Month: October 2021

United We Stand

Published on by tinavila202 Comments

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

It’s no secret we’ve all struggled through the past few years, but for various reasons. Personally, I’m grieved by the growing division amongst followers of Jesus.

I recently finished reading Francis Chan’s Until Unity. Y’all… I HIGHLY recommend it and I’ve linked it here. I’m not foolish enough to attempt anything more original than him, but it’s worth sharing highlights I found especially compelling.

So, if you’re weary of divisiveness, and still think unity is possible, then this is for you!

6 thoughts to compel us and propel us toward unity.

1. Why unity?

Because it was Jesus’ dying wish. One of Jesus’ very last prayers before being crucified was for unity. I think we sometimes breeze past this without giving it much thought.

We can become enthralled with someone’s last words, death bed confession, or final blessing before they pass. With this in mind, should we not give more consideration to Jesus’ desperate last words to Almighty God in the garden before His own death?

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. 22 I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are One— 23 I in them and You in Me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.

– Jesus, in John 17:20-23

2. Unity: Because nothing is more important

We weren’t called to follow political parties or ideology, nationalism, consumerism, or power. Instead, we were called to apprentice ourselves to Jesus’ way of life. We were called to be part of establishing the Kingdom of God here and now in our walking-around lives.

– Sarah Bessey, Out of Sorts

If we’re truly a people that believe Jesus’ call to unity is as important as He says it is, then by default all the other things that may define us or divide us are simply not as important, and should not take precedent over our unity and the fellowship of believers. It’s that simple.

3. Unity: Because it’s the one thing that makes our mission effective

If we can at least agree that the believer’s mission is to make disciples of all nations, then scripture is clear that love for one another is the way that we’ll succeed in our mission.

This is how everyone will know that you are My followers: if you love one another.

– Jesus, John 13:35

Notice how Jesus doesn’t say, everyone will know you are my followers if you form compelling arguments regarding:

  • correct ways to worship
  • women’s roles in the church
  • spiritual gifts
  • the relationship between church and state
  • strong Biblical literacy vs. charismatic Christianity
  • Biblical politics

It’s solely about how we love one another!

4. Unity: Because division grieves a Holy God

When love is shallow, all it takes is something as trivial as a disagreement to divide us.

– Francis Chan

Division has plagued the church for centuries. So if we can get serious about this and consider that the disagreements we’ve allowed to divide us are actually the work of the enemy, and not Spirit-filled conviction from God, we would be humbled to realize that we are actually grieving God’s Spirit who dwells in us.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

– Ephesians 4:29-32

5. Unity: Because I couldn’t possibly be right all the time

The love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) states that for now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Friends, how can we be so arrogant to think we are right all the time, every time? How?

Even the Apostle Paul admits in this passage that he couldn’t know it all perfectly on this side of heaven! I love how Francis Chan puts it when he says that if God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (Proverbs 3:34 and James 4:6), it’s hard to imagine those who are most arrogant would be the most accurate. Yes!

He goes on to say that…

Everyone seems to start out with the assumption that his or her opinion of God is right, rather than recognizing that all of us have an incomplete, flawed knowledge of God. Without humility, we will never have unity. More importantly, without humility, we cannot be in a right relationship with God.

6. Unity: Because nothing matters more to God

Consider this, if God moved heaven and earth in sending Jesus to die so we could be reconciled to Him, would it not make sense that He would also want His beloved children to be reconciled to one another as well?

His plan of salvation, the goal of redemption, is to reconcile all things unto Himself! Allow these words to wash over you from Colossians 1…

15 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.
    He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,
16 for through Him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through Him and for Him.
17 He existed before anything else,
    and He holds all creation together.
18 Christ is also the head of the church,
    which is His body.
He is the beginning,
    supreme over all who rise from the dead.
    So He is first in everything.
19 For God in all His fullness
    was pleased to live in Christ,
20 and through Him God reconciled
    everything to Himself.
He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth
    by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.
21 This includes you who were once far away from God. You were His enemies, separated from Him by your evil thoughts and actions. 22 Yet now He has reconciled you to Himself through the death of Christ in His physical body. As a result, He has brought you into His own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault.

