Month: March 2021

It’s Not Me, It’s Him

Published on by tinavila2010 Comments

The Keys of Success:

Fame. Fortune. Power.

We live in a world that idolizes a trinity of success. Sure, we may also hear that humility, generosity, and kindness are valuable traits in a well-rounded individual. But many would prefer to be surrounded by people like that, rather than do the hard work required to actually exhibit these virtues.

We want to be seen, heard, and accepted.
Fame gets us that.
We want security, flexibility, and stability.
Fortune gets us that.
We want to be important, significant, and in control.
Power gets us that.

However, the more we understand about God’s economy, the more we know that it’s an upside down approach to life as we know it.

You want fame?
Reject the approval of man.
You want fortune?
Give it all away.
You want power?
Be a servant.

It doesn’t make sense.

Without God in the equation, it can be hard to let go of the pressure to make things happen for yourself. Our culture pushes a strong individualistic worldview to look out for #1. So letting go can feel like giving up! And to give up – is failure.

Especially in situations where we’ve worked so hard and deserve credit or recognition for our accomplishments. It is downright foolish to allow someone else the honour of our well-deserved and hard-earned accolades.

And yet this is what we’re called to…

I’ve been both awestruck and inspired by the story of a man named Joseph. Not Joseph, the stepdad of Jesus; but Joseph, the guy with the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.

We’re introduced to Joseph in Genesis 37 as a 17 year old punk kid with a big mouth and a chip on his shoulder. Need a recipe for worldly success? Joseph certainly appeared to aspire to that level of greatness.

Being the youngest of eleven brothers, Joseph would’ve had a lot to prove. Except lucky for him, he was their father’s favourite. And he knew it. So really, he didn’t even have to try to be noticed.

To add insult to injury for his ten older brothers, Joseph had a bunch of dreams implying that they would all serve him and even bow down to Joseph one day. Partly due to these outrageous dreams, as well as the preferential treatment shown to Joseph by their father, Joseph’s brothers orchestrated a plot to get rid of him.

Within just two small chapters (Genesis 37 and 39), we see that Joseph is ambushed, beaten, left for dead, sold into slavery, displaced to a foreign country, wrongfully accused of attempted rape, and wrongfully imprisoned as a result.

What Joseph lived through in these chapters is absolutely horrific. It’s the kind of stuff that would make a great movie, but nothing you’d ever sign up for in real life.

When we first met Joseph, he was arrogant, proud, entitled… all characteristics that come so naturally to so many of us (myself included, I assure you). And honestly, the most successful go-getters will often utilize these characteristics in order to achieve the success they crave.

Joseph’s trials changed him in remarkable ways. What I want to highlight here is just one little verse out of the many chapters that cover Joseph’s life.

So Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; but God will give Pharaoh the answer he wants, an answer of peace.”

– Genesis 41:16

If you don’t know how the rest of the story unfolds, this will be a major spoiler, my apologies.

But the guy that Pharaoh summoned from PRISON to interpret his dreams, pivots into the second in command of the most powerful empire the world had ever known.

But HOW?!

Because he trusted God. Because he gave God credit.

Because even though he was able to interpret dreams and was recognized throughout the land for it, he didn’t see it as a skill to practice or improve through hard work and will power.

He recognized that his ability to interpret dreams was a gift from God.

He did nothing to earn it, and could do nothing to keep it. He simply trusted in God’s sovereignty. Because of this, he didn’t fret about his fate. Rather, he placed his life in the capable hands of God. The One who could turn a young, foreign captive into a powerful ruler.

When I reflect on my own life; my own dreams, ambitions, aspirations… it’s easy to worry that things won’t turn out the way I hope or envision. I have big dreams and big hopes, as we all do! But Joseph’s story is such a valuable lesson for me.

You see, based on what I’ve come to learn about God’s character, I just can’t imagine Him raising Joseph to prominence had he still been running his mouth about how he’d be in a position of power someday.

He had to learn true humility. And learn to give credit where credit is due. For when the time came for him to prove himself and make something of himself, Joseph could say with quiet confidence (rather than arrogant pride)… it’s not me, it’s Him.

I know it can feel scary to let go of the reins and trust that God’s got you. But take heart! There’s more comfort to be found in Joseph’s story regarding this brave call to faith.

Just in chapter 39 alone, we read that, the Lord was with Joseph, not once or twice, not thrice, but SEVEN TIMES!!! That’s a big deal. If you’re like me, you know there’s no earthly success that can replace the peace of mind in knowing the Lord is with you.

Which is why I want to make clear that by success in this post, I’m definitely not referring to the rhetoric of the prosperity gospel, as I’m a staunch opponent of this view. The way I interpret godly success is in the Lord’s presence and provision. To sense that He is with me, and to know He is meeting my needs, there’s such goodness in that. I consider that to be a successful life.

And as Joseph told his brothers when they finally reunited, and Joseph’s childhood dreams are realized when all ten brothers bow before him:

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

– Genesis 50:20

The Bible doesn’t say this, but I’m willing to bet that Joseph couldn’t have predicted that his dreams would come to fruition in such a magnanimous way. Perhaps he thought his father would grant him the first born blessing, which was significant in those days, and that he’d be man of the house over his brothers. But to be second to no one but the mighty Pharaoh? It’s almost absurd.

But that’s God for you. In His upside down economy, it just doesn’t make sense.

Paul’s words in Romans are an echo of this inspiring story:

Be encouraged, friend! When it feels like everyone else is figuring it out, working it out, and getting ahead, remember this: you are not behind if you are walking with God. You are exactly where you need to be for Him to do a good work in your life. And as long as you’re giving Him the credit for the good, He’ll keep working it out for your true success.

