Month: November 2021

What a Disappointment

Published on by tinavila20Leave a comment

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I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed…

Anyone had that line thrown at them growing up? It stings, doesn’t it? We can easily feel like we’ve fallen out of someone’s good graces when we’ve disappointed them.

Or maybe you just can’t look at someone the same way after being so painfully let down. The relationship has changed and you can’t seem to come back from that disappointment.

Our loved ones disappoint us, we disappoint them. We are fickle and relationships change.

Thankfully, God is not like us.

Although sin stirs His anger, His love for us CAN. NEVER. CHANGE.

Here’s why:

1. God is omniscient

(All-knowing)

Meaning, He knows all that has happened, is happening, and will happen. God knows it all. Which means He created us knowing we would fall short of His standards.

…for all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory.

– Romans 3:23

And yet God chooses to heal and forgive you!

He delights over you with gladness! He will calm all your fears and rejoice over you with song.

– Zephaniah 3:17

Despite knowing your worst, God chooses to bless you and include you in His good plans to bless others!

In love [God] chose us before He laid the foundation of the universe! Because of His great love, He ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence.

– Ephesians 1:4

God sees us from a divine perspective

This is significant, so don’t miss this!

When we surrender our lives to Jesus, His glory is magnified in our lives, and He forgives our wickedness and remembers our sins no more. (Hebrews 8:12)

Friends, He doesn’t even remember our sins! How can God be omniscient AND also forget our sin?

Because He chooses to see Jesus’ atoning work on the cross to redeem us instead!

An omniscient God can be trusted to know that Jesus’ sacrifice truly is the best plan of salvation imaginable. We couldn’t come up with something better if we had a thousand lifetimes to try.

Thinking that we could add or take away from God’s love for us, implies that Jesus’ sacrifice wasn’t enough to save us. But it was! And because of it, we are enough in God’s sight too.

We are enough for Him, solely because Jesus is enough for us.

Isaiah 53:10 says that it actually pleased God to crush Jesus and cause Him grief through death. It was through Jesus that God’s purpose was to be accomplished: the salvation of our souls. So all of God’s wrath reserved for sin was fully absorbed in Jesus on the cross.

But what does this mean in our daily lives?

Do we carry on sinning so that God’s kindness and grace will increase? (Romans 6:1) That’s a hard NO!

Sin dies with us when we surrender our lives to Jesus. Though we still fight against sin, God’s omniscience means He knows what we are and He loves us the same – on our best days, and our worst.

What’s more, our FEELINGS do not disappoint Him because He created us to feel each one in response to something we experience.

Maybe you’re confused, frustrated, hurt, disillusioned, or even jaded by what God is doing or NOT doing.

I’m convinced He is more disappointed when we hide our true feelings from Him, rather than just being honest with Him and ourselves about our struggle to trust and surrender.

Doubting Thomas? More like, Confident-Faith Thomas!

Consider how Thomas in John 20 wanted physical evidence of Jesus’ resurrection. When Jesus finally appeared to Thomas and the disciples, He greeted them all, but He addressed Thomas directly. Jesus invited Thomas to reach out and touch His wounds. He encourages him to stop doubting and believe.

Have you ever noticed that there is no record of Thomas actually touching Jesus? Yet Jesus’ invitation was there. He offered the tangible opportunity to dispel Thomas’ doubts because Jesus knew Thomas, and He knows us.

He knows we are prone to doubt. He knows it is sometimes hard for us to trust. He isn’t disappointed with how we might feel.

But perhaps the assurance of faith that Thomas so desperately wanted is exactly what Jesus honoured by allowing him to explore for himself.

Perhaps Jesus wants to see that in all of us. Echoing author Angie Smith: like Thomas, we don’t question God because we want to prove He doesn’t exist, we question because we want to rest in unshakable faith!

So we can freely wrestle through those doubts, trust issues, and ugly emotions with God without fear of disappointing Him or losing His love.

2. God is unstoppable

At the end of Job’s tragic but redemptive life, Job tells God:

I know that You can do anything. No one can keep You from doing what You plan to do.