This passage really struck me as I asked myself a simple question. I encourage you to reflect on it too:

If I will stand before God, holy and blameless without a single fault after all He’s done to reconcile me to Himself — what is stopping me from lovingly accepting a fellow believer who I don’t understand, cannot relate to, and have rejected as dead wrong?
Am I justified in that?

What’s in the Ears

This is an old hymn and I just love this rendition so much. As Jackie Hill Perry recently put it, this song’s dripping oil (anointed). Enjoy!

Do you also share the grief of disunity among believers? Let me know if this encouraged you! Send me a message, comment below, and share with a friend!

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

The Art of Waiting Well

Published on by tinavila202 Comments

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

This is could easily be the extended version of my last blog post, Count the Fruit. There was just too much to say about the fruit of the Spirit that I couldn’t help but keep writing this week. So if you haven’t checked that out, please do!

A little behind the scenes of my writing will tell you that I read Bible passages in almost every English-language translation, and try hitting the original Greek text too, in order to get the most out of what the authors are saying.

Well, this was no different. And I was particularly struck by the Amplified Bible translation of the fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

– Galatians 5:22-23

Did you catch what it said about patience? Oh my WORD! That’ll preach.

Patience isn’t just about the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting.

I mean, am I the only one who feels personally attacked with words like that? (I feel like Michael Scott from The Office when he declares that he is the victim of a hate crime!)

The point is that if we are truly surrendered to God, walking with Jesus, and filled with the Spirit, then the result of His presence within us will. be. this. fruit!

It’s literally the cause-and-effect theory in action.

Why does it matter how we wait?

  • If I’m not hurting anyone, why does it matter how I wait?
  • If it doesn’t make the wait any shorter, why does it matter how I wait?
  • If I’m not gaining anything from it, why does it matter how I wait?
  • What difference does it make??

I’m reminded of that line by John Wooden that says:

The true test of a person’s character is what they do when no one is watching.

So maybe it doesn’t change anything in your circumstances to wait well. But something happens inside us when we do.

  1. Perhaps you wait in ANGER
    Your default is irritability and frustration. You have a short fuse and should not be crossed if you don’t receive the answer you’re waiting for in a timely manner.
  2. Perhaps you wait in ANXIETY
    Your default is to be overwhelmed and filled with stressful, anxious thoughts. You can’t get your mind to settle, and you can’t function as what if‘s overtake you.
  3. Perhaps you wait in LISTLESSNESS
    Your default is apathy and disinterest. You lose any kind of ability to function because waiting on that one thing becomes all that matters. And life loses all meaning without that piece of the puzzle in place.

What do all these characteristics have in common?

They are symptoms of distrust in God.

Focusing on our circumstances makes the process of waiting unbearable.

It puts all the responsibility on our circumstances to fulfill us – our needs, wants, expectations, goals, and more. It’s not meant to be this way. We will ALWAYS be disappointed with this approach.

But those who wait for the Lord? Ohhhhh….. they will renew their STRENGTH! They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint.

– Isaiah 40:31

How is this even possible?

How can strength be RENEWED… not just sustained, propped up, extended… but renewed. Only God, y’all. Only God.

Because if His Spirit is filling us, even though we may begin weary and worn out… renewal comes as we focus on Him over our circumstances.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

– 2 Corinthians 4:18

Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end. He did not give up because of the cross! On the contrary, because of the joy that was waiting for Him, He thought nothing of the disgrace of dying on the cross, and He is now seated at the right side of God’s throne.

– Hebrews 12:2

So how do we wait well?

Worship while you wait

Because He is worthy ALWAYS. Even when we’re not getting what we want.

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.

– Psalm 42:5

Bring it to God

Because He alone can sustain and fill us with hope in the waiting.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

– Romans 15:13

These can only happen when we expose TWO LIES, and disarm their power over our thinking patterns.