Join me in saying, it’s not me, it’s Him, and we’ll see Him work out so many things for our good, His glory, and for His kind of success.

What’s in the Ears

I’ve had this song on repeat for months. I now find it SO well suited for this post. Enjoy!

I would love to know your thoughts on this definition of success! Does is resonate? Send me a message or comment below!

Sustainable

Published on by tinavila206 Comments

Alt title: Sleepless, but not in Seattle

Something’s been going down in the Avila household over the last several months – if I could give you a more specific timeframe, I would. But alas, my fried brain refuses me that luxury. That thing is: sleepless nights.

If you don’t already know, I pride myself in being a stern mother. My boys were sleep trained from young ages and slept for a solid 12 hours well before their first birthdays. Go me!

Hmmm ok so what’s that verse again? Pride comes before disaster, and arrogance before a fall….. ah yes. Well in case you were wondering, it was written with yours truly in mind. Thanks, Proverbs 16:18.

Basically, the longer I’m a parent, the less I know.

Before kids, I knew EXACTLY what to do about everything. Now? Let’s just say, the more trips I take around the sun with my three little shadows, the more questions I have about everything I thought I knew.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say: no one’s sleeping.

Where we host the overnight circus

You may be asking yourself, why is an entire blog post being devoted to kids’ sleep problems? Thank you, that’s a fair question, Loraine. But this post just had to happen at some point because it’s literally taking over my very existence.

Despite having tried everything EVERYTHING we can think of, our three year old wakes multiple times in the night, and the disjointed sleep has had adverse effects on my mental health.

Effects of Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation affects everyone differently. In fact, it’s rumoured that there are unicorns among us who are hardly affected by lack of sleep at all. Good for you! But we can’t be friends. Bye, Loraine.

Besides the obvious (ie: physical exhaustion, foggy brain, etc), lack of sleep manifests itself for me in the following ways:

  • short temper
  • dark thoughts
  • hopelessness
  • apathy
  • lethargy
  • self-destructive tendencies
  • mild depression
  • resting bitch face

When you’re raising young children, these are ugly things to contend with. Yet it pains me to admit, here we are.

The Thorn in my Side

In his second letter to the Corinthian church, the Apostle Paul tells them about a thorn in the flesh that he claims keeps him humble:

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

– II Corinthians 12:8-10

We don’t know what the thorn actually was. Some speculate a physical ailment, others think he was referring to persecution.

The specifics are not important.

What is important, is that God chose to not relieve him of this thorn so that Paul would increase his dependency on Christ for strength.

Wow, can I ever relate to that.

When I carve out time to spend in prayer and God’s Word, He empowers me to take on my day in a strength of spirit that just does not make sense based on the amount of sleep I get.

When my natural inclination is to spiral into negative thoughts and self destructive tendencies… His right hand sustains me. His gentleness makes me great (Psalm 18:25), and I can be the wife and mom my family needs, because I’m not depending on my own strength. Instead, I’m forced to lean into Jesus to fill in the gaps I simply don’t have the capacity for on my own.

My lifeline

Great is Thy Faithfulness

During one of my desperate moments before the Lord, I was asking Him to sustain me through a long day when my husband was due back home long after dinner and bedtime. I came across this verse:

The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort (sustain, encourage) a tired and weary people. Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will.

– Isaiah 50:4

In parenting, as in life, I want His wise words to be what overflows from me. I NEED His comfort, sustenance, and encouragement to not only bless the tired and weary who may cross my path, but because I am tired and weary myself!

The real gem is in that last line. Personally, I find that morning by morning line to be a nod to Lamentations!

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness.

– Lamentations 3:22-23

Every morning is a new opportunity to be met with His faithful love, mercy, and grace. Although circumstances may be the same (for me, utter exhaustion is my constant companion), I have learnt through these Scriptures and others, that I’m not alone. The Lord is with me. He gives me what I need. And He can use it all for my growth.

Because I’ve come to recognize that everything He gives me is either GOOD, or it’s FOR. MY. GOOD!

So if I get some sleep, then that’s good.

But if I’m sleep deprived, it’s for my good that I’m then forced into deeper dependency on Him to do what I cannot do, namely: be emotionally stable.

Sleep for His Beloved… and a Good Laugh?

I was reminded recently of a psalm that talks of children as a gift from God. But it was the verse just above it that had me burst out laughing at the irony. Y’all, these two verses are literally one after the other. You can’t make this stuff up:

2 for God gives rest to those He loves.
3 Children are a gift from the Lord; 
they are a reward from him

– Psalm 127:2-3

Please tell me you see the humour.

I am believing for that real rest that God promises to those He loves…

But then following after with that cheeky little reminder that children are a gift? A reward? Come on, God! I’m too tired and weary to appreciate that truth in this season!

But He doesn’t let me off the hook. He keeps making a way for me to carry on with more reminders of His goodness and provision.

28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

– Matthew 11:28-30

I’m reminded here that I can carry anything when I carry it with Jesus. When I learn from Him, when I lean into Him for the strength to do it.

So as I conclude with bloodshot eyes and a chorus of yawns, I hope this encourages you in whatever burden you carry.

Is it this endless pandemic? Marital strain? A toxic work environment? Estranged loved one?

Or something that doesn’t feel like it should be a big deal… but you can’t help that it really is. Like not getting enough sleep? I can say with confidence: I may be struggling in sleeplessness, but He sustains me. There’s goodness in that.

What’s in the Ears

Ok I know I say it every time, but listen with lyrics! This song is just too good.

Is there a thorn in your own side that’s got you on your knees in prayer just to survive the day? You are not alone!
Please reach out to me to vent, for prayer, or anything else! I love to hear from you!