of all the things we’re not getting right, or the goals we fall short of.

As a final thought:

(because I love my Bible)

The Apostle Paul shared some inspiring closing remarks to his young protégé, Timothy, a young up-and-comer in faith and church leadership.

In this letter, Paul encourages Timothy to continue in what he had learnt from his mother and grandmother (since family legacy is important!). He then ends with a reminder that the wisdom of his matriarchs is based on the Word of God!

Because…

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

– II Timothy 3:16-17

The balance of this important reminder really resonated with me. We can be inspired by those around us doing a good work…

Example: don’t even get me started on my grandmother! She’s the most selfless, servant-hearted person I’ve ever met.

But we anchor it ALL to the inspiring words of scripture that God uses to prepare and equip His people to actually DO the good!

One last photo because look how happy they are! (Taken 2 years ago – one of my last Montreal visits, May 2019.)

What’s in the Ears

This song is about prayer, but it’s also about the legacy of faith we inherit from loved ones, and pass on to others. It always moves me to tears. Here are the lyrics!

Thanks for reading along today! Writing about my grandfather was emotional but special too. So I’d love to hear your own inspiring or special family stories! Send me a message or comment below!