Culture feeds us the following lies that are masquerading as RESPONSIBILITY and MATURITY.

1. The Responsibility of Being in Control

  • Culture tells us that we’re somehow being responsible when we get busy trying to control every potential outcome of our circumstances. It is the illusion of control, and believing the lie that we can decide when and how things will turn out. Of course, we can control some things. So distinguishing the difference between things we can control, and things we cannot control, is critical.

Listen, those of you who are boasting, “Today or tomorrow we’ll go to another city, spend some time there, go into business and make heaps of profit!” But you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring. For your fleeting life is but a warm breath of air that is visible in the cold only for a moment and then vanishes!

– James 4:13-15

2. The Maturity in Worrying

  • Culture also tells us our worry is a sign of maturity. Because if we dwell on our problems and consider all possible outcomes, then we are morally good for worrying about them. We believe that immature people simply don’t understand what’s at stake, or don’t consider all the factors. When in fact, we’re really just believing the lie that we care more because we worry more.

Does worry add anything to your life? Can it add one more year, or even one day? So if worrying adds nothing, but actually subtracts from your life, why would you worry about God’s care of you?

– Luke 12:25-26

It goes on to talk about how if He cares so much about birds and plants, wouldn’t He care for YOU all the more?

Bottom Line

Waiting well matters. Not just for my witness, but for my mental health and the state of my soul! It’s worth reflecting on how we wait, and ask God to help us trust Him with all the unknowns so that the result of His presence within us could be the fruit of His Spirit. And that is the true art of waiting well.

What’s in the Ears

I cannot even deal with how good this song is. Hit it at the 7:00 mark if you feel like a good cry over words to build you up in your season of waiting. You’re welcome.

Have you mastered the art of waiting well? I can assure you, I have not! But I’d love to know if any of this has been helpful to you! You can let me know in the comments or send me a message. And feel free to share this too if it resonates!

*Podcast version on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Anchor!

Count the Fruit

Published on by tinavila209 Comments

*Podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!

“Count to 10. Just breathe… and count to 10.”

Have you tried that? Well, I have. Many times. I’ve flaunted my counting skills plenty without much to show for it. I was no less angry, and no more calm than when I started. Just another confirmation that I can in fact count from 1 to 10. And most of the time… I couldn’t even get to 10 because my blood might have just boiled over first.

Mom rage. It’s real. It’s that moment after you’ve asked them calmly to stop 6 times in a row with not even the faintest acknowledgement of your words. Then you’re seeing red and feeling very disrespected in your own home by a bunch of people half your size… Ok, who’s the boss around here? Who’s raising these kids? Because there’s no way I’d let my kids get away with this! Except oops! They are my kids… and they’re absolutely getting away with it.

That picture might make you think of 10 ways I’m getting it wrong, or 10 more things you would do differently. And you could be right! But that’s not really the point.

I’m not writing this to share parenting advice. I’m not selling you anything, and I’m not trying to debate parenting models.

I’m just saying: I struggle. It’s hard. And sometimes I feel trapped by the very thing I wanted more than anything – my family.

I hate to give you a mental image of me that’s anything less than the picture of perfection. As much as we want to appear real and authentic, it’s terrifying to be that vulnerable in such a public setting. So I won’t go into further details because that won’t bless anybody. But it’s worth noting that as much as I love sharing my highlight moments, lots of things about parenting are a lowlight challenge for me. And I suspect they are for you too.

We may not struggle with the same things, or in the same ways, but we’re all imperfect people trying to do life perfectly. Well, it’s just not that easy.

Then it hit me…

A few months ago, I was praying through the fruit of the Spirit. You know…

  • love
  • joy
  • peace
  • patience
  • kindness
  • goodness
  • faithfulness
  • gentleness
  • self-control

You can find them in Galatians 5:22-23.

I have prayed through the list for years, pleading with God to make each of these qualities a part of my life.

But in that moment, I sensed Him telling me to count them out. Just count the fruit.

