Confession: I don’t know what it is about 7pm, but once it strikes, I hit a wall and can no longer parent. It’s like I’m a character out of Cinderella who’s out past curfew and turns into a pumpkin.
Being a stay-at-home parent means you’re ON for your kids at all times. And with one kid who isn’t a lover of sleep, it means we sure do see lots of each other during all hours of the day and night.
By the time we’re finished with dinner, I have a hard time even being around my kids. Is that TMI? My tank is empty. I’ve reached my limit and I have nothing left. I just can’t seem to be enough for them.
*Disclaimer, my kids are freakin’ awesome. They may feel like too much, but they’re really not. They’re just regular kids, with regular needs. However, I am a human mama with human limitations. I don’t have boundless energy or infinite patience. Even on my best days, my kids can feel like way too much! And I can often feel like I’m not enough.
**Disclaimer 2: I know I can also be a little much. Being married to an introvert, I’ve learnt that when my husband has had a difficult day, I can be a little overbearing with my questions, requests and anecdotes.
It requires a conscious effort on my part to Tone. It. Down! and not be overbearing, demanding, naggy, clingy, desperado… ya know, all the most sought after qualities every man loves in his lady.
But it doesn’t stop there, folks!
Being too much or not enough is a struggle in many relationships dynamics.
Take friendships: we can all think of that one needy friend – hey, maybe you are that friend!
That one person who never seems to get enough of your time or attention. Who needs more of you than you can give, or are willing to give!
With unhealthy boundaries, we can feel like we’re stretched too thin in meeting the demands of our time and relationships.
We can feel like we’re either too much for some people, or not enough for others. To some, we may feel like a burden or a nuisance. While to others, no matter what we do or how much we give, it’s never enough.
This is the tension we all have to manage as people created with limitations in our time and mental capacity. We simply cannot be all things to all people (Scripture taken out of context, don’t @ me!).
To find any success in these areas, I humbly propose the following:
- Recognize the struggle
- Put healthy boundaries in place to manage time and responsibilities
- Ask God for His empowering strength to face each day and its demands
- And voilà! You win at life!
Ok, ok I’m obviously making ridiculous mom jokes. But the truth is that the heart of this blog post isn’t about boundaries, tips on time management, healthy vs. toxic friendships, or anything else like that.
What I’ve come to realize is this: our culture of unrealistic expectations means that we can so easily feel suffocated by the needs of others. Or on the flip side, we can feel the pressure to shrink ourselves in order to not be so overbearing.
Whichever side you tend to lean on, neither gives us a healthy view of God. That’s what I really want to shed light on here, and that’s the real tragedy of this whole thing.
Allow me to make a few things clear:
- You will NEVER be too much for God.
- You will NEVER be not enough for God (excuse the double negative, I’m making a point).
- You will NEVER be misunderstood by God.
- You will NEVER be a burden to God.
- You will NEVER be annoying to God.
- You will NEVER be insufficient to God.
Why? Because God is not like us! He doesn’t get tired. He doesn’t lose His patience. He doesn’t expect something from us that He knows we were never meant to give.
He doesn’t roll His eyes at our neediness. He doesn’t get exasperated at our worry. He doesn’t get frustrated with how long-winded our ramblings can be.
Yes, He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) and He is angry at our sin (Isaiah 59:2).
But amazingly, God—so full of compassion—still forgives us! He covered over our sins with His love, refusing to destroy us all. Over and over He holds back His anger, restraining wrath to show us mercy.
Psalm 78:38 (narrative edit by me)
Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the people who overwhelm me, I have to consciously remind myself that God doesn’t get overwhelmed by me. He doesn’t need a break from me. He doesn’t get His fill or reach His limit of “Tina time”.
Because the Lord longs to be gracious to me; therefore He will rise up to show me compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!
Isaiah 30:18
Where do you go to fill up when you’re empty? Who could ever truly be enough for you when you’re just not enough?
1 I look up to the mountains—
– Psalm 121
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, He who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord Himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.
- God is always always always available to us. ALWAYS! (Hebrews 4:16)
- He created us for Himself! For the sole purpose of being in relationship with Him. (Romans 11:36)
- He is fully aware of all our limitations and toxic traits, and they do not deter him from us. (Hebrews 4:15)
- He knows every little thing about us, and still loves us completely. (Psalm 139 – all of it! Read it with fresh eyes when you need the reminder that God doesn’t think you’re too much or not enough.)
- When we put our faith in His Son, Jesus, we are covered by Him, and can have full access to fountain that never runs dry. (John 4:14)
When you’ve been burnt enough times by people who want you to be less of yourself, or demanding more than you have to give, please please please – remember that Jesus is not like that. Yes, He asks us to lay down our lives to follow Him (Luke 9:23), but it’s so He can give us abundant life in return!
I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!
– John 10:10
I’d say that’s a trade in our favour, friends! So when you feel hesitant to go to God with your frustrations, questions, qualms, and needs – don’t! Don’t feel hesitant! He’s not burnt out by you. He has more for you than you could ever need.
What’s in the Ears
This week we’re showcasing not 1, but 2 songs!
The first was an obvious choice and truly ministers to the heart.
Talk to me, friend! Do you ever feel like you’re too much or not enough for your people?
Where does this land for you? Do you ever project those feelings onto God? Let me know in the comments or send me a DM!
From The Overflow 