– Job 42:2

Other translations say that God’s plans could never be: thwarted or withheld, frustrated, restrained, ruined or hindered.

WOW! Whatever God wants to do, whatever He wants to accomplish on this earth, in your life, in your family, in your character, in your destiny… it. will. happen. It cannot be stopped. God cannot be stopped. Because God’s plans always come to fruition.

There is nothing we could do to ruin what God has put into motion before the foundations of the earth. The hard truth? We’re just not that powerful – and that’s a good thing!

A line from the song I’ll be sharing at the end says:

I’ll never be more loved than I am right now. Wasn’t holding You up, so there’s nothing I can do to let You down.

Coming to terms with how small we are in the presence of a Holy God should humble us. But realizing how loved we are, how good His plans are, what He gave up to save us, should draw us all the closer to Him too!

Because only He can heal brokenness, pain, rejection, and sin. Only He can do it. His plans cannot be stopped. And neither can His love for us.

3. God is immutable

(Does not change)

God has never changed and can never change in any smallest measure. To change, He would need to go from better or worse or from worse to better. He cannot do either. For being perfect, He cannot become more perfect, and if He were to become less than perfect, He would be less than God.

A. W. Tozer

Here’s the connection:

If God does not change, His thoughts towards us don’t change either. We are loved fully and completely in every moment.

The psalmist says in Psalm 139:17

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

Let’s conclude with some of God’s unchanging thoughts towards you:

  • You are chosen (1 Peter 2:9)
  • You are treasured (Deuteronomy 14:2)
  • You are protected (Psalm 121:3)
  • You are His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)
  • You are free (John 8:31)
  • You are forever loved (Jeremiah 31:3)

What’s in the Ears

This line of the song bears repeating:

Wasn’t holding you up, so there’s nothing I can do to let you down.

Friend, you can put down that burden. You can let go of that pressure. You can stop trying to avoid disappointing God through perfect performance. He can take it. You’re not fooling Him because He already knows. He wants you to admit your weakness so you could finally accept His sufficient grace. For His power is made perfect in your weakness. And we can boast in our weaknesses and struggles, because that is where God’s power dwells. In the parts of our lives that feel like a disappointment, that’s where His power can manifest most.

If this resonates with you, let me know in the comments, send me a message, or even share with a friend!

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Celebrating 50 Blog Posts!

Published on by tinavila204 Comments

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FIFTY, Y’ALL.

I can’t even believe that’s real. I’m pretty proud of this milestone, which is why we’re going behind the scenes for a look on how we got here!

This is likely old news, but my background is in education. When I pursued a history teaching degree, I was sure I had found my life’s calling. Minoring in religious education meant all my favourite things were mixed into one undergraduate degree and I was set for life.

I truly loved each of the high schools at which I taught after earning my degree. Every school had its issues, every class had its drama, but I felt so content in my role. So fulfilled in my calling.

Mrs Avila – my first year teaching, 2009

And then, the move.

When we moved away from Montreal, I gave up a lot. My home, my family, my friends – as well as the seniority I was gaining with my school board. Still, I had no regrets.

It’s amazing how God fills you with His peace when you walk in His will.

I acquired my Ontario teaching license and was ready for that new classroom any moment now.

Well, it came as quite a surprise when I was without a teaching opportunity at all. Ontario’s teaching market was even more competitive than Quebec’s. So despite my modest seniority and the teaching experience I brought with me, I just couldn’t get my foot in the door. Nothing. Not a bite.

So I gave it up. That so-called calling was left to die.

I quickly moved on as life got busy settling into our new church, raising kids, and a part-time job I’ve been doing from home ever since.

Until two years ago when I felt a longing for more.

Sure, I missed having students, the structure of teaching, the exchange of ideas, the research and study that went into preparing lessons.

But then I realized, it was more than that! I had a restlessness in my spirit about the trajectory of my life and how I was spending my time. I felt aimless and purposeless and empty.

