Author: tinavila20

No Parking Zone

Published on by tinavila206 Comments

It was a quiet evening in June. I was cleaning up after dinner and my husband was getting our baby boy ready for bed. Life. Was. Goooooood. Though if I’m being honest, I’m sure I didn’t necessarily think so since I’ve been known to over-dramatizing things (not that my husband would EVER confirm this preposterous notion).

I digress…

While cleaning, I felt what can only be described as an earthquake. The entire house shook and rattled. My husband ran into the kitchen holding our son, and we met each other with matching looks of horror and perplexity.

Turns out a car drove full speed into our house. Of course…?

We stepped outside and sure enough, there it was. Half a car out on our lawn, the other half suspended in mid-air through a car-shaped hole in our basement.

So here’s what happened:

  • The car hanging out of our house actually belonged to our neighbour from across the street
  • This neighbour was completely sober
  • She meant to back into her own driveway
  • She realized she was going forward and meant to slam the breaks
  • She slammed the gas pedal even harder instead
  • She had recently lost a dear friend to cancer; her mind was preoccupied
  • Thankfully, she walked away without a scratch
Just your average car-in-a-house scenario.

We had not been living in our home for even a full year when this freak accident took place.

As the damage was assessed and we took inventory of our home, one thing was clear: our lives were spared that day.

For awhile, I was in a state of shock. The thought of what could have been… all the what if’s that run through your head rent-free in the aftermath of any accident… it was scary to think about!

So this is where my head went: Had the accident taken place just a few minutes later, my husband and I would have been sitting on the couch in our usual cozy spots, probably watching the Habs game or a new episode of The Office.

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious…

– M.G.S.

The car rammed through the outer wall of our basement family room punching a 100 lbs window through the other side. That window then flew across the room, landing on a couch where we usually sit. It’s likely that we would have absorbed the force of that window.

Not to overdramatize (because, y’all know that’s not my vibe), but we truly were minutes away from that reality. Thank God that wasn’t the case.

The entire basement had to be renovated, and the exterior of our house refinished as well due to car-sized damage to brick and siding.

Thank you Lord for home insurance.

We used an old door to board up the hole until it could be repaired.

We had only JUST moved into our home less than a year before. We were finally out of boxes and had arranged everything exactly how we wanted it to be. So this surprise reno definitely was not what we wanted, not what we’d planned. It wasn’t well timed, nor did it make sense!

A few months later, it really did turn out lovely and we were so happy with the finished work. The insurance was fair in their appraisals, which made our newly-renovated home a true gift.

First Easy Takeaway: there are a lot of places one could park their vehicle. A neighbour’s basement is most certainly not on one of them.

So what’s the point of all this besides a bit of blockbuster entertainment with a side of shock value?

For awhile, I asked God that very questions. What was the point of that?! Sometimes things in life just happen. I don’t believe God is the cause of all of it, but anything we experience is allowed by God. So why did God allow that?

Well, it took a few more years to see the big picture.

In my last blog post, I shared about a big opportunity my husband had to start a new job, in a new town. So when he was offered a pastoring position at Meadow Brook Church, we knew we had to sell our house because we weren’t about to add a 10-hour commute to our daily lives.

And there it was. Our big picture.

Second Easy Takeaway: If you know anything about real estate (of which I possess nearly zero knowledge), you know that unless there are extreme fluctuations in the market, it’s wise to sit on a piece of real estate for awhile before selling for profit. Unless you’re flipping a fixer-upper, it’s not likely that you’ll turn a huge profit if you try selling within only a few years of buying.

God’s Providence

I find this to be increasingly true:

Those who leave everything in God’s hands, will eventually see God’s hand in everything.

I derive a lot, and I mean SO MUCH comfort in seeing God working in the tiny details of my life. In those little things that seem inconsequential… I KNOW He is doing a work for my good, and His glory.

Our finished home for sale before moving to Leamington!

Our freak accident ended up increasing the value of our home significantly. Less than two years later, we made the life-changing decision to move our family 10 hours away for a new ministry opportunity.

We only lived in our first home for three years when all was said and done. But the ripple effects of that woman driving into our house are still felt every single day of my life.

You see, when we finally decided to move to a new town, we couldn’t have known what a sizeable downpayment would mean to us. Compared to Montreal’s market, the market in our town was laughable six years ago (in case you’re unaware, it’s terrifying today).

Because the house we bought cost significantly less than what we sold for, we were able to drop an entire income (I was teaching then) and take on a mortgage that could be supported by one salary.

It was a big priority for us to have a parent home while our children are young, but making that happen in Montreal felt like an impossibility. I love of all these tiny, but wild details God orchestrated to make this dream come true. I’ve been home with our babes ever since!

Ok yes, so I do complain about #momlife a fair bit, but that’s not the point here! Don’t @ me!

Friend, please hear my heart in this: Sometimes it feels like you’re living under a storm cloud. Like you can’t catch a break. You keep facing set backs, breakdowns, meltdowns, and attacks from the devil that just don’t make sense. Like a car driving into your house?

Sometimes God delivers us from our troubles on our timeline. But sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes He works things out in ways we couldn’t have imagined. Because His ways are not our ways! And as high as the heavens are above the earth, so are His ways higher than ours. (Isaiah 55:9)

What’s really really really cool, is CHOOSING to leave those things in His hands, and then seeing His hand work out all the details… in His time. FOR. HIS. GLORY!

So rather than staring at half a car hanging out your basement and thinking, am I cursed?

Ask instead, God, what are you working out in all this?! He will NOT disappoint. He is faithful and true and He’s always for your good.

What’s in the Ears

This song is too good, and I didn’t mean for this to be so perfectly suited to the topic, but it is. Enjoy!

Have some questions or thoughts to share on any of this? Send me a message or comment below!!

First Impressions

Published on by tinavila201 Comment

They can be a lot of pressure! What comes to mind, is an opportunity my husband and I had six years ago to make a good first impression with potentially life-changing results.

We had been interviewing at various churches across North America in search of a new ministry opportunity. When one church in Southern Ontario invited us for a two-day visit including a formal interview and to meet some church leaders and the staff.

Quaint Windsor airport. Heading back to Montreal after our interview!

I remember the anticipation leading up to the interview as we took time to prepare, dream, pray, and freak out! Ok fine, I probably did the freaking out. My husband was calm, cool, and ready. Which is a good thing too, because he was doing 99% of the interview.

Besides the anticipated interview questions, I couldn’t help but consider how I might be perceived.

I knew all about that stereotype of a pastor wife vibe. I also knew I didn’t check all the boxes.

  • Love Jesus ✔️ (but I’m not great at trusting and obeying Him)
  • Love others ✔️ (but reeeeeeeally not as well I should)
  • Read my Bible ✔️ (but I find parts of it boring… yes, even me, the one obsessed with the Scriptures)
  • Pray everyday ✔️ (do drowsy bedtime prayers count?)
  • Listen exclusively to worship music (yeah, no… please don’t ask for my Spotify history)
  • Never cuss (define never…. damn it! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?)
  • Passion for children and youth (umm sorry husband, you might not get the job and it’s all my fault)

It was so stressful to think about what kind of first impression I’d be giving during those first encounters.

