Month: June 2022

The Obstacle

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!

Man ALIVE – did I ever struggle with this one. Turns out when God asks you to share about that one sin you struggle with most, it’s truly the WORST.

I’ve been putting this off and putting this off, and have had this sitting in my drafts crawling slowly to completion for at least 5 months now.

Well, here we are.

A post on pride.

And I’m pretending I’m not super annoyed about it.

I’ve previously mentioned that I get to journey through Bible study, prayer, and friendship with an amazing group of ladies, and recently we read through the classic by C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity. In it, Lewis devotes a chapter on what he titles, The Great Sin. Let me tell you, referring to pride as the great sin is a bold thing to do, even for C.S. Lewis. But he wasn’t the first to do it. The Scriptures are full of warning against pride, and rightfully so.

In Proverbs 8:13, God says He hates pride and arrogance.

Proverbs 16:5, says the Lord detests all the proud of heart and that they will not go unpunished.

Plenty of the Bible’s “heroes” brought grief upon themselves simply because of their blinding pride.

  • King David was blinded by his pride and didn’t recognize how awful his selfish acts truly were when he raped another man’s wife and had him killed to cover it up.
  • The prophet Jonah was filled with anger over the grace shown a repentant people who had turned back to God.
  • The Apostle Paul, originally, Saul, was physically blinded by God in order to reveal to him how spiritually blinded by pride he truly was.

Pride is the one thing that cannot fit in your journey of faith. I believe that God has much patience and grace for so much of our fleshly struggle, but pride? Pride says, I’ll do it my way. I know best. Pride rejects God before He can even begin to do a work in you.

  • “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”” – Luke 14:11
  • “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”” – James 4:6
  • “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” – 1 Peter 5:5

Pride acts a self-imposed barrier between us and God. It parks itself in that space where we should be bowing humbly with open arms ready to receive grace. Instead, pride stands in defiance, with nose upturned and arms crossed, judging anyone who isn’t as clever, attractive, wealthy, charismatic, or gifted. Pride misses the goodness God wants to lavish on His children.

Religion makes us proud of what we have done. The Gospel makes us proud of what Jesus has done.

– Tim Keller

I’m reminded of the story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. I’ve touched on this parable in a previous POST but at the time, my focus was on the Father in the story. Today, the pride of the eldest son – the dutiful, obedient, prideful son comes to mind.

In Luke 15, the two sons represent the two basic categories every person falls under when approaching God. Try to see where you land.

One son, after trying to make it on his own and wreaking havoc on his life, realizes he cannot save himself and humbly returns to his father, repentant, apologetic, and ready to submit to what he now knows is best for him: to live under the boundaries, but also the favour, of his Father.

The other son, the first born, the one who would have received the double portion of inheritance -follows all the rules and never deviates from what is expected of him.

So when the sinful brother returns and their father responds with lavish grace and celebration, the perfect son is scandalized at this and grows resentful. So resentful in fact, that he rejects the father and His affections.

His pride causes him to believe that his good works warranted not only a reward for his exemplary behaviour, but punishment for his brother’s lousy behaviour as well.

As C.S. Lewis puts it,

Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person.

In pride, it isn’t enough that we get to enjoy God’s grace, but pride takes that pleasure to another level where it somehow only feels good to know that others, especially if they’re not like us, do not get to enjoy God’s grace as we do.

It’s heartbreaking to realize that the parable Jesus told does not actually conclude with the prideful brother joining the welcome party. Only that the Father tries to help him see what a joy it is that the lost sheep was found, that the prodigal son had returned.

But there is no mention of how the dutiful son responds. For all we know he simply left. Or he stayed and allowed his crossed arms of pride continue to envelop him tighter into bitterness. I’m betting on the latter. Even though both sons were in need of the Father’s grace and forgiveness.

We can be immoral dead people, or we can be moral dead people. Either way, we’re dead. The mercy of God reaches down and rinses clean not only obviously bad people, but fraudulently good people, both of whom equally stand in need of resurrection. 

– Dane C. Ortlund

So you see, (to quote Lewis again) as long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud person is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see Something that is above you.

We know that it was through pride that the devil became the devil and through pride that every other sin comes about. The belief that we know better than God about what is best for us.

We say that God is love and we assume that the opposite of love is hate. But as David Platt puts it,

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s pride.

And in the end, this what I absolutely love so much about the Philippians 2 passage I shared about in my Easter post. If there’s anyone who had the right to be proud, it was Jesus. And yet, the writer tells us that though He is literally God, He made Himself NOTHING and became obedient to death.

It concludes by telling us that in the end every knee will bow and every mouth will confess that Jesus is Lord.

So my takeaway is this:

God humbles you, or you humble yourself. Either way, you end humbled.

And I know it goes against everything in our prideful, selfish nature to bow the knee and give up lordship of our own lives, but there’s no other way to truly become all we were created for.

He is a force more powerful than we could ever reckon with, and though He comes gently with sacrificial love, He still hates pride. And I just don’t want my stubborn pride to be an obstacle between us. Do you?

I know there’s a lot to work through on one’s faith journey and it can be scary to trust that Someone else knows what’s best for you. But pride lies to us when it tells us that we know best.