In stressful moments, in angry moments, in tense moments, in overwhelming moments, in mundane moments. Count out the fruit of the Spirit. So I did. I tried it. And it changed everything!

Allow me to me explain…

Defiance and cruelty are triggers for me.

If a child is being willfully disobedient after clear instruction or correction, I tend to lose it.

We all make mistakes. Kids are kids and their brains are not fully developed, blah blah… so I can usually make allowances for dumb stuff they do without realizing.

But if they are explicitly told not to? If they were corrected in their behaviour or actions and still continued down the same path? Ohhhhhhhhhhh dang, good luck to that kid because I CANNOT with disobedience and defiance.

That, and cruelty. When my kids are cruel to each other (and it happens, I ain’t raising angels), I have very little patience for this. I know it’s all part of being human since we’re all selfish and self-serving. But being cruel, just to be cruel, makes me super angry. And the result isn’t pretty.

So these are the scenarios where I need the Lord’s strong arm of intervention, because there’s a good chance we’ll all end up in tears if I gave in to my flesh.

And therein lies the problem. Where do my reactions come from? What’s at the root of my response? Is it God’s Spirit in me? Or is it my own selfish flesh?

Romans 7:15-20 talks about doing what we don’t want to do. Case in point: I don’t want to yell at my kids. But I do.

So rather than counting to 10, which has been useless to me, I now count the fruit.

When I’m confronted with defiance towards me, or cruelty towards each other, I recite the fruit of the Spirit and something incredible has been happening…

The blood-boiling, rage-inducing moment subsides as I say:

love… joy… peace… patience… kindness… goodness…
faithfulness… gentleness… self-control…

I have literally felt my anger melt away. And the culprit in front of me who was driving me crazy, making me want to rip my hair out…?

Well somehow I’m left staring at that child through the eyes of Almighty God. I’m filled with compassion, empathy, and God’s love for this kid. I’m reminded of how precious and loved they actually are.

And I can parent with a cool head.

Friends, I wish you could see my face as you take in these words. This is legit. I have never, ever, E-V-E-R found success in keeping a cool head in parenting through moments that push my buttons HARD. It’s just not in me.

Maybe it’s my passionate Greek blood. Maybe it’s because I’m selfish and I want things to go my way. Whatever it is, counting to 10 wasn’t doing it.

So what is it about the fruit of the Spirit?

I’ve learnt this: it’s not about trying hard enough to do the right thing, because under pressure, the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45). When my heart is full of rage, rage comes out.

So I meditate on the fruit of the Spirit. I ask God to fill me with His Spirit, so that from the overflow of my heart, I can speak:

love… joy… peace… patience… kindness… goodness…
faithfulness… gentleness… self-control…

Because when we’re rooted in God, the fruit of the Spirit naturally flows out of us.

How do we remain rooted in God?

  • Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you – James 4:8
  • If you remain joined to me, and I to you, you will bear a lot of fruit. – John 15:5
  • The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. – 2 Chronicles 16:9
  • Keep your mind focused on what’s above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:2
  • Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about these things. – Philippians 4:8
  • Be unceasing and persistent in prayer. – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

That last one was the real game-changer for me. I now spend much of my day just running through the fruit of the Spirit in my mind. While chopping lettuce, folding laundry, sweeping the floor… I just count that fruit as a prayer. Asking God to fill me with His Spirit. So that when another trigger episode comes, I’m already in a mental state of…

love… joy… peace… patience… kindness… goodness…
faithfulness… gentleness… self-control…

And that fruit can then pour out of me.

I can meet that child with understanding and acceptance — not acceptance of their behaviour or actions — but for who they are: loved and cherished. So we can figure out the why of their choices, together.

And then I don’t feel like a complete failure or hypocrite. It’s still a work in progress. But I’m finally feeling hope and freedom in this parenting journey.

What’s in the Ears

If you decide to try counting the fruit, would you let me know? Have you got any good parenting tips that have surprised you with mild or wild success? Message me or comment below!

*Podcast version on Spotify or Anchor!