Well, spoiler alert: I didn’t blow it. My husband landed the gig! And it was 6 years ago this past week, since that whirlwind weekend of first impressions.

Why are first impressions such a big deal? What is it about being asked to describe ourselves that makes us want to run for the hills instead?

Whether it’s:

  • a blind date
  • job interview
  • first day of school
  • first day on the job
  • meeting the in laws
  • or a small group Bible study…

The intense pressure we feel to project the best possible version of ourselves is truly palpable.

Hi, I’m God.

I’m willing to bet He did not feel the pressure, but in the book of Exodus, we find one of the very first times God describes Himself in Scripture. How cool is that?!

Let’s check it out!

5 Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him [Moses]; and He called out His own name, Yahweh. 6 “Yahweh! The LORD!
    The God of grace and mercy!
I am slow to anger
    and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
7 I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.
    I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.
But I do not excuse the guilty.
    I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;
the entire family is affected—
    even children in the third and fourth generations.”

– Exodus 34:5-7

Honestly, it gives me chills just thinking about it. After an already wild start for humanity, God’s like: “Ok, this is it y’all. Here’s a little about me and what I’m all about.”

It’s been said, if you want to know what God’s like, just look at Jesus. But I would argue that God had been revealing Himself to His people, and trying to make Himself known and understood long before Christ walked the earth.

So I say, if you want to know what God is like, Exodus 34:5-7 is a great place to start!

Naturally, God starts with His name – actually, names!

Yahweh: The earliest recorded name of God, spelled YHWH in Hebrew. The name in itself is considered so sacred and holy it couldn’t even be uttered! Yahweh means “He who brings whatever exists into being”.

The LORD: When in all uppercase, it is another name for God. And there is none like Him!

God goes on to describe His character by painting a picture of who He specifically is in relation to His people.

Every facet of God’s character contains these attributes in their fullness. He isn’t one more than another. As James 1:17 puts it, “there is no variation or shadow of turning – nothing deceitful, nothing two-faced or fickle.”

Even though God is fully and completely all these characteristics, I love that He starts with grace. It’s a lesson in my own life to extend it for others and to receive it for myself.

Grace is receiving goodness from God, which we do not deserve and could do nothing to earn. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Mercy is God withholding punishment we deserve and extending pardon and forgiveness instead. (Deuteronomy 4:31)

Being slow to anger has to do with God’s patience and delay in displaying His wrath against sin. Also related to His long-suffering and how He patiently endures our offences and rebellion against Him. (Psalm 103:8)

Unfailing love is SO hard for us to get our minds around because we cannot produce a love that is so unconditional or steadfast, but God’s love really is! (Romans 5:8)

Faithfulness: This scripture says it best, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

How are these characteristics manifested? FORGIVENESS!

God forgives iniquity, rebellion, and sin… to a thousand generations! (Deuteronomy 7:9)

That’s really good news!

But we can’t fully appreciate how good that news really is unless we read the whole of verse 7. Sorry y’all.

We’d rather ignore the reality of 7b, and live on the good graces of a God who extends unfailing love to a thousand generations.

But friends,

…what would have been the point of Jesus’ death, then?

We cheapen His sacrifice when we downplay our sin and its consequences!

The following paints a sobering picture:

“We’re not really surprised that God has redeemed us. Somewhere deep inside, in the secret chambers of our hearts we harbour the notion that God owes us His mercy. Heaven would not be quite the same if we were excluded from it. We know that we are sinners, but we’re surely not as bad as we could be. There are enough redeeming features to our personalities that if God is really just, He will include us in salvation. What amazes us is justice, not grace.”

– R. C. Sproul

Justice has to be served. We’d expect that from an earthly court with a human judge! So of course a God of justice has to punish the guilty, or else He wouldn’t be true to Himself.

However, and this is a big HOWEVER! If that’s where we stop, then there’s not much good about the Good News, is there?

It’s only in understanding that Jesus took on God’s wrath against our own sin, in our place, that we find the very best ending to ANY story.

Faith in Jesus means that we are always under the banner of mercy, not judgement. And God’s default for us is mercy every time to a thousand generations.

I’m reminded that mercy TRIUMPHS or REJOICES over judgement (James 2:13). Knowing God errs on the side of mercy means the Good News isn’t just good, it’s life-changing!

So whether it’s an opportunity to make a good first impression, as in our experience; or a chance to get to know the unfailing love of God – those initial interactions truly matter because they have a lasting impact on how any relationship will unfold.

What’s in the Ears

Y’all this song! A reminder that it’s His kindness that leads us to change (repent). He’s so good.

I felt so compelled to share about the richness of this passage, but they don’t call them hard truths for nothing! Can you share your own thoughts on it with me? Send me a message or comment below!

Bandaids on a Gunshot Wound

Published on by tinavila202 Comments

5-step program! 4 smart solutions! 3 easy payments! 2 effective strategies! 1 piece of advice!

Does it not draw us in to think that all our troubles could magically go away so easily?! Wouldn’t we all love a quick fix to life’s woes?

Living in a world that prides itself in efficiency and results, it’s no wonder the Easter story, and the wild notion that Jesus’ death can transform your life, appear downright foolish. And if not foolish, at least perplexing.

The reality is that we fool ourselves by believing that our bandaid-solutions will make ANY lasting difference to our broken lives here, or in eternity. Because it’s not about steps of improvement to implement, but a Person to know, a Redeemer to save!

Once we see that the real transformative power Jesus offers is the only real solution to our fatal problem, we’re then awakened to the futility of our own self-help efforts.

Like bandaids on a gunshot wound.

Please hear my heart through this intensity of a ramble…

NOTHING has had a greater impact on my life than simply doing life with Jesus.

  • Trusting Him with the unknown.
  • Trusting Him with circumstances I can’t control.
  • Trusting Him with whatever I want to change but don’t know how to (no matter how many bandaids).
  • Ultimately trusting Him with the salvation of my very soul!
  • To believe that God created all of us for more than what our eyes can see.

Because if we could see it, we wouldn’t need God to do it, that’s why it’s faith! (Pastor Mike Todd said it first)

Sin: The Gunshot Wound

If I really had to reduce it all to a step-program, I suppose that acknowledging our own sin as the problem would have to be the first step. You can then follow that with having the faith to believe God for our solution.

But if we fail to recognize the true consequence of sin on our lives, and acknowledge the fatality of this gunshot wound to our very existence, then I suppose a quick fix bandaid works just fine in deluding us into believing that God sending Jesus is unnecessary or irrelevant.

Thankfully God’s offer of salvation is available to anyone who will to accept it. It isn’t any less true whether you believe it or not.

2 Corinthians 5:21 gives us a beautiful, yet simple synopsis of the Easter story:

God made Jesus, who had no sin, to be sin for us. So that in Jesus, we might become right with God.

Unfortunately, until we truly taste and see how GOOD He is, “we basically reduce Jesus to a cultural icon, rather than the living, resurrected Saviour. And apart from Him we can do absolutely nothing” (Dr. Crawford Loritts). That’s why the quick fix can never work. In the ancient world, the sacrificial system offered a way for people to be made right with God. But like I keep saying, it was a bandaid solution!

Today, the sum of our good deeds can make us feel like we’ve earned our way into God’s good graces. And with polarizing views on what good deeds actually look like, it’s hard to know if you’re even getting that right in the first place!