You don’t have to give up your intellect to trust the Bible [and God].
You have to give up your pride.

– R.C. Sproul

What’s in the Ears

Does the topic of pride hit close to home for you too? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, send me a message, and share this with a friend too!

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!

A Lament

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!

If you’ve been on this journey with me long enough, you know I love to exposit the Scriptures and share my own findings as God teaches me from His Word.

And though I still do, I’m struggling. Amidst some recent depression over the state of our world and anxiety over changes coming in my future, I feel stuck. So for the first time in the two and a half years since I started this blog, I’m experiencing what the literary greats refer to as: writer’s block.

You see although I still enjoy reading the Scriptures and still learn a lot from studying the Bible, my heart is tired, and my spirit – a little lost. The only way I can think to express what this writer’s block feels like is, lament.

Here’s my working definition of lament:

An expression of heartbreak or grief because something you are experiencing does not line up with what you understand about God.

So, without much else inspiring greatness, I thought we’d explore laments and see where we land.

The book of Psalms is full of laments where the psalmists express passionate grief or sorrow over a number of things, such as their own sin, helpless situations, loss, heartbreak, etc.

We might sometimes think of laments as being disrespectful or irreverent towards a holy God. But actually, a lament is the appropriate response to the heartache we live through or the pain we experience.

Paul E. Miller says,

A lament takes seriously the mismatch between God’s promise and some aspect of the brokenness of this world. Instead of suppressing the dissonance between hope and reality, it transforms it into a prayer.

So instead of being afraid to admit the struggle, we direct the pain toward God knowing He is the only one who won’t be crushed by the full spectrum of our emotions, or the full depth of our pain.

We are reminded through the Scriptures that even God laments! In both Ezekiel 33 and Jeremiah 12, God talks about how He laments the destruction of the wicked. It grieves Him to see His people turn away from Him and invite the destruction that their sin has provoked.

So when we join God in lamenting over how evil is having its way in our world and in our lives, we are not responding flippantly to God because of the pain. But aligning ourselves with Him and with His character, recognizing that something is not right and choosing to run to Him, to pour ourselves out to Him, as our response.

Here is one of my favourite examples of a scriptural psalm of lament:

O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
    nor discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
    heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled.
    But you, O Lord—how long?
4 Turn, O Lord, deliver my life;
    save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you;
    in Sheol who will give you praise?
6 I am weary with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with tears;
    I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief;
    it grows weak because of all my foes.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil,
    for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my plea;
    the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled;
    they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

– Psalm 6

The psalmist, David, starts by expressing his struggle to God and y’all, it’s dramatic. He goes on about how he’s weary from moaning, flooding his bed with tears, and drenching his couch from weeping. I mean, between my daughter and me and our drama queen vibes, I can recognize big feelings!

But he takes a turn by the end and places his hope in God saying that his enemies will be ashamed and troubled. We know this had not yet happened, and that his circumstances had not yet changed because he talks about this happening in the future.

This tells us that we can be honest about how hard things are, while simultaneously trusting that God will care for us and provide for us. That He will make things right. That He will fulfill His promises and be true to His unchanging character. So the psalmist can still lament while putting His hope in God to come through for Him.

And that’s where I’m at today.

A lot just doesn’t feel right within me. I’m anxious about the future as a 10-year season with babies at home is drawing to a close. My daughter starts school in the fall and I find myself anxious about what the future holds for me.

And without fully understanding why, it’s become a significant source stress.

Even after months of processing the decision, I can’t bring myself to pray about it without speechlessly breaking down in tears before the Lord.

It’s just not like me. And if someone else told me about this struggle, I know I’d have all the right answers and encouraging words to say.

So here’s a little lament for ya…

I’m scared. I’m scared of giving up the things I love in order to work a job I hate.

I’m perplexed at why the things I love to do can’t be lucrative like they seem to be for other people.

I’m angry that despite sacrificing so much for my family and the Kingdom, it doesn’t feel like I’ve got much to show for it.

And that brings me to:

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome simply means that you believe you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.

That’s a whole other aspect to my experience that we won’t explore here, but it got me thinking about imposter syndrome in a larger, spiritual sense.

Why do we think God won’t work it out? Or that He won’t come through?

We know there are no guarantees, and anything can happen. However, the critical part of a lament is truly believing that God really WILL come through! Despite what our eyes can see and our experiences reveal.

It’s recognizing that we have this hope that anchors our souls, firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19).

It’s more than wishful thinking. It’s more than hoping for the best and planning for the worst. It’s truly knowing that God will work all things out for our good and His glory.

That’s the only place I can really land on today. I’m still brought to tears every time I think about my unknown future. So, I can relate to David when he’s drenching his pillow and drowning in tears.

Yet even as I reflect on that, I’m reminded of another psalm that says,

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

– Psalm 56:8

So you see, friend, even our tears are not wasted. Even our sorrow is precious in His sight. He keeps a close eye and detailed account of the tears of His faithful ones because He is FOR those who trust in Him.

And when we’re heartbroken, He only draws closer. (Psalm 34:18)

What’s in the Ears

I hope this lament exploration blessed you as much as it has blessed me. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or send me a message, and share with a friend too!

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and Anchor!