So when our pastor was putting together a study for his doctorate on discernment and the Holy Spirit, I took it as an opportunity to sort through some of this. I came out of the 8-week study with a clearer understanding of the source of my unrest. But also a clearer picture of what I wanted for the next season of my life.

I finally stopped ignoring my desire to continue my education. And although I’ve put a pin in that for now, one day this aging mama is going to do some graduate work in biblical studies or theology or something equally amazing.

I’ve accepted that the high school classroom isn’t for me…

Rather, I’m eager for opportunities to teach from God’s Word. It’s where my greatest passion and interest lies. I already get to do that with some amazing women at our church in a small group setting. Perhaps one day I’ll have opportunities to teach in a more formal capacity after acquiring some formal training.

Until then, starting this blog was the best thing I could have done to satisfy that desire. I couldn’t have predicted what the last two years were going to look like on a large scale. Although it’s hard for me to believe I’ve maintained consistent content throughout, I also can’t imagine what I would’ve done without this creative outlet in the midst of this pandemic.

The blog’s first year was an exercise in finding my voice. I explored all sorts of topics and some were, admittedly, complete rubbish.

Leading into the second year of the blog, I felt the immense gravity of what I was doing and was compelled to go deeper into faith topics exclusively. No doubt this has lost me readership, but I’m learning to be ok with that.

Online, as in life, I don’t feel I have much to offer if I’m not pointing to Jesus. I don’t do this perfectly by any means, just ask my family! But sharing from God’s Word is still my favourite thing. Anything else feels like a waste of your time. And I’m not about doing that!

I’m no authority on any given topic, but I do recognize where God has gifted me, and this has been my most life-giving venture by far.

First photo taken for the blog 2 years go!

Where do blog ideas come from?

The Bible! Reading the scriptures is my favourite spark of inspiration for topics to explore further. God teaches me a lot through His Word, and the teacher in me is continually compelled to pass along my findings.

My prayer, as Paul says in I Corinthians 11:23: that what I receive from the Lord, I would pass on to you… that what I’ve been learning would show up in my writing!

I’m also inspired by books, articles, podcasts, sermons, and songs. Message me for a list of current favourites!

What does the writing process look like?

I wish I had an ingenious formula to unveil here, but for the most part it’s pretty simple and not glamorous at all.

  • I start with a general thesis and come up with a working title to plug into my calendar. (There’s usually a few of these floating around in my drafts which get bumped up in the queue as they get closer to completion.)
  • I do additional research through online articles or biblical commentaries I borrow from our pastor.
  • As ideas formulate, I simply write and write and write! Sometimes just a little at a time, sometimes the entire post gets banged out in one sitting.

What do I hope to accomplish with the blog?

I’m often asked why I haven’t monetized the blog.

The reason is this: Right now, I write from the overflow of my heart. (Luke 6:45) I can’t say what financial income would do to this process. I want nothing more than to bring God glory with this blog and podcast.

So with no one to answer to, and no expectation to profit from it, I’m free. Plain and simple! No one owns me, and I don’t owe anyone a thing.

God speaks to me so loudly through His Word. He’s provided this space where I get to teach, in an unconventional way, the things that bring me life like nothing else.

Perhaps that’ll change someday. For now, I’m content in this. That you are still here is a blessing not lost on me. I’m so grateful and feel so lucky that despite 3 kids, 2 jobs, 1 Bible study, and all the other hats I wear as wife and homemaker, I get to do this.

I get to talk about Jesus and tell you about how great He is and how much He loves you and what lengths He took to reconcile you to Almighty God.

My screen is blurry with tears as I type this, but thank you for 50 posts. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.

May God bless you and keep you; May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

– Numbers 6:24-26

What’s in the Ears

There’s a zillion songs to choose from, but this one sums up my life pretty well and how I hope it’ll end. This song was also really significant to me as it came out during our first autumn in Leamington 6 years ago. I have the fondest memories of that season and this song. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy!

Thanks again dear reader/listener! I’m curious if any of this was new to you? Drop any questions or comments below or send me a message!

Podcast available through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Anchor!