11 Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. 12 But our High Priest I offered Himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. 14 For by that one offering He forever made perfect those who are being made holy. 16 “This is the new covenant I will make
with my people on that day, says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”
17 Then He says, “I will never again remember
 their sins and lawless deeds.”
18 And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.

– Hebrews 10:11-18

I’m so grateful that Jesus’ sacrifice isn’t only about taking on the consequence of my sin and the reality of whatever awaits us in the afterlife, which is obviously a big deal!

But His sacrifice has amazing consequences in this life too! For an abundant life (John 10:10) and peace beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I need me some peace to get through each day. I need confidence in knowing I can be right with God. That even if I make mistakes, I don’t have to carry the weight of my sin through life. And my identity can now be found in Him.

I don’t have to try to cover my tracks by putting bandaids on gunshot wounds and hoping for the best. I can KNOW with confidence that I’m forgiven, I’m redeemed – for a purpose!

Tim Keller says that Christian identity is the only one that is received, not achieved. This means that transformation doesn’t depend on my performance, but when we accept Jesus’ sacrifice, we receive a new identity as a child of God – forgiven and loved.

And that’s such good news!

Because when it comes down to it, what we really need is good news, not good advice. We don’t need good advice to follow, but good news to believe. One is about tips and tricks, the other is transformative.

I echo Paul’s question in Romans 2:4, don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

This may sound cynical, but unfortunately, I don’t think we actually care for God’s kindness, when all we want is quick solutions to our problems. It grieves me to think that we completely miss what God offers us when we fail to recognize how amazing His mercy and grace really are.

When we reduce the Easter story and God’s plan of salvation to simply being good enough or bad enough, we miss the point! Because that’s not what God’s grace is about! We bring the wrong solutions to a problem only God can rectify. “It’s not about being good or bad. It’s about being dead or alive!” (Louie Giglio) None of us could ever be good enough to get to heaven. No matter how many tips and tricks we try. It’s about recognizing our need for a Saviour, and then being made alive in Him.

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

– 2 Corinthians‬ ‭7:10‬ ‭

I guess that would be it. The big tip. The main point. I love how the Corinthians author addresses the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. One leads to repentance, salvation, and life! The other is filled with regret, shame, and death.

Let’s be sorry for our sin, but let’s bring it to the foot of the cross where we can exchange it for fullness of life and a new identity as children of God. Not just a bandaid-solution, but a complete transformation from the inside out.

More than a bandaid

The following verse – stripped of any complex theology, in all its simplicity – is the best possible way I can think to conclude. The story goes like this: Jesus heals a blind man. Religious leaders (who happen to be spiritually blind themselves!) give him flack about it. And all he says is…

“I have no idea what kind of man He is. All I know is this: I was blind, but now I see.”

– John 9:25

And that’s the beauty of the whole dang thing.

Many people, much smarter than I, have ventured to answer life’s tough questions and solve humanities impossible problems to no avail… I don’t know everything about Jesus. All I know is this: I was dead inside, but now I’m alive. I was blind, but now I see.

What’s in the Ears

Comment below or send me a message with any thoughts or questions on this Easter post that’s so dear to my heart! I just love to hear from you.

It’s Not Me, It’s Him

Published on by tinavila2010 Comments

The Keys of Success:

Fame. Fortune. Power.

We live in a world that idolizes a trinity of success. Sure, we may also hear that humility, generosity, and kindness are valuable traits in a well-rounded individual. But many would prefer to be surrounded by people like that, rather than do the hard work required to actually exhibit these virtues.

We want to be seen, heard, and accepted.
Fame gets us that.
We want security, flexibility, and stability.
Fortune gets us that.
We want to be important, significant, and in control.
Power gets us that.

However, the more we understand about God’s economy, the more we know that it’s an upside down approach to life as we know it.

You want fame?
Reject the approval of man.
You want fortune?
Give it all away.
You want power?
Be a servant.

It doesn’t make sense.

Without God in the equation, it can be hard to let go of the pressure to make things happen for yourself. Our culture pushes a strong individualistic worldview to look out for #1. So letting go can feel like giving up! And to give up – is failure.

Especially in situations where we’ve worked so hard and deserve credit or recognition for our accomplishments. It is downright foolish to allow someone else the honour of our well-deserved and hard-earned accolades.

And yet this is what we’re called to…

I’ve been both awestruck and inspired by the story of a man named Joseph. Not Joseph, the stepdad of Jesus; but Joseph, the guy with the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.

We’re introduced to Joseph in Genesis 37 as a 17 year old punk kid with a big mouth and a chip on his shoulder. Need a recipe for worldly success? Joseph certainly appeared to aspire to that level of greatness.

Being the youngest of eleven brothers, Joseph would’ve had a lot to prove. Except lucky for him, he was their father’s favourite. And he knew it. So really, he didn’t even have to try to be noticed.

To add insult to injury for his ten older brothers, Joseph had a bunch of dreams implying that they would all serve him and even bow down to Joseph one day. Partly due to these outrageous dreams, as well as the preferential treatment shown to Joseph by their father, Joseph’s brothers orchestrated a plot to get rid of him.

Within just two small chapters (Genesis 37 and 39), we see that Joseph is ambushed, beaten, left for dead, sold into slavery, displaced to a foreign country, wrongfully accused of attempted rape, and wrongfully imprisoned as a result.

What Joseph lived through in these chapters is absolutely horrific. It’s the kind of stuff that would make a great movie, but nothing you’d ever sign up for in real life.

When we first met Joseph, he was arrogant, proud, entitled… all characteristics that come so naturally to so many of us (myself included, I assure you). And honestly, the most successful go-getters will often utilize these characteristics in order to achieve the success they crave.

Joseph’s trials changed him in remarkable ways. What I want to highlight here is just one little verse out of the many chapters that cover Joseph’s life.

So Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; but God will give Pharaoh the answer he wants, an answer of peace.”

– Genesis 41:16

If you don’t know how the rest of the story unfolds, this will be a major spoiler, my apologies.

But the guy that Pharaoh summoned from PRISON to interpret his dreams, pivots into the second in command of the most powerful empire the world had ever known.

But HOW?!

Because he trusted God. Because he gave God credit.

Because even though he was able to interpret dreams and was recognized throughout the land for it, he didn’t see it as a skill to practice or improve through hard work and will power.

He recognized that his ability to interpret dreams was a gift from God.

He did nothing to earn it, and could do nothing to keep it. He simply trusted in God’s sovereignty. Because of this, he didn’t fret about his fate. Rather, he placed his life in the capable hands of God. The One who could turn a young, foreign captive into a powerful ruler.

When I reflect on my own life; my own dreams, ambitions, aspirations… it’s easy to worry that things won’t turn out the way I hope or envision. I have big dreams and big hopes, as we all do! But Joseph’s story is such a valuable lesson for me.

You see, based on what I’ve come to learn about God’s character, I just can’t imagine Him raising Joseph to prominence had he still been running his mouth about how he’d be in a position of power someday.

He had to learn true humility. And learn to give credit where credit is due. For when the time came for him to prove himself and make something of himself, Joseph could say with quiet confidence (rather than arrogant pride)… it’s not me, it’s Him.

I know it can feel scary to let go of the reins and trust that God’s got you. But take heart! There’s more comfort to be found in Joseph’s story regarding this brave call to faith.

Just in chapter 39 alone, we read that, the Lord was with Joseph, not once or twice, not thrice, but SEVEN TIMES!!! That’s a big deal. If you’re like me, you know there’s no earthly success that can replace the peace of mind in knowing the Lord is with you.

Which is why I want to make clear that by success in this post, I’m definitely not referring to the rhetoric of the prosperity gospel, as I’m a staunch opponent of this view. The way I interpret godly success is in the Lord’s presence and provision. To sense that He is with me, and to know He is meeting my needs, there’s such goodness in that. I consider that to be a successful life.

And as Joseph told his brothers when they finally reunited, and Joseph’s childhood dreams are realized when all ten brothers bow before him:

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

– Genesis 50:20

The Bible doesn’t say this, but I’m willing to bet that Joseph couldn’t have predicted that his dreams would come to fruition in such a magnanimous way. Perhaps he thought his father would grant him the first born blessing, which was significant in those days, and that he’d be man of the house over his brothers. But to be second to no one but the mighty Pharaoh? It’s almost absurd.

But that’s God for you. In His upside down economy, it just doesn’t make sense.

Paul’s words in Romans are an echo of this inspiring story:

Be encouraged, friend! When it feels like everyone else is figuring it out, working it out, and getting ahead, remember this: you are not behind if you are walking with God. You are exactly where you need to be for Him to do a good work in your life. And as long as you’re giving Him the credit for the good, He’ll keep working it out for your true success.

Join me in saying, it’s not me, it’s Him, and we’ll see Him work out so many things for our good, His glory, and for His kind of success.

What’s in the Ears

I’ve had this song on repeat for months. I now find it SO well suited for this post. Enjoy!

I would love to know your thoughts on this definition of success! Does is resonate? Send me a message or comment below!

Sustainable

Published on by tinavila206 Comments

Alt title: Sleepless, but not in Seattle

Something’s been going down in the Avila household over the last several months – if I could give you a more specific timeframe, I would. But alas, my fried brain refuses me that luxury. That thing is: sleepless nights.

If you don’t already know, I pride myself in being a stern mother. My boys were sleep trained from young ages and slept for a solid 12 hours well before their first birthdays. Go me!

Hmmm ok so what’s that verse again? Pride comes before disaster, and arrogance before a fall….. ah yes. Well in case you were wondering, it was written with yours truly in mind. Thanks, Proverbs 16:18.

Basically, the longer I’m a parent, the less I know.

Before kids, I knew EXACTLY what to do about everything. Now? Let’s just say, the more trips I take around the sun with my three little shadows, the more questions I have about everything I thought I knew.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say: no one’s sleeping.

Where we host the overnight circus

You may be asking yourself, why is an entire blog post being devoted to kids’ sleep problems? Thank you, that’s a fair question, Loraine. But this post just had to happen at some point because it’s literally taking over my very existence.

Despite having tried everything EVERYTHING we can think of, our three year old wakes multiple times in the night, and the disjointed sleep has had adverse effects on my mental health.

Effects of Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation affects everyone differently. In fact, it’s rumoured that there are unicorns among us who are hardly affected by lack of sleep at all. Good for you! But we can’t be friends. Bye, Loraine.

Besides the obvious (ie: physical exhaustion, foggy brain, etc), lack of sleep manifests itself for me in the following ways:

  • short temper
  • dark thoughts
  • hopelessness
  • apathy
  • lethargy
  • self-destructive tendencies
  • mild depression
  • resting bitch face

When you’re raising young children, these are ugly things to contend with. Yet it pains me to admit, here we are.

The Thorn in my Side

In his second letter to the Corinthian church, the Apostle Paul tells them about a thorn in the flesh that he claims keeps him humble:

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

– II Corinthians 12:8-10

We don’t know what the thorn actually was. Some speculate a physical ailment, others think he was referring to persecution.

The specifics are not important.

What is important, is that God chose to not relieve him of this thorn so that Paul would increase his dependency on Christ for strength.

Wow, can I ever relate to that.

When I carve out time to spend in prayer and God’s Word, He empowers me to take on my day in a strength of spirit that just does not make sense based on the amount of sleep I get.

When my natural inclination is to spiral into negative thoughts and self destructive tendencies… His right hand sustains me. His gentleness makes me great (Psalm 18:25), and I can be the wife and mom my family needs, because I’m not depending on my own strength. Instead, I’m forced to lean into Jesus to fill in the gaps I simply don’t have the capacity for on my own.

My lifeline

Great is Thy Faithfulness

During one of my desperate moments before the Lord, I was asking Him to sustain me through a long day when my husband was due back home long after dinner and bedtime. I came across this verse:

The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort (sustain, encourage) a tired and weary people. Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will.

– Isaiah 50:4

In parenting, as in life, I want His wise words to be what overflows from me. I NEED His comfort, sustenance, and encouragement to not only bless the tired and weary who may cross my path, but because I am tired and weary myself!

The real gem is in that last line. Personally, I find that morning by morning line to be a nod to Lamentations!

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness.

– Lamentations 3:22-23

Every morning is a new opportunity to be met with His faithful love, mercy, and grace. Although circumstances may be the same (for me, utter exhaustion is my constant companion), I have learnt through these Scriptures and others, that I’m not alone. The Lord is with me. He gives me what I need. And He can use it all for my growth.

Because I’ve come to recognize that everything He gives me is either GOOD, or it’s FOR. MY. GOOD!

So if I get some sleep, then that’s good.

But if I’m sleep deprived, it’s for my good that I’m then forced into deeper dependency on Him to do what I cannot do, namely: be emotionally stable.

Sleep for His Beloved… and a Good Laugh?

I was reminded recently of a psalm that talks of children as a gift from God. But it was the verse just above it that had me burst out laughing at the irony. Y’all, these two verses are literally one after the other. You can’t make this stuff up:

2 for God gives rest to those He loves.
3 Children are a gift from the Lord; 
they are a reward from him

– Psalm 127:2-3

Please tell me you see the humour.

I am believing for that real rest that God promises to those He loves…

But then following after with that cheeky little reminder that children are a gift? A reward? Come on, God! I’m too tired and weary to appreciate that truth in this season!

But He doesn’t let me off the hook. He keeps making a way for me to carry on with more reminders of His goodness and provision.

28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

– Matthew 11:28-30

I’m reminded here that I can carry anything when I carry it with Jesus. When I learn from Him, when I lean into Him for the strength to do it.

So as I conclude with bloodshot eyes and a chorus of yawns, I hope this encourages you in whatever burden you carry.

Is it this endless pandemic? Marital strain? A toxic work environment? Estranged loved one?

Or something that doesn’t feel like it should be a big deal… but you can’t help that it really is. Like not getting enough sleep? I can say with confidence: I may be struggling in sleeplessness, but He sustains me. There’s goodness in that.

What’s in the Ears

Ok I know I say it every time, but listen with lyrics! This song is just too good.

Is there a thorn in your own side that’s got you on your knees in prayer just to survive the day? You are not alone!
Please reach out to me to vent, for prayer, or anything else! I love to hear from you!

The Voice and The Word

Published on by tinavila206 Comments

It was October 2020. I was in the driver’s seat of my mombile (van), waiting for my kids to be let out of school. The day was damp and wet. Leaves hadn’t yet started falling, but they were just beginning to change colours. The towering elder trees stretching their branches like a canopy across the roads surrounding the school are absolutely beautiful at that time of year.

I try to get to school a little early to snag a prime parking spot for a quick getaway, and also so I could pray and prepare my heart before the boys and I are reunited. On this particular fall day, my music streaming app started playing Voice of God.

I literally could not believe my ears…

So this week, I’m changing things up and starting the post with WHAT’S IN THE EARS because this song burst me open in the best way on that autumn day. I not only saw God in a different way, but also came to a new understanding of how I actually connect with Him. So I’m excited to share the insight I gleaned from that moment and how it’s changed me.

What’s in the Ears

Click here for lyrics!

Fair warning: God’s presence is heavy in this video. But don’t dismiss it! If you’ve watched footage of chicks passing out at rock concerts, or grown men foaming at the mouth over football, you already know that we, as people, can be moved by our passions. So just take it all in!

The song starts with Dante Bowe rattling off anything and everything under the sun. Putting into word pictures what God’s Voice is actually like in the real world. The crackle of a bonfire… children’s laughter…

The every day sounds of life that I believe are God’s gift to us.

Things that add colour and music to life. That make life worth living. Stuff that won’t make headlines. Just the simple and the beautiful. The quiet, mundane moments. But the ones that can make you smile and make you feel alive.

In those moments… God speaks in those moments.

NYC from the Hudson. Definitely heard God’s Voice here.

The first two verses and two choruses end with a variation of:

It’s just something I can’t explain,
but it makes me wanna cry…

And that’s the truth, y’all.

All this writing is my bumbling attempt at putting a few words together to convey who God is, who He is to me, and what hearing His Voice means in my life.

That’s what I love about this song. It’s not rich with theology, or heavy with scripture (which the nerd in me typically gravitate towards!), but it’s hard not to sense God’s presence as you listen. And it can make a grown girl cry.

The interlude with Steffany Gretzinger and Chandler Moore is just straight anointed. Gretzinger sings part of Holy Holy Holy at one point and it’s chilling. Moore pours this out:

I remembered that day
When He called my name
Nothing was the same (Voice of God)
Because of the Voice, yeah (It’s the Voice of God)
And everything was changed
I saw myself in a different way
Because of (Voice of God)
Yeah (It’s the voice of God)
Before there were so many noises
I made so many wrong choices listening to other voices
(Voice of God)
But now I hear (It’s the Voice of God)
And He is still speaking
He is still declaring
That He is the Voice
Yeah (It’s the Voice of God)
Creation responds
The wind still obeys
The Voice of God

emphasis added
My fav spot to hear Him

The Word

Soaking in this song all those months ago… I had a lightbulb moment thinking about God’s Voice and how we all hear Him differently. He doesn’t speak the same way to everyone. He made us all unique, and part of that is hearing Him uniquely. And that’s the beauty of the whole dang thing.

For me, God speaks through music, if that ain’t obvious! But also, through His Word. The things that jump off the pages of scripture, I can’t explain. The people in the Bible, the overall story. It feels like I’m reading my own life. That the words are directed at me and for me. I get it at an existential level. I am often brought to tears over a familiar passage as God shows me something new about Himself, or myself, or this precious world He created and how it all works together.

I know not everyone experiences this when reading the Bible. And though I believe that level of experiential reading is available to all of us, I also believe that the uniqueness of each person means that God uses different ways to connect with each of us.

Some other moments Bowes lists where God’s Voice can be heard:

  • ocean water (creation)
  • the laughter of a loved one (relational)
  • a choir singing hymns (worship)
  • the hush of a midnight hour (contemplative)
  • the final breath of a loved one passing (service)

This is just my interpretation of these beautiful moments:

  • You may hear God through His creation. And being in nature makes you come alive and you can’t explain, but it makes you wanna cry.
  • You may hear Him by connecting with other people. In religious terms we’d call that fellowship. But I think any relational moment with people who are good to you and can speak truth into your life can be a powerful Voice of God moment.
  • I already mentioned music, but it’s worth emphasizing because this is an entire post about hearing God through a song. Music has a way of connecting us to the One who is worthy of our praise. That’s why we call it worship.
  • For those of us who are less socially inclined, moments of quiet solitude can scream God’ Voice. That a moment in prayer isn’t just a desperate cry to the ceiling, but true dialogue in a contemplative moment.
  • The last one I’ll mention is one that inspires me so much. Serving others in their moment of need is such a beautiful opportunity to hear God’s Voice. I am so moved by the way someone feels so close to God by simply being there for someone who can do nothing to repay them. Simple acts of service are how we show God’s love to people, and He uses those opportunities to speak to us as we serve.

I left out any scripture reference intentionally this week to make a point. If you’ve read my blog before, you know I’m really into quoting God’s Word. And as I said earlier, it is my go-to way to connect with God. But there are so many more that didn’t even get mentioned on my limited list.

Pro tip: pick a translation of the Bible that keeps you engaged. A parallel Bible is a great way to get more out of your reading! Or try audio, like through the YouVersion app!

If you’re trying to hear God’s Voice, He WILL speak to you. He promises that in His Word (which happens to be my personal favourite). If you’re unfamiliar with the Bible, and looking for tips on where to start, please reach out to me!
And if you’re already connecting with God in other ways without even realizing it, then I couldn’t be more happy for you if this post was a lightbulb moment for you too!

In my darkest, ugliest, deepest despair, God has spoken to me, changing everything. Not audibly, but in those whispers only the depths can perceive. I pray the same for you.
How do you hear the Voice of God? And tell me, what do you think of this song?!
Send me a message or comment below!

The Fight for Peace

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

Before Covid and lockdowns, social distancing and hand sanitizer. Before quarantine and face masks, virtual school and flattening the curve.

Before any of that became a regular part of our everyday vernacular, I didn’t know what it truly means to fight for peace.

Weeks into the first lockdown, I wrote this and I still stand by it. But I’ve learnt a few things since then.

Above all, I’ve learnt to….

Fight for peace

I just love that phrase.

Partly because it’s a juxtaposition, and I’m always down for a good nerdy wordplay.

But also because I have felt its full manifestation in my life and in my home this past year like nothing else.

That virtual school life

I spent the early days of the pandemic scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, just taking it all in. The world as I knew it hadn’t imploded just yet, nor was it quite so divided, but boy did all that change quickly.

I found myself getting emotionally riled over not just articles, statuses, and videos… but the comment sections.

Oh, the comment sections.

I know how dramatic this sounds, but it felt like being transported to a war zone. Observing the chaos of hostility, I’d watch the comments, insults, accusations, slander… and from people I know!

I’d put my phone down and carry the emotional load of everything I’d just scrolled through, right into my home with my family.

By contrast, my home life was peaceful, and as serene as it can be with three young children. My husband was at peace; my children, content.

But I? I was an emotional wreck.

Losing my peace felt like handing out scrap flyers on a busy street corner.

God’s peace was His precious gift to me and my family in the middle of these unprecedented times and I was throwing it in the trash, replacing it with deep unrest in my spirit.

And it was affecting our home life.

Misunderstandings and arguments between husband and wife came easily, then. My children were tormented by a rash and volatile mother as I took my rising anxiety out on them.

Finally, I recognized what was happening: that by giving away my peace, I was allowing chaos and conflict in its stead.

Then, I recognized what I had to do: that for peace to reign in my home, I had to fight for it.

Bill Johnson says in Raising Giant-Killers, that an atmosphere of peace is an important building block of a healthy home. So one of my primary roles as a parent, is to make my home a haven for peace.

Raising Giant-Killers by Bill Johnson: 10/10 would recommend

Once I recognized that I was giving away peace rather than fighting for it, I knew I had to make some changes.

My Steps to Peace

  • I deleted the Facebook app off of my phone
  • I asked of my loved ones (my husband, family, and closest friends) to put me on a need-to-know basis regarding topics that were stealing my joy and peace

Google’s got the best explanation of a need-to-know basis: If you tell people something on a need-to-know basis, you only tell them the facts they need to know, at the time they need to know them, and nothing more.

Maybe it’s an ignorant, head-in-the-sand, borderline apathetic coping mechanism. But that’s the thing, we’re all trying our best to cope with what this past year has brought us. And by distancing myself from things that peak my interest in the moment, but cause me terrible unrest in the long run, I’m now able to better focus on the things that actually fill me with peace and better equip me to face my day with those right in front of me, rather than strangers on the other side of a screen.

I’m reminded of this exhortation from the Apostle Paul:

Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.

– Philippians 4:8

I don’t know about you, but it’s super hard for me to focus on any part of that lovely list when I’m filling my head instead with fear-inducing headlines, provocative status updates, or slanderous comment sections.

Quite honestly, it has been a lot of work! As the writer of Hebrews put it:

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

– Hebrews 12:11

It’s often hard to maintain the discipline of guarding my mind from sensationalized events and topics that rob me of peace. But it’s made all the difference in marriage and in parenting.

I still have a thousand hard moments and bad days, believe me. A dark and dreary January attested to that. But I’m certain it’d be a zillion without the discipline of fighting for peace and allowing the peace of God to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7).

Fighting for peace?

Part of last year’s discipline was memorizing the book of James. (If you’re interested in memorizing scripture: Check out these tips!) While I was going through it, one particular verse stood out to me and hasn’t sat back down since. It reads:

Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

– James 3:18

With the word raise, my mind went instantly to raising children.

More than anything, I want to raise my children to be in right standing with God. That the righteousness of Jesus would cover them. And I acknowledge a big part of my role as their mother is to foster an environment where peace will reign.

I also love the TPT translation which says,

…and it always bears the beautiful harvest of righteousness! Good seeds of wisdom’s fruit will be planted with peaceful acts by those who cherish making peace.

– James 3:18

I have to ask myself:

Do I cherish making peace? Am I planting seeds of wisdom with acts of peace? Or do I allow fear and chaos to take root in the hearts of my loved ones, so that their actions and reactions are rooted in fear, rather than faith?

All your children will be taught by the Lord,
    and great will be their peace.
In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
    you will have nothing to fear.

– Isaiah 54:13-14

Who am I listening to? What is filling my ears, my thoughts?

“But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.”

– Proverbs 1:33

Whatever I give my attention to, that’s what’s filling me up.

Put another way… you attract what you hunger for.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

– Matthew 5:6

Am I hungry for gossip? Drama? Controversy? Conspiracy? Slander? It is all soooooooo easily available to me. But it won’t fill me with peace. I have to fight against all that.

I have to fight for peace.

I sense God’s presence, leading, and direction through an inexplicable increase of peace in my spirit. And I will chase that high till the day I die. No amount of fame, approval, money, or worldly security can compare to the peace that surpasses logical understanding.

I invite you to taste and see how good the Lord really is!

Taste of His goodness; see how wonderful the Eternal truly is. Anyone who puts trust in Him will be blessed and comforted.

– Psalm 34:18

What’s in the Ears

I truly cannot think of a better song to capture the essence of what I hope my own words might across. *Listen with lyrics!

Has this post comforted, challenged, or even annoyed you? I’d love to know about it! Please comment below, or send me a message!

When in Rome

Published on by tinavila202 Comments

If you thought this was a post on travel in the middle of a pandemic lockdown, y’all don’t know me very well. Sorry to disappoint! Truth is, the moment those borders open up, I’m heading straight to Detroit to give Target all my money in exchange for all the things.

Until that blessed day, this is actually about what I consider to be the most relatable words the Apostle Paul ever wrote, found in his letter to the church in Rome.

Since this post will compare parts of Romans 7 and 8, you can read those excerpts here, or check them out below:

So here’s what’s up:

It’s occurred to me that I sometimes give the impression of “having it all together”. Something about being an Enneagram 3?

Well the truth is… it isn’t true. And this passage from Romans gives me the perfect opportunity to prove it.

What I find incredibly refreshing about Paul’s writing in this part of Romans 7, is how deeply personal it is. Read on to see what I mean.

English teacher nerd alert:

In most of Romans, as in his other letters, Paul describes struggles with sin using the First-Person plural, employing us and we pronouns. And just as frequently, uses the Second-Person narrative, you, to unpack his teachings. It’s the latter especially that removes him from the issues he’s addressing in his letters.

But in Romans 7, he blurts out what sounds to me like the first Catholic-vibe confessional. It’s like he’s rambling on about his struggles. He’s a little repetitive, a little redundant, and seemingly more than just a little exasperated.

Honestly, it’s like Paul was telling my story. Literally sentiments I utter to myself on the regular. Here’s one of my favourite lines:

I don’t understand what I do. I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do. I do what I don’t want to do!  

– Romans 7: 15-16

So this is where the transparency comes in… if you haven’t at least skimmed Romans 7:13-24 up there, please do.

It’s my heart in a nutshell, because this is the truth: I love Jesus with all my heart. I am humbled by His sacrifice, I am moved by His grace, and I am deeply passionate about living my life to honour Him.

However, I’m stuck. So very deeply stuck in this battle within myself. Paul puts it SO well by saying,

…if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! 

– Romans 7:21

So here it is. What I struggle with most is: P A R E N T I N G.
When discussing my parenting woes, I jokingly say: I was very patient until I had kids. Or, I didn’t have anger issues until I became a mom.

Nothing humbles me more than my day in/day out, revolving door, uphill battle with sin in parenting.

I have three great amazing kids. They’re not perfect. Obviously. But being their mother sure does show me how imperfect I am.

Everyday I tell myself, this is the day I won’t shout at them. This is the day I’ll be exceedingly patient. And although some days are certainly better than others…

What I don’t understand about myself, is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.

– Romans 7:15 (also, literally me)

On hard days, I feel like I’m living in a Romans 7 Groundhog Day. Where I get yet another chance to get it right, only to find that nothing’s changed and I’m repeating all the old habits of old nature Tina.

I know how cute this looks. And I know how good I have it.
We’re watching church online while my kids hold their Bibles. I mean, come on!
But folks, this was an ugly parenting day.

Knowing what God’s standards are only makes it harder. And this is the exact point Paul’s making in chapter 7. The law cannot transform the old nature; it can only reveal how sinful that old nature is. When I try to live under the law by following God’s standards, I’m only activating the old nature; I could never eradicate it. Because bottom line, the law cannot enable me to do good (W. W. Wiersbe).

What the law (God’s standards) is supposed to do, is show us that we keep missing it. Paul’s chapter 7 ramblings show us exactly that as he ends with:

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me?

– Romans 7:24

I’m so glad Paul was this candid about his struggle against sin. It’s a relief because, hello, he’s the Apostle Paul!

But he turns a corner in Romans 8 where the ah ha! moment hits, and we can understand the fundamental difference between living for God and allowing His Spirit to live through us.

You see, there comes a moment in every Christian’s journey where, in the New Nature, we must stop saying, “I will now live for God!”, because we’ll always fail in that. True victory over sin is possible, but it cannot be won by us. No, it’s already been won by Christ! We must learn, as Paul did, that it is a matter of yielding, submitting, and letting the Spirit of God to live the Christian life through us.

As Paul said in another letter:

It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

– Galatians 2:20

(I’ve got a cool story about that verse which you can check out in this post!)

And that’s where we can finally begin to understand the beauty of Romans 8. You see, without chapter 7, there’s no way we could fully appreciate the profound truths of chapter 8.

Early in chapter 8, Paul establishes that,

The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. 

– Romans 8:4

He then goes to extreme lengths to show how deeply loved we are by God. That if we surrender to Christ, and allow His Spirit to live through us, there is NOTHING that can separate us from His love for us.

The following passage makes a great case for how my sin struggle doesn’t get to win. No matter how dark or discouraging it might feel.

Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times…. not even the worst sins listed in Scripture… None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus has embraced us.

– Romans 8:35-39

So listen y’all, secret’s out. I shared the truth about the ugly in my parenting. And though it pains me to be seen in that light, it’s liberating to know that because I’ve surrendered it to the Lord, I truly am free of it! And…

…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

– Romans 8:37

So I don’t want to live in the defeat of a Romans 7 lawbreaker, but in the victory of a Romans 8 conqueror!

What’s in the Ears

Last blog post I introduced this segment where I’ll be sharing songs that have moved or inspired me! This song was heavy on my heart as I prepared this post. Enjoy!

Does this post resonate with you? We don’t like talking about our weaknesses, but if the Apostle Paul could do it, so can we!
Let me know if this struck a chord!

Hopeful New Year to You!

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures, and the encouragement they provide, we might have hope as we wait for God’s promises to be fulfilled.

– Romans 15:4

Confession #1: Did I combine two translations of that verse to make my point? Maybe. Does that make me a Bible scholar or a blasphemer? Hmmm nevermind, let’s carry on…

It goes without saying that the holidays were different this year. It seems like everyone I knew was missing someone they love. My family was no exception.

But the more I reflect on this past Christmas, and 2020 as a whole; or even now, at the dawn of 2021 with another Covid lockdown and ongoing political unrest, I can’t help but be filled with H O P E.

I mentioned in my last post (which you can read here) that I’m encouraged by seeing how my own life parallels the lives of those in the Scriptures. And I’m comforted when discovering that part of my journey mirrors that of someone in the Bible.

I get excited to think that maybe, just maybe, God’s going to do a really cool thing that I just never would’ve expected… just like He did in the Bible!

And that’s basically what Romans 15:4 is saying.

Paul is telling the persecuted church in Rome that the Old Testament writings play a HUGE role in teaching them how to live through hardship, in encouraging them through hardship, in reminding them of what God has done!

And all of this is meant to fill them with HOPE as they wait for God to deliver what He had promised.

Pretty sunset inspiring hope for a bright tomorrow

Confession #2: I have this thing that happens to me when someone opens up about a hardship they’re facing. I get [secretly VERY] excited. But not like when a new movie comes out, or when the server is heading your way with that Fettuccine Alfredo.

It’s more like this:

Hardship tells me that God is at work. In my mind, it’s just a simple equation.
Going through something difficult builds my faith, stretches me, and forces me to be grow in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise. It sure is painful, and sometimes downright tragic! But if we place our hope in God, He ALWAYS works out all things for our good, and His glory. (Romans 8:28)

The God of Hopeless Situations

Adam and Eve being kicked out of paradise for disobeying God feels like a hopeless situation. (Gen. 3)

Abraham (with a barren wife), was promised by God that He’d make him into a great nation. But elderly Abraham still waiting decades for a son, feels like a hopeless situation. (Gen. 15-16, 21)

Joseph’s symbolic dreams of ruling over his family, only to be nearly killed, sold into slavery, wrongfully accused and imprisoned feels like a hopeless situation. (Gen. 37, 39-45)

Moses, an 80 year old fugitive with a stutter being called to free God’s chosen people out of slavery from the most powerful empire the world had ever known feels like a hopeless situation. (Ex. 2-5)

David, just a kid, overlooked by anyone who mattered, suddenly the king’s big strategy for military victory feels like a hopeless situation. (I Sam. 17)

Mary, doing everything right and still winding up pregnant while unmarried feels like a hopeless situation. (Luk. 1)

Kathleen’s successful mastectomy brings initial relief, but finding out the cancer has spread feels like a hopeless situation.

Lucas, arriving home from college for spring break, only to be the one to find his younger brother had just taken his life feels like a hopeless situation.

Tess falls in love with a man her family finally approves of, but when the physical and verbal abuse begin just moments into their honeymoon, she feels trapped in a hopeless situation.

Jack hitting rock bottom in his battle with alcohol dependency knowing he can no longer hide the truth of his addiction feels like a hopeless situation.

Paul, after countless interviews with no job in sight, and employment insurance about to run out feels like a hopeless situation.

Isla, pregnant and unsure if her baby will come home to daddy living with them feels like a hopeless situation.

These are all real people (some Biblical, some current), with real struggles that feel really hopeless.

But please friends!!! Don’t miss this! What we just read are snapshots. They’re not the big picture. Not the whole story. They’re just one angle, part way through the whole story!

God isn’t finished with you in the middle of your story. And He’s not finished with our grieving and broken world the way we’re seeing it right now.

From last NYE. Ringing in the new year with my main squeeze and no clue what 2020 had in store.

God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may only be aware of three of them.

– John Piper

Sometimes I think we’re so quick to tell God what He should do. That by speaking an action plan into a prayer, we’re somehow claiming it into fruition, and calling it bold faith.

We’re so quick to say that the Lord works in mysterious ways. (Isaiah 45:15) We say it almost flippantly! But do we believe it? God has always done unpredictable and unexpected things in His time.

I’ve learned that we’re much better off letting go of our expectations of what should happen, or when it should happen. Instead, let’s focus on just Him and more of Him in our lives!

He is still with us, still working, still has a plan. There is real comfort in His presence and He promises to NEVER leave us. Even in the hardship. ESPECIALLY IN THE HARDSHIP!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

– Deuteronomy 31:8

Through whatever I’ve struggled through in my own life, my BIGGEST takeaway is this:

God’s faithfulness fills me with hope.
Not only that, but His proven faithfulness…

  • to me personally
  • to those I know
  • and to those who’ve gone before us…

…tells me that He’s not going to break His track record of faithfulness on my current obstacle.
This is not going to be the thing that tells the world, God can’t be trusted. God is not faithful. It just won’t be! It’s never happened before. And He will not break His track record of faithfulness through the ages on me. Or on you. Or, frankly, on this global implosion.

Ok, I’m out. Getting off my soap box and hoping this year will be the most pleasantly surprising one yet!

One final note:
I’m starting a new thing with the blog this year!

At the end of each post will be a YouTube link to the song I’m currently vibing to.

Think of it as a sound wave from the overflow of my heart.

So much of what I write on here comes from the way I connect with God through the Scriptures, but also through song! So it made sense to share some of my favourites with you.
This segment will be titled:

What’s in the Ears

Here’s the first!

This is a Christmas song (ish) and if you know me at all, you know I’m never in a rush to be done with Christmas.
Well this one hits right in the feels at about 4:45. So, fair warning: tears may flow with this gem.

If you have thoughts, comments, or even prayer requests! Please let me know in the comments or send me a message!
Hearing from you is sincerely a highlight of my days.

So This is Christmas

Published on by tinavila2010 Comments

Christmas in the middle of a global pandemic… and just in time for another lockdown.

Words I never thought I’d type, unless I was writing a work of fiction. And sometimes that’s exactly what this all feels like.

Someone pinch me.

Since moving to Leamington nearly six years ago, our family visits Montreal to spend the holidays with our loved ones. So for me, pandemic Christmas means missing our family festivities for the first time in my life.

Not a tradition I was looking to break, if I’m being honest.

Home sweet home for Christmas

I’m trying not to be discouraged. I want to be positive, and cheerful, and I’m really trying to make the most of it. But honestly, I’m discouraged. I’m tired, and weary, and morale is so damn low. Because frankly, it sucks! And I’m just so disappointed.

And I know very well that I’m not the only one…

I often ask God how He could allow this to drag on the way it has. Doesn’t He understand how special Christmas is? Doesn’t He know how much we were looking forward to it, how much we need it? Especially after all we’ve been through! How could this be part of His plan?

I BELIEVE STRONGLY that misery loves company. Sharing our struggles with those who can relate is a huge consolation to us. It makes us feel seen, heard, and validated.

Well for me, this is no less true than when I dive into the Scriptures.

For the first time, I’m trying to take in the Christmas story by imagining myself as a woman living through the final scene of the 400 Years of Silence.

Yep! You read that right. 400 years of dead silence. Radio silence. Not-a-peep-from-God silence. After years of slavery, desert-wandering, war, famine, drought, and exile…


God.
Said.
Nothing.

Not a single word spoken through king, prophet, or priest.

Nothing. Just silence.

Ok now go there with me. How would you feel if your family was waiting for God to fulfill a big promise… and then still be waiting on it for hundreds and hundreds of years?

I’d be so over it. Honestly, I’m just not built for the kind of life of faith that kept God’s people faithful through much of the Old Testament.

But I guess that’s the point. They were not the faithful ones. He was. God was the Faithful One. Even when God’s people were faithless… even when we feel like we’ve lost hope or faith… God was, and is, still faithful. (II Timothy 2:13)

Even for us, this past year has often felt like endless, disappointing silence from the Lord. Waiting for restrictions to lift. Waiting for circumstances to change. Just waiting for the waiting to be over!

After all that waiting, and 400 years of silence, the Messiah finally enters the scene. Real deliverance was at hand! For so long God’s people had been waiting for redemption. For a Saviour. But it’s no wonder so many hardly noticed when Jesus arrived. The religious leaders who anticipated His coming didn’t recognize Him at all – and worse – they rejected the One born to save them.

They expected the might of a military power promised to them in the Scriptures.

Here’s one familiar passage that gave them this hope:

For to us a child is born,  
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

7 Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.

– Isaiah 9:6-7

So rather than a mighty ruler on a throne, what they got instead was a baby. And not just any baby. But a baby born into near-poverty, to a teenage mother, without a biological father. Oh, and on refugee status, to top it all off.

On one occasion, Jesus even told the religious leaders:

You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life.

– John 5:39-40

I can just picture myself as a woman in the first century. Waiting on the deliverance my family had been promised generations ago. Oppressed yet again by another governing power that’s doing nothing to honour the Lord…

Enter: Jesus.

Coming in all meek and mild – as one 18th century hymn writer put it. Giving no indication of any plans to stop the Roman oppression of God’s chosen people. Instead, He hardly addresses that elephant in the room at all, and talks instead of going the extra mile (Matt. 5:41), turning the other cheek (Matt. 5:39), giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s (Mark 12:17). Umm what?! Talk about a letdown! I’d be so confused. And fully understand why Jesus was rejected by so many.

But we know now that God wasn’t turning up on earth in the form of a baby to save Israel politically. He was doing so much more than that.

Because of His great love, His plan was to save us from the burden of sin and the consequence of death. Not because of our own goodness, but because of His great mercy. (Titus 3:5)

He was after soul transformation. Just as He still is today. For His kingdom is not of this world. (John 18:36)

So even if nothing changes externally, God’s working to change everything internally. To turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) To transform us from the inside out. If we’ll just let Him.

Don’t we still long for comfort in this waiting though? That’s why I’m reminded of these words from the great prophet Isaiah, and my heart soars… with the eagle’s nest. (Michael Scott, anyone?)

Writing with this view has been good for the soul.

I’ve included the link below to Isaiah 40 and even though it’s long, I promise you it’s SO worth the read.

Just note that this isn’t a typical Christmas passage, with the warm fuzzies turned up to Buddy the Elf festive levels. However, as I reflect upon it over this unique of Christmas days, it’s blessing me so much. I pray it does the same for you as well.

So pour yourself a holiday bevvy (coffee with eggnog and spiced rum for me) and curl up in front of your lit tree.
Then take a moment to reflect on these words of comfort amidst this seemingly endless season of waiting.

Life may not look the way you want it to. It certainly doesn’t to me. Not by a long shot! But let’s wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14) And let’s just see what He does with this hot mess.

Isaiah 40

“Comfort, comfort my people,”
    says your God.
2 “Speak tenderly to Jerusalem.
Tell her that her sad days are gone…….
    

Click here for the rest of Isaiah 40!!

As this is my last blog post of 2020, I also want to take this opportunity to express my deep gratitude for you, dear reader. Your dedicated readership has given me this special opportunity to write through this past year, and that blesses me more than I can begin to express in typed word.

Basic selfie where the magic happens at Starbucks Leam!
Snapped when I wrote the bulk of this post, before lockdown hit and I could no longer write at my favourite spot.

One final passage before signing off because it’s too good and i can’t help myself…

24 ‘May the Lord bless you
    and protect you.
25 May the Lord smile on you
    and be gracious to you.
26 May the Lord show you His favor
    and give you His peace.’

– Numbers 6:24-26

I pray the Lord’s blessing and favour over you and your loved ones in 2021.
Cheers to new beginnings! For if we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. (Romans 14:8)

Ok, I lied. I guess I did have one more Bible verse… don’t @ me.

But actually, please @ me (AKA: send me a comment, message, etc!) I really love to hear from you! Merry Christmas! Byeeeeeeeeee